Hope from therapy

[like-spoiledmilk]

This is what I wanted when I went to therapy, but I did not get this. She did that stereotypical thing, sat across from me in a small room, legs crossed, writing on a clipboard, asking "how does that make you feel". Like bitch I just spent the past 20 minutes telling you how it makes me feel. I not paying you to just have someone to vent to, I can do that to my husband for free, im paying you to tell me how to cope with this stuff. How to calm down a panic attack at work, how to respond to certain situations to keep myself calm, stuff like that. 3 visits and $800 and I was thoroughly discouraged and frustrated and quit. I've been meaning to go to a new person, preferably a psychiatrist because I think I need medication, but I live in such a small rural area. There aren't many options. I've been thinking of that Better Help online therapy I hear advertised on NPR. Has anyone tried that with any success?

I'd highly recommend you don't pursue BetterHelp. You can find more information online, but many therapists and patients have reported being mistreated by the company. I believe there was a class action suit involved (There was, over privacy concerns).

If you live in a rural area in the US, Psychology Today has a directory of therapists. In September, lots of pre-licensure grad students will do free virtual sessions with you to get their clinical hours. It's an easy way to hop around and, if you find a student you like, you might be able to stick with them after they graduate. Although, most therapists there are a lot cheaper than $200 a session (and goddamn, for that I'd expect a life changing experience). Open Path Collective is another option with cheaper rates and a wide array of telehealth options.

I wish you the best! I actually chuckled when you said "bitch I just spent the last twenty minutes telling you how I feel" because I *entirely* relate.

 

[alltoomuch2]

That sounds very practical. I've asked her for things that could help me but basically I've tried it or are unable to do it atm. (Mostly the last) Or unwilling to, I'm not above admitting that
She's a psychologist. Not sure where that falls within your system. But there is nobody higher, who sees patients on a regular base, beside a psychiatrist, who only does meds. As far as I know at least.

We talk. She asks about my week. I'm still stuck ill at home.
Then I pour out old issues and don't feel better
Not about the issues at least.
Feel better after talking because I don't have any support system and besides my cats don't really have anyone to talk to.
But after the 'I get to talk to someone who listens' wears off I hate myself for enjoying it when knowing she wouldn't if I didn't pay her for it.
Which I then rationalize and overthink while my heart says Nop. Die. And then realize I feel worse having revisited old pains as well.
Haha yeah. I'm trying to give it an unbiased try but I'm finding it harder and harder the worse I feel and the less I care.

Thanks for sharing. It's been really helpful!

I've promised myself and the MH workers that I will try my absolute hardest with whatever they suggest. But I've also promised myself and told them that if it doesn't help enough, then afterwards i will ctb. I owe myself and them that promise. I do take my promises seriously too. I use the Samaritans for unloading stuff if I have to. I use the psych nurse for his knowledge and experience to give me the tools I can use myself. Because then if I get better, I'm better equipped to deal with things in the future. But I have my ctb drawer full of stuff, in case this doesn't work. And that makes me feel better too. Knowing there is always the other option. But no rush to take that one.

 

[Eternal Eyes]

I've had four in total, two terrible, two brilliant. The first one was terrible, gaslighted me, they were employed by my school and that was the start and end of it really. The second one was very good, an art therapist mainly, probably the best listener I had ever came across. The third one was even better, a good listener, but brilliant at giving advice and honestly supporting me when I felt like I was truly alone. The fourth one I had during the lowest point of my life (2018) and they actually made my issues worse. They seemed obsessed on finding a rapid solution and moving me on ASAP. Three I had as a child, and the final one as an adult. So yeah, two of them made me really happy and feel content, and two made my issues worse. I guess therapists like doctors are a mixed bag.

The worst part is when you feel a therapist doesn't listen to you, which is exactly what my final one was like. She seemed constantly distant and vague about things.

I haven't pursued therapy since, but I want to. As I have some very powerful emotions that I need to vent off irl, and a lot of problems I don't feel comfortable telling anyone about. I'd really want a therapist with specialization in Aspergers though, as remote as that is. Honestly I'm not sure I need therapy but just someone to listen to me and not find me a weirdo/hate me.

 

[archiveofpain]

It's complicated, for me I feel so much pressure everytime I have a session, not because I feel like my current therapist will invalidate me but because I don't feel comfortable and there's this self imposed stress about having to get better. I will be thinking about what to say, how to explain it or I may feel embarrassed of sharing something. I feel like when I'm there my head goes into blank mode even though I'm suffering from multiple things but I loss words.

It's like I have this desire to be seen as a good patient and a good person to be worthy of receiving advice. I often sugarcoat or minimize problems and I leave out details that make me look bad. And because of that I leave therapy sessions kind of frustrated at myself, it doesn't help that most therapists use CBT as the golden standard and I feel it quite dull and unhelpful

 

[Arahant]

No. It doesn't help that I've known enough about therapy, from professional work and personal research, that nothing I hear is new anymore. Just someone reading from a composition of numerical lists I already have memorized.

For context, my current therapist ends our hour long sessions after 20 minutes each time. I basically do a 20 minute comedy set and leave. She said I'm close to "graduating" therapy.... but at least she also thinks I'm funny :,)

May I ask if you have an opinion on metabolic therapy for mental health disorders, as described in fx "Brain Energy"?

