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plsimnotokay

plsimnotokay

I just keep telling myself it’ll be alright
Jun 6, 2022
49
It's not impulsive. I've been planning this for so long now. I feel ready but I'm also anxious. I'm afraid. Please reassure me it's going to be okay and after I won't be in anymore pain and I'll find peace. I'll be using SN method.
 
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K

KevG

Member
Jan 4, 2022
21
It's not impulsive. I've been planning this for so long now. I feel ready but I'm also anxious. I'm afraid. Please reassure me it's going to be okay and after I won't be in anymore pain and I'll find peace. I'll be using SN method.
I wish you a painless exit. Once you're gone there will be no more pain. I hope to join you soon.
 
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September5th

September5th

You can get better. But the choice is always ours.
May 17, 2022
244
I can't tell you to go ahead with it, but if that's what you want, good luck. Hope you have the right materials to go with, as it will easy some of the discomfort... Enjoy freedom.
 
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plsimnotokay

plsimnotokay

I just keep telling myself it’ll be alright
Jun 6, 2022
49
I wish you a painless exit. Once you're gone there will be no more pain. I hope to join you soon.
Thank you so much my friend.
I can't tell you to go ahead with it, but if that's what you want, good luck. Hope you have the right materials to go with, as it will easy some of the discomfort... Enjoy freedom.
Thank you so much. I know you have commented on my other posts and I always appreciated it. I don't have an AE but I have the other things. I'll be keeping everyone updated.
All my life I've felt like a coward for carrying on for so long. I want to be brave. I have to be brave. It'll be the best thing I'll do for myself. Why do I have to be so scared? But I can't continue living like this. I am in so much pain, desperate for relief.
 
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Zegers

Zegers

Enlightened
Dec 15, 2021
1,758
I think with SN the AE is strongly recommended.

Have you been drinking water with a lot of salt for several days to get used to it?
 
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plsimnotokay

plsimnotokay

I just keep telling myself it’ll be alright
Jun 6, 2022
49
I think with SN the AE is strongly recommended.

Have you been drinking water with a lot of salt for several days to get used to it?
Yes I read it is super important.. but I haven't been able to get any. I will prepare two glasses and drink the second one immediately if I vomit . No I haven't been drinking water with salt to get used to it. I didn't know that was part of procedure but it sounds like a good way to prepare the body.
 
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Lost in a Dream

Lost in a Dream

He/him - Metal head
Feb 22, 2020
1,804
I'm sorry you weren't able to get the anti emetics and that life has forced you into a situation where you can't pick the day you want. If the SN works for you, then I hope things go smoothly and that you don't suffer at all.

I don't know what to say that might help you to feel less afraid though. I'm afraid too, which is why I'm still here unfortunately. Wishing you the best.
 
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plsimnotokay

plsimnotokay

I just keep telling myself it’ll be alright
Jun 6, 2022
49
I'm sorry you weren't able to get the anti emetics and that life has forced you into a situation where you can't pick the day you want. If the SN works for you, then I hope things go smoothly and that you don't suffer at all.

I don't know what to say that might help you to feel less afraid though. I'm afraid too, which is why I'm still here unfortunately. Wishing you the best.
Thank you for your kind words. I hope it will be as painless as possible too. I'm prepared to feel some pain but scared I will suffer for a while before finally passing out. I wish it wasn't so difficult.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
42,488
I'm sorry for all the suffering that has brought you to this point. Life is so cruel and unfair. I wish you relief from pain in whatever happens.
 
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MsMaudlin

MsMaudlin

This is the fierce last stand of all I am
Dec 8, 2019
875
I'm sorry that you feel that this is the only option for you.
I plan to CTB tomorrow too, feel free to message if you like.
I hope your path is smooth whichever direction you take.

 
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born2win

born2win

Time is a flat circle
Jun 5, 2022
159
I'm sorry that you feel that this is the only option for you.
I plan to CTB tomorrow too, feel free to message if you like.
I hope your path is smooth whichever direction you take.

hey whats your method? i plan to go to this June or hopefully July. Im just delaying things, delaying the proverbial inevitably. Im pretty sure we have the same headspace mindset whatever it is. I can feel you too, it feels nice to reach out even though we'll be going alone as oppose to birthing surrounded by people. We'll be simply going back to nothingness. Just wanna say, i feel you. and i wanna know what are you feeling knowing youre going tomorrow? i know ill feel it too 24hrs prior.
 
