Lambybahhhhhh
One day, I am gonna grow wings
- Jan 8, 2025
- 48
I've been there for my partner countless times when they would repeat they wanted to die. When I tried to ctb two days ago and told them, all I get is "stop being so fucking stupid". I just keep replaying it, but the cherry on top is that they have made no effort to support me since then. I would be going insane over the thought of them not being here anymore, they seem fine. Maybe it's because they don't believe me, or maybe they just don't care. I guess it's better this way, otherwise I wouldn't attempt again. I know I've talked about this already but I have nowhere else to go, and if I keep it all to myself I feel like i'll go insane. I don't want that. I just wants to stop hurting so badly. Maybe they're right that I have a victim mentality, I don't know. I just wish they truly loved me. Either way, I won't feel this way soon enough. I have a new method to ctb, haven't tested it out but it sounds promising. I just hope the peace I didn't get here, is on the other side. It's comforting. It really is. I write out how my death would feel and emphasize that I won't need to suffer anymore. Death is such a beautiful thing to me, it sounds like a warm embrace taking me away from everything.