And are those checklists you have memorized available to the public, or perhaps something we can share in here, so people might have it as a help resource?

 

[nattanatta]

Out of the several therapists I've had over the years, the one I went to this year has been the only one who's managed to actually make me better and feel that there could still be some hope. However, for reasons that were beyond our control, I had to stop seeing him, and it has destroyed me. Absolutely done with therapy now.

 

[agony1996]

In the past seeing a therapist and being on antidepressants did help me and I actually starting enjoying life again but this is that second time everything comes crashing down on me after having high hopes so I don't hope anymore this time I know 100 % nothing will help

 

[UnrulyNightmare]

The idea of being in therapy gave me a lot of hope in the beginning. I had been trying to get help with my traumatization for several years, only to end up more traumatized by the public mental health system. I really thought it was my time, that I was finally going to "heal". Turns out it was the exact opposite. What happened in that room during those two years is what brought me here.

I'm so so sorry to hear that

Out of the several therapists I've had over the years, the one I went to this year has been the only one who's managed to actually make me better and feel that there could still be some hope. However, for reasons that were beyond our control, I had to stop seeing him, and it has destroyed me. Absolutely done with therapy now.

I'm so sorry for you!!! That's even more cruel...

I've had four in total, two terrible, two brilliant. The first one was terrible, gaslighted me, they were employed by my school and that was the start and end of it really. The second one was very good, an art therapist mainly, probably the best listener I had ever came across. The third one was even better, a good listener, but brilliant at giving advice and honestly supporting me when I felt like I was truly alone. The fourth one I had during the lowest point of my life (2018) and they actually made my issues worse. They seemed obsessed on finding a rapid solution and moving me on ASAP. Three I had as a child, and the final one as an adult. So yeah, two of them made me really happy and feel content, and two made my issues worse. I guess therapists like doctors are a mixed bag.

The worst part is when you feel a therapist doesn't listen to you, which is exactly what my final one was like. She seemed constantly distant and vague about things.

I haven't pursued therapy since, but I want to. As I have some very powerful emotions that I need to vent off irl, and a lot of problems I don't feel comfortable telling anyone about. I'd really want a therapist with specialization in Aspergers though, as remote as that is. Honestly I'm not sure I need therapy but just someone to listen to me and not find me a weirdo/hate me.

Thank you for taking the time to respond!

What does an art therapist do (differently) if I may ask?

I really hope you can find someone to talk to! Be it a specialized therapist or a friend!

In the past seeing a therapist and being on antidepressants did help me and I actually starting enjoying life again but this is that second time everything comes crashing down on me after having high hopes so I don't hope anymore this time I know 100 % nothing will help

What was the turning point for you, when you crashed?

It's complicated, for me I feel so much pressure everytime I have a session, not because I feel like my current therapist will invalidate me but because I don't feel comfortable and there's this self imposed stress about having to get better. I will be thinking about what to say, how to explain it or I may feel embarrassed of sharing something. I feel like when I'm there my head goes into blank mode even though I'm suffering from multiple things but I loss words.

It's like I have this desire to be seen as a good patient and a good person to be worthy of receiving advice. I often sugarcoat or minimize problems and I leave out details that make me look bad. And because of that I leave therapy sessions kind of frustrated at myself, it doesn't help that most therapists use CBT as the golden standard and I feel it quite dull and unhelpful

I can relate to that I think. Especially the going blank and wanting to be liked.
Does writing things down beforehand help you? (I just forget I wrote stuff down untill I'm on my way out..)

 

[revontulet]

Maybe at first I got some hope from therapy. Longer psychotherapy never started, even it was recommended. Nowadays i'm not trying to seek help from health care system. I've been depressed more than half of my life so I don't think therapy may change anything anymore. It is hard to say whether things would be different if therapy had started when I was younger.

 

[UnrulyNightmare]

Maybe at first I got some hope from therapy. Longer psychotherapy never started, even it was recommended. Nowadays i'm not trying to seek help from health care system. I've been depressed more than half of my life so I don't think therapy may change anything anymore. It is hard to say whether things would be different if therapy had started when I was younger.

I hear ya.
I wonder that sometimes as well.

 

[Rockman]

It depends on what you need to change and what you are suffering from. In my case Not at all because the therapy would not change anything my health in any way that would help me back from deep depression and doing things that make me wanna live. Cause its too late the damage is done.

If I remember correctly I think I even left the mutual admiration circle once in the psychiatric ward because in my case there was no hope.
I'm of the opinion that if their dreams come true lol, have fun. But give me a break you freaks.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

No.

My problem(s) that make me suicidal can't be cured by therapy and/or meds.

 

[UnrulyNightmare]

It depends on what you need to change and what you are suffering from. In my case Not at all because the therapy would not change anything my health in any way that would help me back from deep depression and doing things that make me wanna live. Cause its too late the damage is done.

If I remember correctly I think I even left the mutual admiration circle once in the psychiatric ward because in my case there was no hope.
I'm of the opinion that if their dreams come true lol, have fun. But give me a break you freaks.

Shit, that's harsh! You left or they made you step away?

Yeah I gotcha. Starting to realize I probably will never be able to do what I did before. Don't wanna be stuck at home ill but no therapy in the world can fix not being able to function if your body says no.

No.

My problem(s) that make me suicidal can't be cured by therapy and/or meds.

I'm sorry