HOPEFULLY soon if im not a wussy

[melonpan]

College is expensive and my parents are paying for me, I have been aware but thought maybe I'll just live a little longer .. work .. find a way to pay them back
I'm just getting impatient really

Overheard today how they missed a few months of rent not too long ago due to my hospitalisation and I think that's really just a confirmation for me to end it before I continue to parasite off them

I'm just delaying it all the time
I'll find a time
It's not that I want to die really anymore, I just feel like I have no other choice
I'm scared to live long yet I'm scared to cut it short

 

[bankai]

Overheard today how they missed a few months of rent not too long ago due to my hospitalisa

It's obvious how much they love you. You can choose. You can pay them back.

I'm sure there'll be more than happy to have you around

And if you feel that you can't be around anymore?i guess that's fine too.


Btw your username is hilarious.

 

[melonpan]

It's obvious how much they love you. You can choose. You can pay them back.

I'm sure there'll be more than happy to have you around

And if you feel that you can't be around anymore?i guess that's fine too.


Btw your username is hilarious.

Still feel like it'd be better for them without me Wasted love sort of thing

I also like your username lol Good anime

 

[bankai]

think that's really just a confirmation for me to end it before I continue to parasite off them

You're not a parasite .Most parents do love their kids. It's their privilege to provide for their child.

 

[melonpan]

You're not a parasite .Most parents do love their kids. It's their privilege to provide for their child.

Nearly every person I've spoken to shares the same sentiment yet I still feel like I am obligated to provide something back (and if not, cut myself off from them)
Honestly, it's probably because I grew up surrounded by kids in less fortunate situations— while in comparison, I was pretty spoiled especially as a younger child— that I have this mindset I think you can also understand, since you're on this site, that it's pretty hard to change someone's mind on something haha

But still, thank you
Just a reply makes it feel like at least I'm a 'real' thing or person or whatever I guess I'll choose to call myself today

 

[Life'sA6itch]

College is expensive and my parents are paying for me, I have been aware but thought maybe I'll just live a little longer .. work .. find a way to pay them back
I'm just getting impatient really

Overheard today how they missed a few months of rent not too long ago due to my hospitalisation and I think that's really just a confirmation for me to end it before I continue to parasite off them

I'm just delaying it all the time
I'll find a time
It's not that I want to die really anymore, I just feel like I have no other choice
I'm scared to live long yet I'm scared to cut it short

What's keeping you alive? Is it something that could happily keep you here longer maybe? Or, is there truly nothing that could do so? Being afraid in the ways you state perhaps is not the best reason for ctb. Maybe you could stick around a bit longer to see what you really want, whether that is living or not. Either way, the choice is no one's but yours and I hope you find peace. That is the reason we are on this site.