I don't want to deceive my parents, sorry. Please stop encouraging me to end my life, my parents are not happy about it.
I don't think that's what
@OnlyTheWind meant by their comment at all. I don't want to put words in anybody's mouth, but I personally just interpreted it as a suggestion/potential solution, should you want to go.
I understand not wanting to disrespect your parents, especially under their roof, but if you're on this site then I assume you're an adult who can make their own decisions. If you don't want to live anymore, then that's your choice. People can object to it and/or try to hinder it – and they will – but at the end of the day it's your life, your suffering and your choice, whether other people are happy about it or not. That's just how I see it.
If recovery is the route you're going to go, then I sincerely wish you all the best with that.