Hesitant as bf is full of rage and worried he will murder

[Alwaysbadtime]

I'm afraid my bf will murder someone/people in a rage if I off myself. This was already a concern as he mentioned he would perhaps lose it and kill if shit really goes bad etc. There's a current bad conflict with a neighbor and he has said multiple times he feels like killing him. I was planning to go pretty soon but now feel scared as I don't want him to do anything violent. I don't want him to lose the dogs, lose everything and be imprisoned. Even if I didn't off myself I sense this situation escalating with neighbor.

This really really fucking sucks. It's like I am a prop forced to listen to his rants and I know it's going to be devastating for me to off myself for him. He is very disinfrancized and I am really fucking pissed and worried.

I know it sounds unlikely or implausible....but I really sense shit going wrong. As if my existence wasn't already miserable now I have this to worry about.

I'm feeling really paranoid to even post this. No cops do not need to be called. This is all just talk right now. Omg...and Family Guy is on again...every night...every day....

 

[summers]

@Alwaysbadtime trust me, he won't. Maybe he would get into a fight, but that's about it. Don't worry about your neighbor. If your bf were going to kill him, he would be dead already - no need to talk about it.

Sounds like your bf is immature, all talk no action.

Still, hope you don't ctb until you are ready, and not due to some outside influence.

Edit - if I had a fued with a neighbor that couldn't be settled, I would just move. That's what adults do. We don't threaten to kill or harm someone. That's childish.

 

[slyna]

@Alwaysbadtime trust me, he won't. Maybe he would get into a fight, but that's about it. Don't worry about your neighbor. If your bf were going to kill him, he would be dead already - no need to talk about it.

Sounds like your bf is immature, all talk no action.

Still, hope you don't ctb until you are ready, and not due to some outside influence.

Edit - if I had a fued with a neighbor that couldn't be settled, I would just move. That's what adults do. We don't threaten to kill or harm someone. That's childish.

Sorry but you can't talk like that.
You have no idea who this person is.

You would be surprised how people can shift

 

[summers]

Sorry but you can't talk like that.
You have no idea who this person is.

You would be surprised how people can shift

Actually, I do. And I've only ever seen hotheads get into fights or beat up their gf's/wives.

It's the people who don't make a scene that go off and just knock on the door and blow the guy's brains out.

 

[Midgardsorm]

It's a tricky situation you have there. I would say that it's not safe to be around him, but I guess I understand you.

We embrace death ...for ourselves, not to others, so be careful, your neighbor might be in danger and so do you (Wanting to ctb or not).
I know you don't want to involve cops in this but I would advise you to do it if you think your bf might do something.

Sorry, this situation is making your days very tense and from what you already wrote here, you were already having problems.
I guess there will be no easy way to solve this, but our lives were never easy to begin with.

Be careful.

 

[Alwaysbadtime]

Actually, I do. And I've only ever seen hotheads get into fights or beat up their gf's/wives.

It's the people who don't make a scene that go off and just knock on the door and blow the guy's brains out.

You don't know my bf or his history of violence. I can appreciate your opinion but you aren't in the situation.

We embrace death ...for ourselves, not to others, so be careful, your neighbor might be in danger and so do you (Wanting to ctb or not).
I know you don't want to involve cops in this but I would advise you to do it if you think your bf might do something.

He hasn't done anything. There's nothing law enforcement can do and frankly I don't want to involve assholes to make things worse. I'm just lying low and biding my time. It's very obvious this is entirely negative and depressing.

 

[summers]

@Alwaysbadtime did you know his history of violence when you got with him?

 

[Alwaysbadtime]

@Alwaysbadtime did you know his history of violence when you got with him?

Not entirely. I needed saving. He is not an outright violent asshole...he suffered childhood violent abuse and neglect and then was attacked and defended himself and accused along with perhaps another bar fight or two and now has lifelong felonies that make it so he can never get a decent job. He is filled with rage by this.

Every story is different and every man. It's a tragedy. I don't want to talk about it anymore.

 

[summers]

Not entirely. I needed saving. He is not an outright violent asshole...he suffered childhood violent abuse and neglect and then was attacked and defended himself and accused along with perhaps another bar fight or two and now has lifelong felonies that make it so he can never get a decent job. He is filled with rage by this.

Every story is different and every man. It's a tragedy. I don't want to talk about it anymore.

Thank you for sharing. I agree with you 100% don't involve the cops. As with those bar fights, they do nothing but fuck people over.

I can't stand cops. I think they should all be replaced with private security, along with correction officers. As it stands, there is virtually no accountability.

 

[Makko]

There will never be perfect conditions to commit suicide. If you keep holding out for something like that you'll simply die of natural causes before it comes.

 

[slyna]

Not entirely. I needed saving. He is not an outright violent asshole...he suffered childhood violent abuse and neglect and then was attacked and defended himself and accused along with perhaps another bar fight or two and now has lifelong felonies that make it so he can never get a decent job. He is filled with rage by this.

