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wavering thoughts

Member
Jul 30, 2025
8
I was always the smart kid, the "cool" one who had all the bitches, got good grades, was in the football team, above average looks etc.

But my mom was the one that ruined it, whenever I got bad grades (happened once or twice a blue moon) she beat me up and verbally abused me for months about it, whenever i lost a competition, even though it had nothing to do with her, she verbally abused me and called me an overconfident loser.

Anytime i told her how bad she made my life, she always brushed it off, and put on a fake act of how she loves me (as if she wasnt beating me up)

My teachers and seniors expect me to out perform everyone because I always did.

But shouldnt i be the one deciding if i should do things ?

I can do them if i try enough, but i should rest for a bit, and take things my way.

Instead I was physically and verbally abused and left alone when I needed help.

In a few days I will CBT and my mom and expectations will be the reason, I have already started giving things away, I hope nobody else has to take this path.

PEACE
 
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ctb_warrior

ctb_warrior

I wish to CTB asap
Feb 11, 2024
535
I was always the smart kid, the "cool" one who had all the bitches, got good grades, was in the football team, above average looks etc.

But my mom was the one that ruined it, whenever I got bad grades (happened once or twice a blue moon) she beat me up and verbally abused me for months about it, whenever i lost a competition, even though it had nothing to do with her, she verbally abused me and called me an overconfident loser.

Anytime i told her how bad she made my life, she always brushed it off, and put on a fake act of how she loves me (as if she wasnt beating me up)

My teachers and seniors expect me to out perform everyone because I always did.

But shouldnt i be the one deciding if i should do things ?

I can do them if i try enough, but i should rest for a bit, and take things my way.

Instead I was physically and verbally abused and left alone when I needed help.

In a few days I will CBT and my mom and expectations will be the reason, I have already started giving things away, I hope nobody else has to take this path.

PEACE
I feel really bad that an intelligent and talented individual like you had to face this situation due to your mom.
Such situations can leave a deep scar in our psyche.
May you find peace in all that you choose❤️🫂
 
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wavering thoughts

Member
Jul 30, 2025
8
I feel really bad that an intelligent and talented individual like you had to face this situation due to your mom.
Such situations can leave a deep scar in our psyche.
May you find peace in all that you choose❤️🫂
Being an atheist is really helping me because im not worried about the afterlife, i will just cease to exist.

I have 2-3 important competitions lined up but fuck them, im preparing for this weekend when ill be alone, its crazy to think how many opportunities ive missed due to her overboarding me with insults and abuse.

But finally this weekend I will find peace and everyone, my teachers, seniors and mom will find out how better i couldve turned out if they simply treated me normally.
 
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ctb_warrior

ctb_warrior

I wish to CTB asap
Feb 11, 2024
535
Being an atheist is really helping me because im not worried about the afterlife, i will just cease to exist.

I have 2-3 important competitions lined up but fuck them, im preparing for this weekend when ill be alone, its crazy to think how many opportunities ive missed due to her overboarding me with insults and abuse.

But finally this weekend I will find peace and everyone, my teachers, seniors and mom will find out how better i couldve turned out if they simply treated me normally.
Yeah religion is BS,a way to control the masses.

An atheist is thousand times better than a religious fanatic.

I have a thought though, you wanna CTB to teach them a lesson or like to punish them for what they have done to you.

Would it better if you became insensitive to what they have to say and just did what you like to do irrespective of their expectations?

I had an uncle who would always ask me frequently if I'll focus on studies and top the class in that very year. I had been a happy go lucky guy before i turned suicidal. I never used to pay heed to his words. I used to ignore him. I scored above average and that was enough for life.

I feel your life is worth more than these dumb insensitive people in your life.

With your talent in everything, I believe you will achieve great things in your life.

I'm not a proLifer, but reading through your situation makes me think it'll be a big loss to the world if you CTB because of your mom and these teachers.
 
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wavering thoughts

Member
Jul 30, 2025
8
Yeah religion is BS,a way to control the masses.

An atheist is thousand times better than a religious fanatic.

I have a thought though, you wanna CTB to teach them a lesson or like to punish them for what they have done to you.

Would it better if you became insensitive to what they have to say and just did what you like to do irrespective of their expectations?

I had an uncle who would always ask me frequently if I'll focus on studies and top the class in that very year. I had been a happy go lucky guy before i turned suicidal. I never used to pay heed to his words. I used to ignore him. I scored above average and that was enough for life.

I feel your life is worth more than these dumb insensitive people in your life.

With your talent in everything, I believe you will achieve great things in your life.

I'm not a proLifer, but reading through your situation makes me think it'll be a big loss to the world if you CTB because of your mom and these teachers.
well I really want to show them that I was worth something, until they stepped in and ruined it.

And I cant escape what they say to me,my mom isnt letting me move out, shes screaming at me as im typing this, its just abuse daily, not only verbal but physical, and that is what is leading me down this path.

I want to run away and live alone, I would be better, but my family and friends wont let that happen, I already have won a lot of things and I am doing way better than anyone my age, even earning money and I can financially support myself.

I cant really explain what my situation is, its just being trapped and not being able to do anything, my mom isnt even worried about me shes worried about how i wont be able to support her when I grow up LOL

she sees me as a money making machine who brings her pride and financial support, not as her child, its the same with my teachers, they think of me as a way to bring them pride
 
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ctb_warrior

ctb_warrior

I wish to CTB asap
Feb 11, 2024
535
well I really want to show them that I was worth something, until they stepped in and ruined it.

And I cant escape what they say to me,my mom isnt letting me move out, shes screaming at me as im typing this, its just abuse daily, not only verbal but physical, and that is what is leading me down this path.

I want to run away and live alone, I would be better, but my family and friends wont let that happen, I already have won a lot of things and I am doing way better than anyone my age, even earning money and I can financially support myself.

I cant really explain what my situation is, its just being trapped and not being able to do anything, my mom isnt even worried about me shes worried about how i wont be able to support her when I grow up LOL

she sees me as a money making machine who brings her pride and financial support, not as her child, its the same with my teachers, they think of me as a way to bring them pride
I can feel exactly what you are going through. In my growing up phase, I didn't have any freedom. I still don't have in many cases. And it's the treatment by parents that made me think of CTB.
I totally get what pain you are going through and how you are feeling suffocated at your home because of your mom and pressure from your teachers and friends.
I don't know what to say to help you find peace in the chaos. Because there's absolutely no respite for you till the point your mom is in the house.

As you said you are financially independent, what if you rebel and move out for your sake?
I don't know how feasible that would be, but if at all it is, do rebel and move out of your shackles.

They are unnecessarily destroying an intelligent talented person like you.

May you get peace in everything you choose🫂❤️
 
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