PenPen<3
Member
- Apr 5, 2026
- 10
I've been trying to ctb (mostly through hanging) for 7 years now and whenever I get suicidal thoughts it's so hard to want to commit to anything at all, I'm just so tired of trying. I feel so lazy bc I barely even did research on this site when it has everything I need. I turned 18 pretty recently so I should have hope because I have access to a lot more options, but I just don't want to get out of bed at all. The only reason I get anything productive done is so that I can sit around doing nothing for a bit longer without anyone bothering me.
I really need help actually caring enough to put effort into it. The only idea I had was to wait until college and go to a country with looser gun control laws and ctb with a shotgun, but I'm taking a gap year so I'd have to wait until late 2027. After failing to od I lost a lot of hope for ctb
I really need help actually caring enough to put effort into it. The only idea I had was to wait until college and go to a country with looser gun control laws and ctb with a shotgun, but I'm taking a gap year so I'd have to wait until late 2027. After failing to od I lost a lot of hope for ctb
