Here we go

[Kibblesummer]

Well you are trying to cheer people up then, that's not an evil thing to do. Why do you consider yourself an evil being if I might ask?

Because I have constant thoughts about hurting and killing everybody I see family friends strangers I used to act on them now I don't I mean I'm still verbally aggressive but I don't get physical anymore but I still have those urges and thoughts and my main reason to end my life is to make sure that I never hurt or kill anybody again

Well you are trying to cheer people up then, that's not an evil thing to do. Why do you consider yourself an evil being if I might ask?

also I was saying I was a hypocrite cuz I tried to cheer people up when I can't even cheer myself up same thing with suicide I try to deter people from suicide but I want to die and I tried to kill myself

 

[a.n.kirillov]

Because I have constant thoughts about hurting and killing everybody I see family friends strangers I used to act on them now I don't I mean I'm still verbally aggressive but I don't get physical anymore but I still have those urges and thoughts and my main reason to end my life is to make sure that I never hurt or kill anybody again

That is a very noble motive if it's truly why you want to do this.

Have you ever been to therapy or talked with someone about these thoughts?

 

[Kibblesummer]

That is a very noble motive if it's truly why you want to do this.

Have you ever been to therapy or talked with someone about these thoughts?

I've been in therapy and on meds since age 5 nothing has helped yet so I must be a tlc

 

[a.n.kirillov]

I've been in therapy and on meds since age 5 nothing has helped yet so I must be a tlc

I see. A tlc?

You said you still have family and friends? If yes how are your relationships to them?

You can also PM or stop answering if I'm annoying you or getting too personal.

 

[Living sucks]

I've been in therapy and on meds since age 5 nothing has helped yet so I must be a tlc

If your concern is your own actions, only you can control those actions. If you care about people show how much you care instead of being aggressive. I don't know how much would help but maybe trying EDMR or hypnosis therapy? You have thoughts of harming people but you stated you don't want to so you have rational thought and control. I am pro choice but also believe all options should be explored first. Also I'm assuming you are still young. These things may change with age? A feeling of self worth is important to every human being.

 

[a.n.kirillov]

Because I have constant thoughts about hurting and killing everybody I see family friends strangers I used to act on them now I don't I mean I'm still verbally aggressive but I don't get physical anymore but I still have those urges and thoughts and my main reason to end my life is to make sure that I never hurt or kill anybody again

also I was saying I was a hypocrite cuz I tried to cheer people up when I can't even cheer myself up same thing with suicide I try to deter people from suicide but I want to die and I tried to kill myself

But then many social workers, therapists, doctors, artists, parents are also hypocrites. Don't you know this stereotype of the selfless depressed hero?

You don't need to encourage people's wish to suicide, and you can try to deter or talk them out of it, there's nothing wrong with that. Only not respecting their wish would be wrong.

 

[Kibblesummer]

I see. A tlc?

You said you still have family and friends? If yes how are your relationships to them?

You can also PM or stop answering if I'm annoying you or getting too personal.

Tlc means total lost cause
My friends aren't really my friends they're my house mates my relationship with them is do what they ask and be quiet I kinda have to cause they're my elders
My family relationships are unstable to say the least
It's almost time if I stop responding I hope y'all find your path a path you deserve not one you don't(suicide)
I swallowed a cup

 

[a.n.kirillov]

Well friend, all I can say is good luck. I hope you will find peace either way.

 

[Hopeindeath!]

I wish you peace.

 

[Living sucks]

If you survived please let us know, if not I hope you are at peace

 

[Shu]

Swallowed a cup? Damn rip