He said it's okay

[Fre_diE]

So I'm very depressed with brain damage from a head injury and have been suffering for the past 20+ years. Life is getting worse for me not better and doctors are of no help once so ever. I can hardly do anything normal without fucking anything up. I twitch, headache, and afraid. As a last result I've been considering to CTb for about a year now. I've openly talked about my intentions with my husband who says he understands and is okay with me ctb. Now i feel relieved but i know tomorrow will just be another day of hell trying to function. What should I do? Or more importantly, is tonight the night to finally ctb?

 

[FuneralCry]

Only you know when you should leave this world, it is your life and your decision after all. I'm sorry that you have been suffering for so long, it must have been so unbearable. I wish you the best in whatever happens.

 

[wljourney]

That's such an awful long time. I'm so very sorry. The pain must be unbearable and I feel with you.

How about you wait until you wake up tomorrow? If you feel like today is the day, then yes.

If you feel like you still have a few things to arrange, then plan those in for the next few days. Then reasses again.

I just told someone today that just the Knowledge of CTB being an option, gives me the feeling of autonomy. Empowerment. It might be enough to carry on longer than expected. Just KNOWING I can pull the lever at any time.

Whichever you decide it will be the right thing. For you. Because that's all that matters at this point.

 

[Lost Magic]

Nobody can give you the thumbs up to ctb, that's your decision to make and yours's alone. Do you qualify for Dignitas or Pegasus in Switzerland? I don't know how you are fixed with funds and such. At least your husband is supportive. To be honest there are no easy answers to this very complex matter. You just need to time to think things through with your partner. Best wishes!

 

[TheWood]

That's such an awful long time. I'm so very sorry. The pain must be unbearable and I feel with you.

How about you wait until you wake up tomorrow? If you feel like today is the day, then yes.

If you feel like you still have a few things to arrange, then plan those in for the next few days. Then reasses again.

I just told someone today that just the Knowledge of CTB being an option, gives me the feeling of autonomy. Empowerment. It might be enough to carry on longer than expected. Just KNOWING I can pull the lever at any time.

Whichever you decide it will be the right thing. For you. Because that's all that matters at this point.

I agree completely. Maybe one step at a time start planning what your final choice might be. Feeling that you have the possibility to go out at any time makes you more free and aware. Don't rush, think well and do everything with the right calm

 

[Fre_diE]

Nobody can give you the thumbs up to ctb, that's your decision to make and yours's alone. Do you qualify for Dignitas or Pegasus in Switzerland? I don't know how you are fixed with funds and such. At least your husband is supportive. To be honest there are no easy answers to this very complex matter. You just need to time to think things through with your partner. Best wishes!

I'd go right now like right this second i can't stop fucking up all the time i can't think or speak right anymore is such a hell i just want it to be over I'm not even scared of death but I'm afraid of failing since i can't get anything right

 

[TheWood]

Apart the question of the organizations in Switzerland, you could also order the N from D

 

[eternalflame]

Take your time, you don't want to end up worse, do you?

 

[lostmylove]

I'd go right now like right this second i can't stop fucking up all the time i can't think or speak right anymore is such a hell i just want it to be over I'm not even scared of death but I'm afraid of failing since i can't get anything right

Maybe if your husband understands, have him read the peaceful pill book, have him source N from D and when the time is right, have him prepare too, and leave you with just task to drink it

 

[Fre_diE]

I would love to order N from D but there's no money for that. This is a low budget ctb using rope ... even though he says it's okay I'm still worried he'll cut me down or something. It's not like I have anything going for me right now

 

[Fre_diE]

Take your time, you don't want to end up worse, do you?

Recent MRI results show signs of dementia so it's going to suck any way .

 

[TheWood]

I would love to order N from D but there's no money for that. This is a low budget ctb using rope ... even though he says it's okay I'm still worried he'll cut me down or something. It's not like I have anything going for me right now

If during the hanging while you are unconscious he saved you, you could suffer even more damage than you already have. I don't think you should risk your luck

 

[dudeitsdarren]

So I'm very depressed with brain damage from a head injury and have been suffering for the past 20+ years. Life is getting worse for me not better and doctors are of no help once so ever. I can hardly do anything normal without fucking anything up. I twitch, headache, and afraid. As a last result I've been considering to CTb for about a year now. I've openly talked about my intentions with my husband who says he understands and is okay with me ctb. Now i feel relieved but i know tomorrow will just be another day of hell trying to function. What should I do? Or more importantly, is tonight the night to finally ctb?

What sucks about you telling him is that if he is found out by police as knowing your intentions he can be arrested and tried in court as an accomplice

 

[eternalflame]

I think there is a difference between having dementia like old people and being a vegetable.