Story Hello, Im agoraphobic

[annxietty]

Im agoraphobic, been struggling since I was 14-15 (im now 22, this year will be 23), two years ago I could break free from agoraphobia, and partly free from deppresion, thanks to therapy and meds, now I dont have money to go to therapy and I had to ask for another psychiatrist because the one I had stopped working at the hospital or something, she stopped comunicating with me suddenly... I will only have a psychiatrist in June, which is also the month im gonna move to another country, where my sister lives, because the environment Im in now makes everything impossible, and I have better possibilities there with my sister... the case is, I cant exit my house, I have anxiety attacks only thinking about exiting my house, how can I go build a life when im like this? I have until the end of June to get better, the question is how... my first thought is therapy, but I have no money, I can try asking my dad maybe, but he doesnt seem like he wants to pay it for me... then I searched the internet and apparently exposure therapy is very good with agoraphobia, little by little exiting your house and confronting your anxiety, sounds f*cking scary but Im desperate... the kind of agoraphobia I exhibit is pretty much the definition of agoraphobia, im not a special case, Im afraid of going to "trapped" places with no toilet or exit route available, Im afraid of shitting myself or puking or both and everyone seeing that, things like that, the moment I feel my stomach moving and Im outside, my anxiety attack begins and thoughts of "you have to escape" "you cant do it" "youre gonna shit yourself" "youre gonna puke" begin to torment me, I try confronting this thoughts with other positive thoughts like "I can do it" "Is no big deal" "Im not gonna shit myself or puke myself" etc., but my head doesnt believe the positive words... Also the meds I have right now dont work anymore, or at least like they used to, I have Lorazepam as a SOS med for moments where my anxiety possesses me, and is doing nothing at the moment, Im anxious 24/7... The people around me dont quite understand me, when I talk about my fears and anxieties, my agoraphobia, my deppresion... my mom recently started talking about putting me in a mental health residential facility which is crazy to me, Im just asking for normal therapy like the one that saved me two years ago...
Are you agoraphobic too? Has anyone here recovered from agoraphobia? I think I will try asking my dad to pay me for a psychologist, but what do you think about trying exposure therapy alone? I should be excited because im finally gonna exit the hell I live in but now agoraphobia comes to torment me...
Thank you for reading all of this and Im sorry if my english is a bit broken, hopefully is good enough to understand, also is hard for me to talk about this so I feel this is all over the place hahaha

 

[6MillionWaystoDie]

Your post and English are perfectly fine.

1) Yes I would ask your dad and explain it as clearly as you did here. Tell him its your only hope for getting better.

2) I'd explain the harms that inpatient therapy would have not to mention it doesn't lend itself to fixing agoraphobia. The suggestion itself is counterproductive.

3) I was going to suggest a county therapist but it sounds like you are in Europe or at least a non-North American nation. I'm sorry I can't offer help here.


That said, welcome to the community!

 

[annxietty]

Your post and English are perfectly fine.

1) Yes I would ask your dad and explain it as clearly as you did here. Tell him its your only hope for getting better.

2) I'd explain the harms that inpatient therapy would have not to mention it doesn't lend itself to fixing agoraphobia. The suggestion itself is counterproductive.

3) I was going to suggest a county therapist but it sounds like you are in Europe or at least a non-North American nation. I'm sorry I can't offer help here.


That said, welcome to the community!

Thank you so much for answering.
Im gonna speak to my dad about all of this tonight, I already talked with him before but now I have confidence to talk it more thoroughly.
Looking for help in mental health in my country is not easy, but we dont have it as bad as others so I cant complain... is just impossible for me right now since I have to be done with this before the end of June and that takes just too long, so I have to find a private psychologist.
Thanks for the advices and for welcoming me!!