Please help me, ive been suicidal since i was 12 (I'm 18) I've said multiple times to my brother and my mum that i want to kill myself. They never believe me. They always take my mums word over mine and tell me if I will do it. I'm done. My brother is a C*** (im from a low class in England so if anyone relates please reply) no One around believes in mental health, especially my mum. I try but she makes fun of me and just says get on with it. I say Im Not well and say that I should just get on with it and my school takes me out of my curriculum (I was 11-16 High school but for British it's secondary, also if I wrote curriculum incorrect I'm sorry I'm British and we don't have that ) I wrote a suicidal note but no one around me cares even if I express Myself. My boyfriend has mild anxiety and mild autism, so I can't even talk to him when I talk to him because he just thinks his problems are worse than mine. . I just want someone to talk to or express to me, should I take my life? I'm very suicidal , but have 0 courage to kms. I want to die , but also if anyone has anything to read from this and think that I shouldn't please tell me where I'm wrong.
jaxxon_sunn
Un jour je serai de retour près de toi
- May 10, 2023
- 98
If you are scared, or panicking, or have doubts, I don't think you should take your life. It's a decision you have to be certain about, and have planned. You have to be sure this is the last resort you have. I think for you, try to find someone to talk to. You can vent here, and people will offer advice or support. It sounds like you haven't gone to the doctors/ a therapist about this? I'd say you can try going to one when u are able. Don't make any impulsive decisions. I know doctors aren't very trustworthy/ try to push certain medications/help onto people, but I think it would be worth it for you if u haven't at least tried. I believe ctb is the last resort.
Personally, I think you should take a deep breath and try to calm down. Suicide isn't something you just "do". I would recommend getting clearer on your situation. There may be better ways of handling it. I'm not dismissing your pain, but from reading your post, you don't seem like someone who wants to take their life but is just being ran ragged by certain situations and people in your life. Above all, calm down, think, and get clarity with your situation.
Good luck to you.
Good luck to you.
Slow down and breathe. Maybe write things down. Suicide is something done of a clear choice. Right now it may seem like a possibility but it requires planning and clarity. It is not something to be done as a reaction. I know you are hurting really bad. Awhile ago when I was hurting and had no one to talk to I went out on a trail and talked to the trees. I felt better letting it out. Blessings in finding peace.
MusicGuy
We're just another statistic
- May 28, 2023
- 118
Im sorry you're feeling this way, if you're not entirely sure you want to CTB, you should try other options, look for someone to speak to, it could be a friend, even someone you don't know irl. If you feel that it can help you, you could try getting assistance from doctors. Hope you find the peace you deserve
The only thing is I love my boyfriend, but he makes me feel not mentally sick enough to be valued, I've been abused and even told to kms by my own ,mother, the urge is there everyday and I want to , but I feel like I shouldn't just because of my past troubles, I know I'm young, I have my life ahead of me , but as we all know sometimes we all think It's then end and we will have nothing. In my country I have hardly any education, work in bar where men perv on me (I'm a women btw) and where people invalid me to my day to day life , in the end the only thing keeping me alive is my dog, and I have Never went to therapy or anything, I live with my mum and she's against that whole thing, and I can't afford to move out at all! So I'm so stuck because I want to hang myself.
I try that, I don't have any friends except my bf, who thinks his problems are Way worse than mine, so I don't get much help, I'm scared to get help incase my mum disowns me and makes me homeless, she's and 80's english gypsy, so it's hard to knock sense into her. But it's been breaking me down since I was was 12.
Mord.
Member
- May 6, 2023
- 70
It's like you said, no one it's listening to your problems and how you are feeling and that's frustrating. When it comes to comitting suicide the less doubts you have the better, so if you don't feel sure about it don't push it. I you feel like you want to vent feel free to dm me, also there is a lot of people here that will listen to you whenever you want to vent.
I just wish I had someone, I once had many people, but I went down many bad mental health paths and blocked most of them, I only have my boyfriend and you might have seen in many replies doesn't listen to me because he thinks his problems are worse which is frickin me up more, I just want someone on a similar level, I think I do have autism and bpd, but have a lot of symptoms that Line up with both of them. I'm not self diagnosing but it's the close I can do as I will be homeless is I get a doctors appointment as my mum is a freak and has access to everything up until to time I move out, which will be a long time as I don't earn enough
That's the only thing, I'm very new to this site so not sure How to work it, but I just want someone to understand and give me advice or even talk to me , if u can just help me to dm directly and not be public id be very appreciative!
Last edited:
jaxxon_sunn
Un jour je serai de retour près de toi
- May 10, 2023
- 98
Your environment sounds very stifling/ suffocating. I definitely don't think just because you are young, doesn't mean you can't feel this way. You've been through a whole lot so I understand. I got my first job at age 18, been completely reliant on my parents until I can save enough to move out. My parents have been awful to me my whole life. But I feel if you are able to save and move out, you can get away from the abusive. You can start new and find people and friends that support you. Life is so hard, but there are opportunities you wouldn't have known if you don't try.
People here are willing and able to help. I think you need at least 20 something comments before someone can direct message you. You can comment in the off topic forums or reply to any thread you would like to increase your messages.
