Discussion Hope is fooling me again?

[Final_frontier]

Just 2 years ago, back in 2018 things were more manageable. Not great, but manageable. Then I fell into this severe depressive episode in the November of 2018. I took antidepressants in 2019 which has made me completely impotent. I've come off it for a month and my sexual function is not back.
Now I'm dealing with both severe depression and impotence.
I was just wondering, what could be my situation 2 years from now. Probably worse off, and I live day to day in pain fighting suicidality everyday to think so far ahead, but still. Could things turn around? I'm 26 years old and I think my life is over.

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

Hope isn't necessarily a bad thing. Depends on your perspective. Hope kept me alive before, and I was able to do some wonderful things. Sure, it made the "fall from grace" even harder, but I did get something good out of it. It maybe didn't change the ending, but it kept me going for a bit so I could make a difference.

I sometimes wonder if there's enough hope to keep me going until I die a natural death. I'm expecting despair to win out, though. The sliver of hope gets smaller and smaller and eventually, logic kicks in and says, "Nothing good is gonna happen. What're you waiting for?!"

 

[Deleted member 17949]

Life is scary. The possibility of my life getting worse and worse from this point is overwhelming for me. Being young doesn't make me feel better at all. Why should I believe that life is going to get better when it has gotten worse and worse for my entire life so far?

 

[TAW122]

I'm sorry to hear about your troubles over the last few years. Mine has been shitty too with ups and downs as well. I suppose to answer your question, it would be due to SI and an subconscious part of your brain that keeps holding onto something, whether it is family, movies, food, games, events, etc. Whether things can turn around is really a gamble, as it is possible for things to get better but could easily also get worse too. Ultimately, it comes to weighing your options and deciding whether you wish to stay around for a chance of things getting better or getting worse (or at best, stay roughly the same), and it's up to you to decide.

As for me, I mainly stuck around because I had a different kind of mindset or approach to life. Near the end of 2018, I acquired my method (a firearm) and for a while, I felt relieved and also courageous, being able to do things that I normally would be too chickenshit to do. It wasn't really hope in the conventional manner (at least not how I see it), but more of a assurance and insurance for myself, knowing that if things gone to shit, I can always decide to CTB myself and end my torturous existence.

Whatever you choose to do, I hope you will be able to find peace in your decision, whether it is to continue hanging on to life or ending your suffering.

 

[FrontalCortex]

It might that your sexuality returns to itself
And it might not. I am suffering from a condition called post ssri's sexual dysfunction, so yeah I'm quite familiar with what you are going through. I really advice going on low-carb diet and trying natural remedies for Depression (such as low dose ketamine/mushrooms/dtms).

Hope you'll be alright, I'm here if you have any questions.

 

[Meditation guide]

which has made me completely impotent.

There are much worse things than that although I don't mean to make light of it. Have you tried Viagra?

 

[WornOutLife]

I was talking about something like this with an user some days ago.
Our conclusion was that not matter how suicidal we are, good things and positive thinking still appear from time to time because nobody can be happy or sad for very long.

However, people who never think about or do CTB, tend to enjoy life more or are simply brainwashed by religion.

"How could I kill myself? My soul shall never rest in peace. That's for cowards." blah blah

I think most humans make an effort to "ignore" suicide because it's a "taboo" to talk about it and by ignoring that, they manage to live on. Still, suicide happens to the poor and rich, the famous and non-famous and the good and bad people.

So my conclusion and message for you would be that, as long as you can "endure" life and focus more on the positive rather than the negative life stuff, living will be probably worth for you.

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

Still, suicide happens to the poor and rich, the famous and non-famous and the good and bad people.

This is so true. Makes me wonder if some people are predisposed to feeling that way about their life.

 

[WornOutLife]

This is so true. Makes me wonder if some people are predisposed to feeling that way about their life.

I think some people are programmed to live on no matter what and rarely wonder about the afterlife, the universe, souls, everlasting consciousness, religions and so on.
Then, there are individuals like us, who are just no satisfied with the way things are and want to GTFO of here and are really curious about what the hell happens when we die.

 

[Pan]

Hope is for suckers.