How do i deal with the fact that my death will traumatize my parents?

[HermitLonerGuy]

To be fair I have had very good Parents, they did everything for me and gave me everything.

But i still want to die badly.

Im just feeling so guilty that my death will destroy them.

I just cant live in this world with this pain though.

How do i deal with the fact that my suicide is a selfish act that will cause pain?

They already lost one child to suicide too ( My sister)

But i really have things in my life that cant be changed and too difficult to live with.

 

[Suicidebydeath]

I'm sorry to hear that. Maybe you could leave them a note explaining your feelings. I wish I could relate, they don't really come into my thoughts that way.

 

[HermitLonerGuy]

I'm sorry to hear that. Maybe you could leave them a note explaining your feelings. I wish I could relate, they don't really come into my thoughts that way.

they already know and it devastated them when i failed my attempt . they put me in treatment and stuff and it didnt help.

 

[Al_stargate]

I have the same issue. I wanna go because my issue can't be changed but I am only child and live with my parents and my death would destroy them. Don't know what to do. If I was alone, I would probably already do it. I tried discussing my suicidal thoughts with them but they don't wanna hear it. I feel stuck, I wanna die but don't want to destroy their lives. Do you have any other siblings HermitLonerGuy?

 

[Hollowillow]

To be fair I have had very good Parents, they did everything for me and gave me everything.

But i still want to die badly.

Im just feeling so guilty that my death will destroy them.

I just cant live in this world with this pain though.

How do i deal with the fact that my suicide is a selfish act that will cause pain?

They already lost one child to suicide too ( My sister)

But i really have things in my life that cant be changed and too difficult to live with.

2 kids noping out... Bad environment...

What happened

 

[HermitLonerGuy]

I have the same issue. I wanna go because my issue can't be changed but I am only child and live with my parents and my death would destroy them. Don't know what to do. If I was alone, I would probably already do it. I tried discussing my suicidal thoughts with them but they don't wanna hear it. I feel stuck, I wanna die but don't want to destroy their lives. Do you have any other siblings HermitLonerGuy?

what are you gonna do? i have a bro whos an ass and chose a woman over my parents and gives her money and everything but doesnt help out my parents.

2 kids noping out... Bad environment...

What happened

Oh no they were very good.

My sister killed herself over a Man that left her / breakup.
And she was with the wrong crowd of freinds with drugs.

and i have physical and mental disabilities.

None my parents fault.

 

[Seiko]

I have this problem too. I almost wish I could honestly talk to them like, "I'm going to kill myself. Is there anything you'd like to us to do together or talk about before I leave?" without being involuntarily admitted to a psych ward or having them monitor me 24/7. I'd feel SO much better; closure on every avenue.

 

[conflagration]

If they are so great parents why your sister ctb and you want too?

 

[AnxietyHangover]

It's a thought that I'm struggling with everyday, but I know they'd want me to be happy. They'll never accept it, but I can't live like this. It doesn't feel like living anyway. Their son died long ago. Only an empty shell remains.

 

[FuneralCry]

As already been said all that anyone can really do in my opinion, if they plan to ctb and they are leaving others behind is to write a note. This could act as some form of explanation and potentially give them some understanding. If they are left with no note then they will likely be left with lots of unanswered questions.

My point of view on this topic is that grief and loss are a part of life and it's an inevitable consequence of choosing to procreate. Everyone will die and lose everything someday, our fate as humans is to die and be forgotten. If I died today, whatever those still alive do or think could never be my concern as I simply won't be there at that point. The non existent have no worries and are unable to feel anything at all. I could never stay alive only for others personally and it's unfair to expect people to suffer for the sake of others. After all, suicide is a personal decision in which nobody else should have any say in.

 

[HermitLonerGuy]

If they are so great parents why your sister ctb and you want too?

Sister killed herself cause her boyfreind broke up with her and i have physical and mental disabilities and dont wana live like this.

 

[nochu]

I have the same issue. I wanna go because my issue can't be changed but I am only child and live with my parents and my death would destroy them. Don't know what to do. If I was alone, I would probably already do it. I tried discussing my suicidal thoughts with them but they don't wanna hear it. I feel stuck, I wanna die but don't want to destroy their lives. Do you have any other siblings HermitLonerGuy?

i know this is an older post but i'm in the same situation.. just wanted to let you know that you're not i alone in this either as an only child. i cry cause of living and the thought of how'd they react to my decision so i get how complicated it can be.

it really is hard much love to you and the poster of this thread.

 

[niiina]

Same. But there's nothing I can do to make it less miserable for them, I know they will suffer, the end of my agony will be the beginning of theirs. I really need to go tho. If society was different I'd tell them beforehand, but I can't.
That's horrible but that's how it's unfortunately

 

[ph0enix]

you can leave a book for suicide dependants and information for self-help groups

don't forget to mention it's only a drop on the hot stone

 

[SamTam33]

Ultimately I blame my parents for my predicament so that makes me less concerned for their state of mind when I die.

They didn't wring their hands over my birth and whether I'd want to be born to them, so I don't feel obligated to fret about how they'll feel about my death.

Why would they have kids knowing the kid would likely have to watch THEM die? I bet parents never, ever - EVER - consider that when planning to have a family. Why not?

If the death of a loved one is so unbearable, you're pretty much guaranteeing that your kids will have to experience your death. Sooo... how do you justify having them and subjecting them to your demise?

Because having a child is all about what THEY want.

Therefore, my death is going to be all about what I want.

tl;dr - you have to choose between watching them die or them watching you die.

 

[ryo the frog]

I have this problem too. I almost wish I could honestly talk to them like, "I'm going to kill myself. Is there anything you'd like to us to do together or talk about before I leave?" without being involuntarily admitted to a psych ward or having them monitor me 24/7. I'd feel SO much better; closure on every avenue.

I'd too like to be honest with my parents about how I feel and be able to spoil them one last time. but suicidal people "arent rational" so my feelings will just have to go to the grave… or my notes.

 

[freedomcalls]

Ultimately you suffer, or they do
And if you decide to go then I think the most compassionate thing is to leave a note saying you love them, appreciate what they've done for you and don't blame them in any way for your choice to leave

Wishing you peace