Unattainable666
Enlightened
- Mar 31, 2023
- 1,346
I've been suicidal since I can remember. Tried it once -obviously failed (too young at the time). Now I'm coming to the end of my life - by choice. Nothing is going to change. I've lived the shit show forever. I don't want to be the star anymore. No family, no friends, hate life, tired of trying, hate people, ready to pack my bag and see my child again. Been without her for too long. The world we live in is cold, heartless, inhumane, selfish, senseless, hopeless. I've tried very hard to keep going, but the longer I try the worse it gets. I think about ctb all the time. ALL THE TIME. I know how I'm going, when I'm going and why I'm going. I think of all the pain that has been forced on me by others. I'll never miss that, no more bill paying, driving to work with crazy assholes, working for people who shouldn't be alive because they are so fucked and mean, no more worries, no more tears, no more stress, no more ... So glad to be going. Couple more weeks (have to make sure I have enough for my cremation) most important. End of month and that's it. Such relief. I don't really care who reads this; who misses me or who doesn't miss me. Who hated me or cared about me. None of that matters anymore. I am at a point where I feel nothing - absolutely nothing. I thank this site for being here and allowing me to put how I feel into words. I appreciate it
