Help How can I get help?

[MaskedSparrow]

Hi! Sorry, I posted a few weeks ago here. I think I'm doing a little better? I think I need help. I'm a minor, and I go to therapy. The issue is, I'm disfigured facially (it's a condition). It makes it really hard to talk to people, both physically (my jaw did not properly form and my voice sounds like I'm a stereotypical mentally handicapped person) and mentally (I can't see why anyone would have any empathy for a deformed person). It's been proven countless times that people have a subconscious bias against those with disfigured faces. The worst part is, I'm so, so sensitive. I feel as if I'm going to cry almost every hour. But I wait until I get home from school, because I look more disgusting as a person when I cry.

How do I talk to my therapist about this? I can't open up about anything without crying. I'm male so I'm afraid that if someone sees a disfigured male crying, they'd feel like it's disgusting and a little funny that the cripple thinks it's worthy enough to express emotions as if it isn't subhuman. It feels so so difficult to talk about this while my therapist will be seeing my face. They'll be paying more attention to it then. Maybe I could wear a mask and glasses, and say something like "I was a little under the weather a few days ago but I'm wearing a mask just in case I'm a little contagious."

Another thing I want to talk about is that I hate being male and have done so since a very young age. I acknowledge that women have much more difficult lives, I think this is more along the lines of what transgender people experience (constant physical and mental discomfort). But... the therapist I go to I'm pretty sure is conservative (my mother is so she picked this therapist for me), so I can't talk about it. I have no one I can talk about it to (My parents don't even let me leave the house alone). Also my sister goes to the same therapist so I'm worried my therapist might hint it to her? And also, my therapist said I have "mild depression" so I wonder if it's just that. Also I really don't think it's mild.


There are so many things I wish I could talk to someone about to let it all out, but... each thing would either

- get me admitted to a psych ward
- get someone possibly reported for something they did
- get told to my parents because I'm a minor so I don't have full confidentiality.

Sorry about the long post! If you read all this I love you so much <3

 

[RedHates]

I'm sorry about the cards you were dealt. I understand the want to not cry, even in front of people, but I think its so horrible and toxic that people make you feel like you have to hide your emotions. Being trans is one of the hardest things I have had to face, as my family is heavily conservative too. My DMs are always open if you need someone to talk to. I make it a point to never judge anyone for any reason. The only advice I have atm is to try and wait it out. I hope things go better for you in the future.

 

[ocklepold]

I'm male so I'm afraid that if someone sees a disfigured male crying, they'd feel like it's disgusting and a little funny that the cripple thinks it's worthy enough to express emotions as if it isn't subhuman.

That way of thinking is totally f'ed up and I hope you don't believe it about yourself. Sounds like you should definitely work through that with a therapist, maybe not this therapist, but someone. Just give them that sentence word-for-word. FWIW therapists see A LOT of crying, so I wouldn't be worried on that front. My suggestion is that you give it a shot with your current one, but leave out the gender issues if you don't feel safe doing that. They won't admit you to the psych ward unless you talk to them about killing yourself.

 

[AnonElipso]

You should know that there is nothing bad about crying. It requires much courage to cry in front of other people. Its totally normal that you feel uncomfortable. But if you dont talk to your therapist about it you can just speculate how it would feel like. And just because your face looks different than mine or sb elses doesnt mean your woth nothing. You are just as worthy as any other person on this world. You breathe the same air i breathe. Just because you look or act different doesnt mean your worthless. People who think like that just dont have any social skills. If I was you I would change my therapist. You dont have to tell your parents any reason. But you could just say that you are not happy with the therapy. It is important that you can talk about everything with your therapist without having to worry about anything. Else the therapy doenst make sense. You deserve to live your life as much as every other person does. Even if somebody gets reported for something they did iths the right thing. I wish you the best and feel free to ask for further help. Sry for my bad english its like 2am and i havent slept last night. Good luck!

 

[MaskedSparrow]

That way of thinking is totally f'ed up and I hope you don't believe it about yourself. Sounds like you should definitely work through that with a therapist, maybe not this therapist, but someone. Just give them that sentence word-for-word. FWIW therapists see A LOT of crying, so I wouldn't be worried on that front. My suggestion is that you give it a shot with your current one, but leave out the gender issues if you don't feel safe doing that. They won't admit you to the psych ward unless you talk to them about killing yourself.

I don't think my parents would let me switch therapists. I might just bite the bullet like you said and talk to a therapist, but I'll probably wear a mask lol

Thank you so much for responding!

 

[abidegraveside14]

i understand your nervousness to an extent. while i am not disfigured, i am a very ugly person. it feels uncomfortable to cry in front of others, knowing that you look even worse than you usually do.
i think it'd be best to ask for a different therapist if possible. if not, maybe ask if you can turn your back to them so you can cry without feeling scared about how you look? or just wear a mask like you originally thought of doing. sorry if i didn't help much, i wish you all the best.

 

[edu0z]

Hi! Sorry, I posted a few weeks ago here. I think I'm doing a little better? I think I need help. I'm a minor, and I go to therapy. The issue is, I'm disfigured facially (it's a condition). It makes it really hard to talk to people, both physically (my jaw did not properly form and my voice sounds like I'm a stereotypical mentally handicapped person) and mentally (I can't see why anyone would have any empathy for a deformed person). It's been proven countless times that people have a subconscious bias against those with disfigured faces. The worst part is, I'm so, so sensitive. I feel as if I'm going to cry almost every hour. But I wait until I get home from school, because I look more disgusting as a person when I cry.

How do I talk to my therapist about this? I can't open up about anything without crying. I'm male so I'm afraid that if someone sees a disfigured male crying, they'd feel like it's disgusting and a little funny that the cripple thinks it's worthy enough to express emotions as if it isn't subhuman. It feels so so difficult to talk about this while my therapist will be seeing my face. They'll be paying more attention to it then. Maybe I could wear a mask and glasses, and say something like "I was a little under the weather a few days ago but I'm wearing a mask just in case I'm a little contagious."

Another thing I want to talk about is that I hate being male and have done so since a very young age. I acknowledge that women have much more difficult lives, I think this is more along the lines of what transgender people experience (constant physical and mental discomfort). But... the therapist I go to I'm pretty sure is conservative (my mother is so she picked this therapist for me), so I can't talk about it. I have no one I can talk about it to (My parents don't even let me leave the house alone). Also my sister goes to the same therapist so I'm worried my therapist might hint it to her? And also, my therapist said I have "mild depression" so I wonder if it's just that. Also I really don't think it's mild.


There are so many things I wish I could talk to someone about to let it all out, but... each thing would either

- get me admitted to a psych ward
- get someone possibly reported for something they did
- get told to my parents because I'm a minor so I don't have full confidentiality.

Sorry about the long post! If you read all this I love you so much <3

I met a girl who had a lot of insecurities due to traumas in her childhood. And she always wore a covid mask. No one paid much attention to it, we thought she did it for fashion or something since she likes Korean culture. It wasn't until I got to know her that I realized, eventually she stopped using it. Couldn't you also wear a covid mask if that makes you feel less insecure? it's a start at least.

 

[Hendo]

I understand your situation, I might not be disfigured but I'm also a guy who cries really easily and I dont feel that people respect me when I'm trying to vent. I also hate my body especially my libido (probably because I'm ace). I honestly need someone to vent to and I also want to listen, feel free to pm me if you want.