Hi, i'll be leaving very soon. see you guys on the other side.

[JustSomeoneOnline]

not quite yet but i just wiped my computer and phone of everything except chrome. cleaned up my room, wrote the suicide notes, and other final preparations. i was thinking about what else i could do and i decided that before i die im finally gonna call my dad for the first time in at least 5 years to yell at him. haha gotta do all the things i want before dying right?
thx to the ppl on this forum for being so supportive and helping me find my method for ctb. i appreciate it. it seems a bit early but ig this is my goodbye post, so goodbye everyone. ill see all of you on the other side.

(if i dont come back in a week im dead)

 

[Mxverick]

What CTB method are you using?

 

[JustSomeoneOnline]

What CTB method are you using?

full suspension

 

[Mxverick]

You have balls to chose this method

 

[CW36]

I wish you every success. I dislike my 'Dad' very much as well, but I wouldn't bother calling him. Best to leave your emotions at the door and not let anything confuse you at this stage. Focus on what you want to achieve above any point scoring.

You have balls to chose this method

It's a smart choice; a full proof method.

 

[Kerrtu]

i was thinking about what else i could do and i decided that before i die im finally gonna call my dad for the first time in at least 5 years to yell at him. haha gotta do all the things i want before dying right?

You've got strength in spades. I won't be calling my father before I CTB - it's only been over 2 years but the last "conversation" we had, he mocked my failed attempts and essentially told me to "jump off a fucking bridge".

There are times I think of what I'd say to him now but I don't have many words for him, only pain and tears.

Wishing you peace ♡

 

[CW36]

You've got strength in spades. I won't be calling my father before I CTB - it's only been over 2 years but the last "conversation" we had, he mocked my failed attempts and essentially told me to "jump off a fucking bridge".

There are times I think of what I'd say to him now but I don't have many words for him, only pain and tears.

Wishing you peace ♡

Fathers huh, who'd have em.

 

[JustSomeoneOnline]

You've got strength in spades. I won't be calling my father before I CTB - it's only been over 2 years but the last "conversation" we had, he mocked my failed attempts and essentially told me to "jump off a fucking bridge".

There are times I think of what I'd say to him now but I don't have many words for him, only pain and tears.

Wishing you peace ♡

thank you all for your advice. i already scheduled a time to talk with him, i expect him to make fun of me in every way possible but i thought i would just at least try one last time haha. i know it sounds like im desperate for any reaction from him, its cause i am. thinking about it again perhaps just a note would suffice but i hate the idea of giving him something permanent.

 

[JustSomeoneOnline]

Have you ever thinked about killing you father and then CTB?

god all the time, thats the reason i stayed alive for so long but at this point...
I just called him too, instant regret. he just did the typical blame game, blamed me and my mom and kept laughing the entire time and a lot of other things. yeah i should have taken the advice ig...

 

[sadloner]

god all the time, thats the reason i stayed alive for so long but at this point...
I just called him too, instant regret. he just did the typical blame game, blamed me and my mom and kept laughing the entire time and a lot of other things. yeah i should have taken the advice ig...

i relate to this so hard, both my parents are/were abusive narcissists. its not even worth it to yell at them honestly because theyre all incapable of accepting theyve done anything wrong, and theyll just start yelling at you back and youll crawl right back into the shell of fear, which really sucks. but hey, at least we'll be safe from them and their torment when we're gone. good luck op. i hope you find peace forever.

 

[Kerrtu]

Have you ever thinked about killing you father and then CTB?

When I first read this question, which wasn't asked of me therefore I kept my thoughts to myself, I thought if I were to kill my father, I might not kill myself. And the other irony, of my father being such a violent person, compared to myself (I choose the pen over the pistol)…it would be almost a full circle trajectory.

Anyhow - the damage is done, as they say. I know I will never look in my fathers eyes again, I will never hear his rage again (maybe in a nightmare, but not in real time). That's my main form of self-care since that last call; keeping myself away from him and changing my number (not that he'd call me, but still).

I used to wonder why, why does he hate me so much? Just tell me why? Give me something to work with…anything, but no. He hates himself and likely sees me as an extension of himself, not me as my own person. Even then, if he did recognize me as an individual, he'd have awful things to say.

There's no winning with narcissists.

 

[Zegers]

I will wipe my laptop and phone as well. But i will not leave notes, theres a family whatsapp group and maybe i will say something there, like a goodbye, that's all.

May we find wellness

 

[Sixela Nosho]

god all the time, thats the reason i stayed alive for so long but at this point...
I just called him too, instant regret. he just did the typical blame game, blamed me and my mom and kept laughing the entire time and a lot of other things. yeah i should have taken the advice ig...

i was wondering if you may still be alive, i have no idea when you may or may not commit, but i am here for you to talk to even if you still plan on doing it, sometimes its nice for someone to hear your story, i will not judge, i am simply here in the case where you may want to vent and talk about how you may feel, remember, i am not forcing you to, and i kmow that whatever i may or may not say will change your mind, and that's not what i plan to do, i am simply if you want your stiry to ge heard

 

[Meditation guide]

god all the time, thats the reason i stayed alive for so long but at this point...
I just called him too, instant regret. he just did the typical blame game, blamed me and my mom and kept laughing the entire time and a lot of other things. yeah i should have taken the advice ig...

Sorry you have a jerk for a dad! He's toxic, best to recognize he will never change. It's like trying to get blood from a stone. Lots of us get families that screw us up, me included.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I wish you all the best with your plan! May you find peace & freedom! Safe travels! Good luck!

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope that when the time is right for you to leave, you find the freedom you search for, best of luck.

 

[TorturedSoul999]

I hope that when you exit that you have peace in heaven. I feel that God does not feel anger towards his children who choose to go out this way. It's a world full of suffering and suicide is just one of the many ways to die. It's an illness. My psychotic episode that took me away from my loved one as it caused me to suspect them of doing things I didn't do is what brought me here.

 

[Cute_&_Loving]

I know I'm gonna sound like such a cliche but I always mean it when I say that I'm very sorry it came to this point for you......
And I'm sorry your father is such an asshole...... and things suck so much for you.......
And if it's what you really want, then godspeed....... and good luck..... Hopefully things will go as smoothly as possible for you........

 

[FindingHome]

I wish you all the best. I hope you find peace!