Venting hello again

[exhaustedanonymous]

i get better for a few weeks, comes crashing down. i'll always be a manipulative peace of shit but the universe gave me it's message yesterday
it's hard to talk about shit without sounding like one of those edgy little kids. i don't know.

i can't keep hurting the people in my life and even though i know there are people my suicide will hurt, making them live with me in this state is forever more taxxing then having to recover after i actually do commit. i'm just dragging it out if i stay here, & it's going to happen inevitably. people can move on faster and more properly if it's a cleaner break that I hope can happen soon.

i was browsing, saw a few familiar faces. hi guys. i doubt anyone remembers me, i wasn't ever that much of a talker. anyone wanna say welcome back, though?

coming back to this forum and starting to read everyone's messages again feels a little bit like talking to an old friend again. love you guys

 

[The anhedonic one]

I think the two main reasons for not ctb are survival instinct and staying behind for loved ones.
But as you say, if ctb is inevitable anyway then why drag it out ?
It's just more suffering upon suffering.