Water-Lily
Enlightened
- Dec 26, 2020
- 1,193
This should probably go into recovery, but I don't feel it belongs
So, I spoke to my psychiatrist today. Of all the psychiatrists I've had so far, I feel most comfortable with her. When I talk about my feelings, suicidality, or whatever, she follows up and asks me why? Why am I feeling the way I do. Like she wants to hear about my feelings
I didn't bring up the desire to want to change/add meds. It's not something I want to engage with rn and I'd rather stick with what I'm on (Mirtazapin). I did tell her about the melt down I had yesterday and that I realize my outbursts don't come out of nowhere. That my outbursts stem from insecurity and shame/trauma. Feelings I'm still struggling with and I don't always verbalize them, which leads to issues that hurt others and myself
She asked if I'm processing in therapy, and I am. Though, I def have to tell my therapist about what happened recently
My psych put me in for another 2 months and more meds. I'm trying to keep on top but something tells me this'll be a hard and arduous battle
Especially as I make space for trauma processing which will require more resources
I know, take it one day at a time. But when you've lived a trauma filled life, I don't think it's possible to go slow
So, I spoke to my psychiatrist today. Of all the psychiatrists I've had so far, I feel most comfortable with her. When I talk about my feelings, suicidality, or whatever, she follows up and asks me why? Why am I feeling the way I do. Like she wants to hear about my feelings
I didn't bring up the desire to want to change/add meds. It's not something I want to engage with rn and I'd rather stick with what I'm on (Mirtazapin). I did tell her about the melt down I had yesterday and that I realize my outbursts don't come out of nowhere. That my outbursts stem from insecurity and shame/trauma. Feelings I'm still struggling with and I don't always verbalize them, which leads to issues that hurt others and myself
She asked if I'm processing in therapy, and I am. Though, I def have to tell my therapist about what happened recently
My psych put me in for another 2 months and more meds. I'm trying to keep on top but something tells me this'll be a hard and arduous battle
Especially as I make space for trauma processing which will require more resources
I know, take it one day at a time. But when you've lived a trauma filled life, I don't think it's possible to go slow
