Discussion how are your parents?

[EmptyBottle]

They are usually kinda nice and reasonable... though I wish they were calmer when it came to uni stuff... at least a sibling was awesome at helping vs random accusations and past failures being brought up.

Eventually having to answer to them when I let a due date slip in year 12 out of confusion, and apathy... was the reason I attempted CTB.... for a few minutes today I wished that my attempt was successful, but after getting help from a sibling and parents calming down, stopped wishing and feel better.

 

[darksouls]

my parents are pathetic losers

 

[chudeatte]

I dont see them as parents just people I happen to be related to. father left long ago, my mother never treated me like her child only something that was a burden and a mistake

 

[jessisme]

My parents are wonderful people. Supportive, thoughtful, caring in every way and kind. They have both achieved in their lives and are respected members of the community. I have a mental illness and am a net drain. They have only ever been loving and supportive towards me in my many struggles. ai haven't been able to repay them by making any progress in my life. Instead I just sink further. I wish I could have lived up to my own expectations and made my parents proud of me. I know they say that they are proud of me for the person I am but to me that doesn't count.

 

[woodlandcreature]

Unstable. I grew up poor. They didn't want me and that was always very clear. Always fighting and they eventually broke up when I was still pretty young. Dad was out of the picture for a while (in retrospect, I believe he was having psychotic episodes that were drug/stress induced). Was never enough for my mother. I'm autistic and she hated that I wasn't like other kids. Very emotionally abusive and sometimes physically abusive (though a lot less than others I know). Both of them were pretty hands off (honestly, neglectful is more accurate). I don't remember much of by childhood, and most of the things I do remember aren't fond memories. Both sides of my family clearly are streaked with mental issues and lots of generational trauma but no one ever cared to acknowledge that. They're just evil to everyone instead. I tried to heal and better myself and look where that has gotten me. I don't care about anyone anymore and all my dreams are dead. I hope my body is soon too.

 

[death over slavery]

Biological father: stupid, useless piece of shit, deadbeat, felt like he didn't even plan to have a kid.
Biological mother: lesser of the two evils. Provides me the physical needs only, not the other aspects (emotional, psychological, etc.) Willing to take abuse from other relatives living in the house. Willing to be underpaid which she claims does not impact me. STOP THE CAP, IT DOES!

Had to build up my identity without them, which is fucked up since family upbringing and environment here is fucked. Blaming my horrible identity on them since I realized parents play a role in the personality of their children

TLDR: both biological parents are neglectful, so I don't care how they are right now

 

[Macedonian1987]

I was born in and I still live with parents who are in a loveless marriage. They never divorced because that would've been worse for both of them. My father doesn't care about my depression and my mother is so cold, she doesn't comfort me when I feel extremely sad, and she often says that somehow this depression is my fault. Whenever I try to hug her when I feel really low, she never returns the hug and says: stop hugging me, be a man, you're too old to be hugging your mother.
Worse of all, the prevent me from CTB, but I will still probably do it in a 1-2 years.

 

[Irisse]

My parents are honestly okay, but I can't forgive them for doing nothing about the abuse I endured at school. And I'm pretty sure I got beaten a few times for coming home with a grade less than an A. But they deny that. Nowdays they are pretty chill regarding my University grades, all that's important to them is that I pass my exams. But they are pretty good compared to stories I see here, although the bar is in hell.

 

[woodlandcreature]

Whenever I try to hug her when I feel really low, she never returns the hug and says: stop hugging me, be a man, you're too old to be hugging your mother.

I hope I'm not out of line when I say this, but you should never be considered "too old" to hug a parent. Especially when you're struggling. I'm sorry :-(

 

[X-sanguinate86]

Both are socially and emotionally retarded and were unable to rise above their petty selfish deficiencies after having children. Both I and sibling are destroyed people as a result. Hard not to hate them.

 

[$yck]

My dad died 14 years ago, and I genuinely believe he was the only person in my life that really loved me [which is part of the reason why I've decided to join him]. He had a lot of his own shit going on, but he never let it weigh down on me. My mom is complicated, to say the least. She's passed down the trauma that her mom gave her to me, as well as her own and refuses to acknowledge it. A lot of the stuff she says and does for me is really just shit she wish someone said and did for her, I'm grateful for it but she never really took time to learn how to love me. I've tried talking to her about it, but she kinda blows it off, it hurts a lot. I wish she actually loved me instead of the her that she sees in me. It's weird.

