I've been planning my CBT for a while and two days ago my best friend attempted and is now in the hospital. My sisters birthday is also next week. Now I have no idea when to CBT, if I do it now my friend will blame herself and not heal, if I do it after I will disrupt her healing. I'm so stuck. I need to CBT because I cannot live with the guilt of things I did as a child. I have no idea when is a good time, I know I need to CBT. I just don't know when.
this may sound selfish, but after you succeed, anything else that happens won't be your problem anymore. you can't feel guilty if you're gone
The effect your CBT would have on others is legitimate. Even if you're not here to feel guilty, they will still be, as will the effects your CTB would have on them. Feeling that concern also says something about your character. In a world that seems increasingly calloused and selfish (whether that's true or whether it just seems so because we have much more access to information than we used to) caring about others is something the world needs more of. I don't know what you did in your childhood that's created the guilt you feel, but expressing concern for others sounds like you've changed for the better. What's been done can't be undone, even by your CBT, but as long as you're alive, you still have the chance to forgive yourself even if you need the help of therapy to get there.
