Hopefully this is my last birthday

[Emerita]

I have this eerie feeling, realizing how many people know me. I'm grateful for it, but I don't feel normal about it. It's as if I know something they don't. Now, I keep thinking that when I CTB, it's going to have a ripple effect.

Mainly, I think about how superficial it all feels. I should feel a sense of connection, but instead, I just feel like all these people know me without truly knowing me. Sure, they might say "happy birthday," but what happens when I'm dead?

I know it's common for people to wish each other happy birthday, but I can't shake this feeling. I realize when I CTB, it won't be as if I was never here. People know me, and they will notice my absence. It feels almost violating. I don't want them to remember me it makes me feel icky.

 

[bobblong]

Happy birthday!!! *Firecracker noises*

 

[amomentspeace]

Happy birthday !! yippie

Mainly, I think about how superficial it all feels. I should feel a sense of connection, but instead, I just feel like all these people know me without truly knowing me.

so real

People know me, and they will notice my absence. It feels almost violating. I don't want them to remember me it makes me feel icky.

Yeah, it's hard to deal with being perceived. it's really weird and as you said, it feels violating. People will notice your absence when you're gone, but only people you've made real connections with will actually feel it, or at least that's how I perceive the world to be