goodoldnoname923

goodoldnoname923

Wanting to find peace
Mar 28, 2024
834
I can't say the past week hasn't been a hell for me…in some ways it's been an up turn actually gotten back into some gaming that I haven't done for months but along with all of that i have had my ps2 break down and scratch both GT games discs so i had to replace the lot which was alot of spontaneous walks and bus trips when my mind wasn't in the right place

My twitches and body spasms have gotten way worse i've had migraine from the level of stress i've felt my suicidal tendencies have increased somewhat dramatically i've had multiple panic attacks and emotional breakdowns over the past week

I've dealt with alot of harrassment and i'm not just including the SN shit which in hindsight i can acknowledge i brought that on myself and getting in huge trouble for a stupid post that was wrong to make ages ago…

I've been havjng alot of thoughts back to my hold friend and how i fucked up with them and worried is the guy genuine am i crazy won't go over all of that again its well documented but nevertheless

People keep suggesting therapy despite the fact i've been trying (and still am) to go to therapy paying out the ass and just making no progress at all which i'm not even blaming on them i just don't think i can honestly be fixed thats me being genuinely truthful

I make a alot of makes i fuck up a ton i even find myself feeling worse and worse i bring people down with me i make people feel shitty I don't feel save or welcome anywhere i just dk what to fucking do anymore and with each passing day it gets worse

I wanna help people i wanna be there for people but I can't even fucking take care of or help myself…i'm a mess…i'm a wreck and i just wish for once in my life i knew what to do
 
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Reactions: Praestat_Mori, lizzywizzy09 and Beyond_Repair
L

lizzywizzy09

Arcanist
May 11, 2024
463
I can't say the past week hasn't been a hell for me…in some ways it's been an up turn actually gotten back into some gaming that I haven't done for months but along with all of that i have had my ps2 break down and scratch both GT games discs so i had to replace the lot which was alot of spontaneous walks and bus trips when my mind wasn't in the right place

My twitches and body spasms have gotten way worse i've had migraine from the level of stress i've felt my suicidal tendencies have increased somewhat dramatically i've had multiple panic attacks and emotional breakdowns over the past week

I've dealt with alot of harrassment and i'm not just including the SN shit which in hindsight i can acknowledge i brought that on myself and getting in huge trouble for a stupid post that was wrong to make ages ago…

I've been havjng alot of thoughts back to my hold friend and how i fucked up with them and worried is the guy genuine am i crazy won't go over all of that again its well documented but nevertheless

People keep suggesting therapy despite the fact i've been trying (and still am) to go to therapy paying out the ass and just making no progress at all which i'm not even blaming on them i just don't think i can honestly be fixed thats me being genuinely truthful

I make a alot of makes i fuck up a ton i even find myself feeling worse and worse i bring people down with me i make people feel shitty I don't feel save or welcome anywhere i just dk what to fucking do anymore and with each passing day it gets worse

I wanna help people i wanna be there for people but I can't even fucking take care of or help myself…i'm a mess…i'm a wreck and i just wish for once in my life i knew what to do
You're in survival mode and overwhelmed. A lot of us here can relate to the feeling. I'm so sorry you're hurting.
 
goodoldnoname923

goodoldnoname923

Wanting to find peace
Mar 28, 2024
834
You're in survival mode and overwhelmed. A lot of us here can relate to the feeling. I'm so sorry you're hurting.
Yea I've definitely been snapping at alot of people lateky and been hypersensitive to alot of shit so its very possible i'm just overreacting to everything but all the same my emotions are all over the place and idrk or have anyone i feel i can go to anymore
 
L

lizzywizzy09

Arcanist
May 11, 2024
463
Yea I've definitely been snapping at alot of people lateky and been hypersensitive to alot of shit so its very possible i'm just overreacting to everything but all the same my emotions are all over the place and idrk or have anyone i feel i can go to anymore
We're always here to chat. My inbox is open if you ever want to just vent.
 
S

suicideby

After I die, I will be happy again like I used to
May 20, 2024
39
I saw a post a while ago saying you were going on a group trip to Peru to Nembutal. Do you still think about it?
 
goodoldnoname923

goodoldnoname923

Wanting to find peace
Mar 28, 2024
834
Honestly it was a hypertechical shit post i made ages ago,that I completely forgot about it. It's only basically came back to my attention today because it was in breach of rules so not really.

I'd ideally like to get N but idrk how palisable or realistic it would be
 
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Reactions: lizzywizzy09
S

suicideby

After I die, I will be happy again like I used to
May 20, 2024
39
솔직히 제가 몇 년 전에 만든 첨단 기술적인 게시물이라 완전히 잊어버렸습니다. 규칙을 위반했기 때문에 실제로는 그렇지 않았기 때문에 오늘에서야 기본적으로 주의를 기울였습니다.

이상적으로 N을 받고 싶지만 얼마나 매력적이거나 현실적일지 모르겠습니다.
저도 ppeh를보고 페루 판매처는봤습니다 그럼 평소에 고려하시던 CO로 하실건가요?
 

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