Last edited:
To me if feels like it never ends , all my friends are moving out or starting uni, and I'm just stuck, and in a way my mum has wanted this , a lot of people have said my has shielded me away and spoiled me to keep me as close as she possibly could. I just wish I had a way out and the only thing stopping me is my bloody dog. I have no fuTure. No motivation to education. If I could I would I just rot in my room.
thechamp
I Love Life - Nihilism Is Retarded
- May 26, 2023
- 18
It'd be best for you to leave the relationship imho. A man ranting about his problems to his gf is silly and you don't need it. If you're just not happy in the relationship, you shouldn't be in it. And god bless your heart.
I don't mind me telling his problems , but he uses the 'they're too much for you do I won't say' so I just think the one person I was meant to be enough for was him, because he doesn't know half of the problems I got through and make him feel so comfortable but I feel like he likes to use mental health as a hierarchy against me which should never happen.
What if I just messsge stupid stuff on this forum will I be able to get dms? I just need help and I will do anything for it.
Last edited:
thechamp
I Love Life - Nihilism Is Retarded
- May 26, 2023
- 18
Guys really don't like to talk about their problems with their partners in the long term, I'd say it's a mix of ego, being scared of changing the relationship dynamic and just trying to be a strong partner which I respect. Talk to someone else too, it doesn't sound like talking to him about your situation is helping at all. Feel free to DM me, but it'd be even better for you to hit up some of the people you know and are close with irl. Used to have a little circle like that with the homies, but we all fixed our problems so it went away.
The only thing with this site, I didn't know if it was going to to be much encouraging speech, I just don't want to be pushed And pushed and have no where else to speak, but since people are very supportive and tell me to just deep breath and chill. Its good. Because with my mind I go to the most extreme 24/7 I always am in the mind of suicide and atm it's got the point where I'm trying to and planning to, but I need to be pushed to either change my life or fuck it up. I like people to put me in in my place and tell me that this isn't the right path for me and I need to grow tf up.
I have a friend irl, but she's struggling alot and I love her so much and she had to deal with me a lot in the past, the only thing is hes very loving and vulnerable , so it made me feel extremely disappointed in myself that he couldn't talk to me and didn't explain why, and made me feel even more ashamed to explain my problems to him ,
Last edited:
OceanBlue
Feminist
- Jun 13, 2021
- 701
I know it's difficult in the UK to get any kind of mental health support. You could ask your GP or contact Mind charity about options in your area. It could also be helpful to move out, if possible in any way, maybe when you start college or work. You're asking for help, means you're not ready to ctb.
Ignore this troll :)
Mord.
Member
- May 6, 2023
- 70
Personally when i think that i need a little push from someone to do something i don't do it, because i like to find that push by myself, sometimes it comes out of strong emotions, or just i convince myself to do it. Because at the end of the day it's my life, so if i'm going to end it or fix it i want to that final push come from me
You are ok! It's good to be reaching out. Much better than keeping it in. It is so hard and breaks all of our hearts when we are not heard or don't feel safe to talk and say what's important. I feel for you and send lots of hugs for your well being.
It looks like everyone above, on this suicide forum, sees you as someone who clearly has a chance at turning this around. I'm not someone who's here to try to stop people but this looks different. I don't have all the answers. Your problems are real and valid. This isn't the recovery section but there's a lot you can do while you're still figuring out this decision. Throw things into the cycle of nights and days that expand your mind and make your days better. Listen to great music. Fix your sleep schedule. Pick a period of time to be in constant physical motion. Hydrate. Write 100 words a day. Assign yourself a tiny task to achieve, and watch yourself achieve it. Linearise what you have to do so it's just about getting the next thing done. Avoid alcohol. Think consecutively instead of in loops. Give up on trying to get through to your mother. I know it's not that simple.
You say you want to hang yourself. I've hung myself to unconsciousness, fully suspended in an empty building but it still didn't work. The ligature held but then broke sometime after I passed out. The vast numbers of people who successfully commit suicide make it look like a readily available option but so many people are on this site because in our circumstances it seems practically impossible. In that situation, a person might have to recognise that they're trapped in this life and can only take little steps to make it less awful.
You say you want to hang yourself. I've hung myself to unconsciousness, fully suspended in an empty building but it still didn't work. The ligature held but then broke sometime after I passed out. The vast numbers of people who successfully commit suicide make it look like a readily available option but so many people are on this site because in our circumstances it seems practically impossible. In that situation, a person might have to recognise that they're trapped in this life and can only take little steps to make it less awful.
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 38,938
It's awful how humans are so cruel and it does sound really tiring what you've been through, it's such a horrible world we exist in where people suffer all through no fault of their own. But anyway I wish you the best, after all it's your decision deciding what to do.
Linda
Member
- Jul 30, 2020
- 1,685
I'm certain that ctb is not the solution for you, at least not right now. I think you need to find the right person (or people) in your environment to talk to. It sounds as though your family are useless in that respect, but is there anyone else? Is there anyone among your former teachers who you know you can trust? If there is, then just approach him/her, explain that you need some advice, and then explain your situation. You can't be sure how someone will respond to that kind of approach, but it may be worth taking the risk. I think most teachers, especially older ones, will have some experience of being asked, privately, for advice. You won't be the first. Also, they will feel flattered that you trust them enough and value their advice enough to actually ask them, so they are likely to take you seriously. But it's important to choose the right person to approach. Someone who has seen a lot of life, and who has a broad outlook, would probably be best.
Similar threads
Suicide Discussion
AtLast
