Help How am I supposed to work or attend school when I’m like this

[Leve]

Genuinely how am I supposed to finish college and how am I supposed to eventually work? I only was able to make it through my sophomore year of HS without having to switch to homeschooling or online and I still had 50 or 60 absences. Every other year I had to quit. Now I'm in college and already failing because I can't even make it to class, let alone study and do homework. I've only ever had one job for a few months, and it was a battle just to make it there. How on earth am I supposed to finish college, let alone work all year round? I have no motivation and willingly sabotage myself to avoid doing anything, and even when I try to make it to stressful things, my body betrays me and makes me sick. Any of you all deal with this? How do I fix this???

 

[bpd.mess]

Are you able to attend online? That's what I do. I was originally enrolled on-campus but couldn't bring myself to go at all. I still miss the live classes, but I watch the recordings later. I'm sure most schools offer that option. When I watch the recordings, I usually just listen and take mental notes while doing things around the house or browsing online. I'm not sure if that's the ideal way to do it, but I've found it helpful.

I also keep a calendar on my desk where I write down all my assignment and quiz due dates, so it's always in front of me and easy to remember. Another thing I try to do is not focus too much on the concept of time. It sounds weird, but I try to live in the moment and focus on what I can do each day, even if it's just a little bit.

A lot of colleges also let you get extensions on assessments. For example, I know I can automatically get a three-day extension, which has been a lifesaver. My main point, though, is don't stress about how everyone else is doing things or what "the traditional path" is. It's tough with mental health, but you have to figure out what works for you, even if it's not the conventional approach. I've dropped out several times, but rn I'm in my third year, with just one to go.