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September5th

September5th

You can get better. But the choice is always ours.
May 17, 2022
244
Thank you so much. I know you have commented on my other posts and I always appreciated it. I don't have an AE but I have the other things. I'll be keeping everyone updated.
All my life I've felt like a coward for carrying on for so long. I want to be brave. I have to be brave. It'll be the best thing I'll do for myself. Why do I have to be so scared? But I can't continue living like this. I am in so much pain, desperate for relief.
I get you. I'm in a similar place, though not as close to actually doing it as you.
There some circumstances in which keep living is just torture. Why force yourself to keep going when you're done and prepared to go? Doesn't really make much sense, if you think about it.
I hope you're relieved from your pain. Desperation is truly horrific. Just today I almost went nuts on college because of the sheer amount of distaste for life that I'm experiencing. It isn't pleasant and you're a hero for living with it so long.
 
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plsimnotokay

plsimnotokay

I just keep telling myself it’ll be alright
Jun 6, 2022
49
I'm sorry that you feel that this is the only option for you.
I plan to CTB tomorrow too, feel free to message if you like.
I hope your path is smooth whichever direction you take.

I have seen your other posts and know you are such a kind soul. I'm sorry life has brought you to this point as well. Can I ask what time you'll be taking the SN?
hey whats your method? i plan to go to this June or hopefully July. Im just delaying things, delaying the proverbial inevitably. Im pretty sure we have the same headspace mindset whatever it is. I can feel you too, it feels nice to reach out even though we'll be going alone as oppose to birthing surrounded by people. We'll be simply going back to nothingness. Just wanna say, i feel you. and i wanna know what are you feeling knowing youre going tomorrow? i know ill feel it too 24hrs prior.
It's strange for me. Feeling ready and also scared. Scared because I'm human I think
I get you. I'm in a similar place, though not as close to actually doing it as you.
There some circumstances in which keep living is just torture. Why force yourself to keep going when you're done and prepared to go? Doesn't really make much sense, if you think about it.
I hope you're relieved from your pain. Desperation is truly horrific. Just today I almost went nuts on college because of the sheer amount of distaste for life that I'm experiencing. It isn't pleasant and you're a hero for living with it so long.
College is so hard especially with all the other hardships life adds on top of it. I was in school and took a gap year but ended up not going back. I was supposed to go back this fall but I can't keep going any longer. I hope that once school is over for you, you will feel less pressured as it'll be one stress off your shoulders. You're a hero too my friend!! Thank you so much for that.. we have endured for so long and that makes us strong.
 
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Huntfish34

Huntfish34

Enlightened
Mar 13, 2020
1,619
I would love to reassure you that there will be no pain and that you'll be in peace.... But with those very questions/ reasons I'm afraid to CTB myself ( gun to my head ). Idk... Just can't bring myself to pull the damn trigger even though I would really like to. Fml. -.

Thoughts and prayers to you in whatever you may decide.
 
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MsMaudlin

MsMaudlin

This is the fierce last stand of all I am
Dec 8, 2019
875
I have seen your other posts and know you are such a kind soul. I'm sorry life has brought you to this point as well. Can I ask what time you'll be taking the SN?

It's strange for me. Feeling ready and also scared. Scared because I'm human I think

College is so hard especially with all the other hardships life adds on top of it. I was in school and took a gap year but ended up not going back. I was supposed to go back this fall but I can't keep going any longer. I hope that once school is over for you, you will feel less pressured as it'll be one stress off your shoulders. You're a hero too my friend!! Thank you so much for that.. we have endured for so long and that makes us strong.
I'm going to be taking it around 9 am
 
plsimnotokay

plsimnotokay

I just keep telling myself it’ll be alright
Jun 6, 2022
49
I would love to reassure you that there will be no pain and that you'll be in peace.... But with those very questions/ reasons I'm afraid to CTB myself ( gun to my head ). Idk... Just can't bring myself to pull the damn trigger even though I would really like to. Fml. -.

Thoughts and prayers to you in whatever you may decide.
Thank you so much. We are only human my friend. It is normal fears. You are strong for enduring this long.
 
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O

outrider567

Visionary
Apr 5, 2022
2,824
Thank you for your kind words. I hope it will be as painless as possible too. I'm prepared to feel some pain but scared I will suffer for a while before finally passing out. I wish it wasn't so difficult

I'm in the US. My time right now is 5:19pm What time zone are you in?
She's in the UK, 5 hours ahead of EST
 
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Zegers

Zegers

Enlightened
Dec 15, 2021
1,758
There is no point in going on with a life you dislike and it is not in any way the way you would like it to be but ctb is not easy either. In my case i have dragged it out for a long time hoping things would get better but it just keeps getting worse and i feel more and more devoured by loneliness and emptiness, i guess i just need a few more months.

I hope you will be successful.
 
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