 

[savv]

My mother has never once demonstrated any capacity for love or compassion; she gets irate over the littlest of things and has physically and verbally abused us since childhood. Through middle school to high school, she'd use the school's web portal to check my grades and would hound me for getting any grade lower than an A. When my sib and I argued with her over her treatment of us, she would refuse to pick us up from school, and we'd have to call our dad to come get us, then she'd turn around and blame us for cutting into his work schedule. For that matter, we would get into fights constantly, where she would try to gaslight us into thinking we were actually bad kids, as if she hadn't played any part in our emotional dysfunction. When I went off to college, I showed off more of my queer side that I'd been repressing, and she was very predictably livid, hounding me numerous times to get off E and stop dressing fem, even having the audacity to hold our deceased grandfather over my head to detransition.

As for our dad, he treated us better, but he didn't do much to stave us from our mom's abuse. He stopped hitting me when I grew old enough, only threatening me at the most from then on. He's kind only insofar that he has strong confrontation avoidance, which I was unfortunate to inherit alongside my mom's short temper. The fact that he's a glaring sinophobe and antisemite is also something I can't forgive, so I don't have any allies between the either of them.

 

[Macedonian1987]

I hope I'm not out of line when I say this, but you should never be considered "too old" to hug a parent. Especially when you're struggling. I'm sorry :-(

You are not out of line at all, and i share the same opinion as you. My own mother has refused my hugs countless times and in many of those refusals i said to her: if i ever had a kid I would never reject his hugs even if im 90 years old and my kid is 70. Some people shouldn't have kids. My parents should never had me.

 

[vanillamilkshakes]

Nice people, but they shouldn't have had kids.

 

[annxietty]

I love them but I also hate them, I wish they had cared more about me.

You see your daughter decay in front of you and you do nothing, listen to her cries in the middle of the night and still sleep with no issues, your daughter tells you "mom, I dont know how to live anymore" and you reply "the fuck? go to sleep I dont have any patience for this" ...etc, I do realize they didnt have a good life, but they chose to have me, I didnt choose to be born. My childhood was "good" but now that Ive grown I realize it was full of depressive episodes, I just didnt know what was happening and thought it was normal, I thought everything was normal, the yelling, breaking things, the constant struggles to have a fucking normal family life...

I keep contact with both of them but it drains me so much, so so much... I really love them, but they dont realize just how much they ruined me.

 

[TheHolySword]

I'm lucky in a way. I have amazing parents. Never short on love and compassion. I guess that's just what makes this so much harder.

 

[martyrdom]

My father tries his best but makes a lot of mistakes, I used to clash with him often when I was well. My mother is a living saint, she is capable of love that cannot be native to human beings. But neither are capable of allowing me agency or dignity. Their love doesn't make a difference to me now, but we used to be very close.

 

[unevencompromise]

Its complicated. I grew up without a father and was raised by my mother and my grandma which are the people I most love in the whole planet. However I have a bad relationship with one of my uncles since he acts terrible with me and my mother.

 

[BrainSplatter]

I don't speak to them we've been estranged for over a year now I couldn't care less about how they are, maybe if they were dying not

 

[TransientEternal]

Love and hate relation. They say they care about me, my physical needs are met. As long as I do what they want they are good, but I feel as if they don't really care about me. They just like the idea of me that's in their head. If things don't go well my father pressures me to tell him what's wrong while I don't want to talk and my mother yells at me and guilts me. I wish I could trust them, but I can't they have already broken my trust and reacted badly to me telling my true feelings. When they tell me they love me I don't feel any affection. I don't feel like I have agency or freedom and I depend on them a lot. They also said some bad things about the LGBTQ and I don't feel like I can express/try stuff without them freaking out. Overall pretty weird, I'm unwilling to break the facade because of the comforts and things that could potentially go bad, but my affection for them is diminished at best and extreme hate at worst.

 

[Grav]

Both are dead. Dad was a pos, mom did best she could with us and him. We talked a bit before she died and were closer than before.

 

[brassicasaur]

My mum is a lovely person and always cares for me, although she won't accept that I'm not her "son" anymore.
My dad is also pretty nice, but he's found a new wife now and barely interacts with me anymore.

 

[TwistedNightmares]

Both were awful. Mom is still awful to me to this day, and I wish I could escape her, but I am trapped here. As for my "dad," I have gone no contact with him and it will remain this way.

 

[nobodycaresaboutme]

Not good but not bad. I'm traumatized by their parenting (my younger brother looks favored) but this is normal for most of parents especially when baby newly getting born and I am to blame for my own traumas. I'd be suicidal regardless of who my parents are.