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przeciwwymiotne

Be rude to me at all times, I don't deserve kindne
Jun 27, 2022
317
He's been through some bad stuff, his dad died, his friends left him, he's depressed and hopeless.

He's not actively suicidal, just passively. But I'm so worried and I have recurring dreams about him dying.

I feel bad cuz it seems that my bad mental health has influenced him to the point of a breakdown. He still supports me so much.

How can I help him? What should I do?
I want te better myself for him. I want us both to live and have a wholesome loving life!!
I worry so much because I know it's partly my fault. And I feel hopeless because it feel I'm not strong enough to save him or constantly support him

He disregards his own pain, feelings and mental health. I'm so worried
 
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Reactions: lovedread, Little_Suzy and ColorlessTrees
Little_Suzy

Little_Suzy

Amphibious
May 1, 2023
880
You should ask him, (not us) what he needs to get better. If you want to help him, get him what he needs. When I say "help," I don't mean to enable one another by romanticizing trauma bonding and mental illness.

Be realistic! Some mental illnesses make it impossible to have a stable, peaceful, and healthy relationship, regardless of how "sweet and loving" your partner is, particularly if the co-diagnosis is substance abuse.

If you are mentally ill, you should avoid taking on the role of caregiver, because you are the one who needs care. Think about it. In other words, if you care for him, he cannot care for you, and vice versa.

He will need professional help, and you can provide in-home support as directed by his healthcare team, as well as financial support for the household. Can you do this if you're struggling with mental illness?
 
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przeciwwymiotne

Be rude to me at all times, I don't deserve kindne
Jun 27, 2022
317
You should ask him, (not us) what he needs to get better. If you want to help him, get him what he needs. When I say "help," I don't mean to enable one another by romanticizing trauma bonding and mental illness.

Be realistic! Some mental illnesses make it impossible to have a stable, peaceful, and healthy relationship, regardless of how "sweet and loving" your partner is, particularly if the co-diagnosis is substance abuse.

If you are mentally ill, you should avoid taking on the role of caregiver, because you are the one who needs care. Think about it. In other words, if you care for him, he cannot care for you, and vice versa.

He will need professional help, and you can provide in-home support as directed by his healthcare team, as well as financial support for the household. Can you do this if you're struggling with mental illness?
That's depressing. Could I DM you to talk about it a bit?
 
M

MM's the name

Member
May 22, 2024
21
Ask what he wants and show him that you care also there is a lot to experience in life
 

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