Hope is poison

[ringo99]

Every now and then my brain swings into a high state where it dreams up grandiose plans to get me out of the hell I'm in. For a few minutes I allow myself to think that things will improve. Then reality sets in and I feel a lot worse about myself. It destroys me one inch at a time. Hope is corrosive like concentrated acid for the soul. I just wish my fucking company would fire me already so I can finally ctb

 

[opheliaoveragain]

Can definitely relate to this. I disassociate and there's this manic upswing for a brief period, but baseline me knows that improvement is impossible given my current circumstances I've tried hard to change, so I end up back down in the same dark small place. Hope is bullshit, hope is lies sold to us by selfish assholes who don't give a fuck about true bodily autonomy

 

[Covert]

Delusional hope is the reason I'm still alive. My brain just keeps coming up with BS stories that I will somehow turn the corner soon. It's getting harder and harder to lie to myself though. I'm running out of energy to delude myself.

 

[FuneralCry]

It truly is such a cruel, painful existence where people suffer so much, I personally don't believe in any hope but I understand how it has the potential to lead to way more suffering and torment.

 

[Unknown21]

Hope is so fucking toxic, I can relate to you.

 

[Timothy7dff]

Most hope is false hope. If you do get your life turned around, the deep state will always be there to make sure you stay miserable. Maximizing misery is the goal of some of these Nazis.

 

[needthebus]

I think the same thing. I feel the same way about being fired. We probably work for the same company. Do you also make Widgets for the WidgetCo company?

 

[ringo99]

I think the same thing. I feel the same way about being fired. We probably work for the same company. Do you also make Widgets for the WidgetCo company?

No I work in India as a software engineer. The looming threat of AI and mass layoffs, meager pay and constant pressure to upskill is unbearable. I want to be fired so I can get severance pay but I'm wondering whether it's worth the mental torture to stay on until then.