goodoldnoname923
Wanting to find peace
- Mar 28, 2024
- 834
I can't say the past week hasn't been a hell for me…in some ways it's been an up turn actually gotten back into some gaming that I haven't done for months but along with all of that i have had my ps2 break down and scratch both GT games discs so i had to replace the lot which was alot of spontaneous walks and bus trips when my mind wasn't in the right place
My twitches and body spasms have gotten way worse i've had migraine from the level of stress i've felt my suicidal tendencies have increased somewhat dramatically i've had multiple panic attacks and emotional breakdowns over the past week
I've dealt with alot of harrassment and i'm not just including the SN shit which in hindsight i can acknowledge i brought that on myself and getting in huge trouble for a stupid post that was wrong to make ages ago…
I've been havjng alot of thoughts back to my hold friend and how i fucked up with them and worried is the guy genuine am i crazy won't go over all of that again its well documented but nevertheless
People keep suggesting therapy despite the fact i've been trying (and still am) to go to therapy paying out the ass and just making no progress at all which i'm not even blaming on them i just don't think i can honestly be fixed thats me being genuinely truthful
I make a alot of makes i fuck up a ton i even find myself feeling worse and worse i bring people down with me i make people feel shitty I don't feel save or welcome anywhere i just dk what to fucking do anymore and with each passing day it gets worse
I wanna help people i wanna be there for people but I can't even fucking take care of or help myself…i'm a mess…i'm a wreck and i just wish for once in my life i knew what to do
My twitches and body spasms have gotten way worse i've had migraine from the level of stress i've felt my suicidal tendencies have increased somewhat dramatically i've had multiple panic attacks and emotional breakdowns over the past week
I've dealt with alot of harrassment and i'm not just including the SN shit which in hindsight i can acknowledge i brought that on myself and getting in huge trouble for a stupid post that was wrong to make ages ago…
I've been havjng alot of thoughts back to my hold friend and how i fucked up with them and worried is the guy genuine am i crazy won't go over all of that again its well documented but nevertheless
People keep suggesting therapy despite the fact i've been trying (and still am) to go to therapy paying out the ass and just making no progress at all which i'm not even blaming on them i just don't think i can honestly be fixed thats me being genuinely truthful
I make a alot of makes i fuck up a ton i even find myself feeling worse and worse i bring people down with me i make people feel shitty I don't feel save or welcome anywhere i just dk what to fucking do anymore and with each passing day it gets worse
I wanna help people i wanna be there for people but I can't even fucking take care of or help myself…i'm a mess…i'm a wreck and i just wish for once in my life i knew what to do