Every story is different and every man. It's a tragedy. I don't want to talk about it anymore.

OK So basically you think you are saving him?

 

[CleosAsp]

I'm so sorry you've got all this on your plate!

Can you take the dogs and leave? Is there someplace you can go? That gives you time to decide with a calm mind if and when you want to ctb. Can you warn your neighbor?

 

[Alwaysbadtime]

OK So basically you think you are saving him?

I feel like I am providing him company so he can talk non-stop to someone. I fear for his future....and mine...He has made it clear off and on that I am not needed so I should just do what I want and go. He is currently working a shitty construction job and I feel like if I go during it he won't be able to continue it. I think once he finishes and is back to video games and daily Family Guy and farting I will then make my exit. I really feel sorry for him and his circumstances and this neighbor conflict exacerbates my fears of him even more destroying his life.

 

[summers]

There will never be perfect conditions to commit suicide. If you keep holding out for something like that you'll simply die of natural causes before it comes.

Idk about that - I think a clear warm night, full moon, sound of the waves. I'd be good to go in that case.

 

[Alwaysbadtime]

I'm so sorry you've got all this on your plate!

Can you take the dogs and leave? Is there someplace you can go? That gives you time to decide with a calm mind if and when you want to ctb. Can you warn your neighbor?

I hate the neighbor. They have a flag that says Fuck you etc etc etc.

If it were that easy or ideal to leave him I would have already. Thanks.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Sigma male grindset incarnate.

 

[Makko]

Idk about that - I think a clear warm night, full moon, sound of the waves. I'd be good to go in that case.

Not if you think that that the consequences of your going on others are an obstacle.

 

[summers]

Not if you think that that the consequences of your going on others are an obstacle.

Fair enough... But really, if you're going to off yourself, you can be a little selfish and say fuck it, let them deal with their own problems.

This truly sums up how I will feel when I'm headed to the bus stop:

 

[slyna]

I feel like I am providing him company so he can talk non-stop to someone. I fear for his future....and mine...He has made it clear off and on that I am not needed so I should just do what I want and go. He is currently working a shitty construction job and I feel like if I go during it he won't be able to continue it. I think once he finishes and is back to video games and daily Family Guy and farting I will then make my exit. I really feel sorry for him and his circumstances and this neighbor conflict exacerbates my fears of him even more destroying his life.

Why is a construction job "shitty" ? Well, nvm actually. I understand you're both overweight? I have no more questions.

 

[Makko]

Fair enough... But really, if you're going to off yourself, you can be a little selfish and say fuck it, let them deal with their own problems.

That's the point of my original post.

 

[slyna]

Fair enough... But really, if you're going to off yourself, you can be a little selfish and say fuck it, let them deal with their own problems.

This truly sums up how I will feel when I'm headed to the bus stop:

holy s thats a bad song XDDDDD

 

[doesntevenmatter]

IF he's going to go through with something, it isn't going to be because you CTB. He has his own issues and is threatening this while you're still here. You can't stay just so that he doesn't do something crazy, because believe me he'll do it anyways if he's going to. That being said, you obviously shouldn't CTB if it isn't something you're ready for. In the same token, though, you shouldn't force yourself to be miserable just because of something he might do. At the end of the day it doesn't have anything to do with you, just like if you CTB there isn't really anything he can do about it either. I wish you both peace in whatever you decide.

 

[Donk]

You are stuck between a rock and a hard place. If you decide to CTB then I suggest leaving a note for the purpose of alerting authorities. Based on your assessment of your bf a warning to the police is warranted to prevent him from harming others. Sorry you're stuck in this situation.

 

[Alwaysbadtime]

You are stuck between a rock and a hard place. If you decide to CTB then I suggest leaving a note for the purpose of alerting authorities. Based on your assessment of your bf a warning to the police is warranted to prevent him from harming others. Sorry you're stuck in this situation.

There's no prevention when it is just talk. I would never incriminate him to assholes who can't do shit.

Why is a construction job "shitty" ? Well, nvm actually. I understand you're both overweight? I have no more questions.

It's a roofing job and he is over 40. He is not overweight. It's incredibly physical and he has injured himself.

 

[Worndown]

This sounds like a situation with no safe resolution. Has he sought help for his issues? You are currently keeping him functioning along with dealing with your own life. I wish you the best.

 

[Lifeless mindset]

@Alwaysbadtime did you know his history of violence when you got with him?

Okay Mr. Know it all

 

[summers]

Okay Mr. Know it all

That was a genuine question, Mr. Keyboard Warrior.

 

[orangepotato]

There will never be perfect conditions to commit suicide. If you keep holding out for something like that you'll simply die of natural causes before it comes.

This is actually great advice. Thanks, I needed to hear this. I've delayed my suicide over the silliest things like "I can't kill myself now, work is relying on me to finish a project by next week" or "I can't do it today, I'm supposed to see my sister next month." There never will be a "perfect" time to commit suicide.