Having no presence anywhere (small vent)

[OvercastingClouds]

Been a hot minute since I was on here. Just came back to vent a bit <:)

I've been kinda getting frustrated with my absolute lack of connections and I know only way possible for me to be seen at all is to have a presence somewhere, which I lack.

Real life presence for me is out of the question. I never really stood out, in fact always felt invisible among others, plus I mostly spend my time home. Besides given my social anxiety I'm not too concerned about it right now. I figured my best bet was online but I even struggle here? I lack presence online as well. I'm not on a lot of social media apps, if I am I'm either usually casually scrolling or barely use it, most of the time I'm just lurking, I rarely comment or anything. I know if I want more opportunities for potential connections I'd need to put myself out there, however, posting on social media currently is just really unappealing to me right now, especially with things like the algorithm, negative people, etc, coming into play. I used to do it but it became less appealing after 2020.

It's just that fact that I mostly keep to myself and expecting someone to pop up but I know that's not realistic. I don't talk in discord servers, I don't participate in forums, I don't often comment on stuff consistently, nothing. Just a quiet observer. Then I see people I come across online that seem like interesting people but considering my lack of online identity, it would not make sense to try to expect or try connecting because it'll be unlikely to work.

I feel like this is just me being an introvert mixed with my social anxiety and anhedonia coming into play lol! But I always felt off, like feeling like I'm the only one who lacks any kind of presence and isn't known anywhere at all, just quietly observing others irl & online. It just seems like everyone else has some kind of presence somewhere, big or small, to the most niche and obscure places, but I don't. Yet at the same time I also don't want one? Not on traditional media apps I mean, but then again everyone is on there.

Sometimes I feel like I have to bite the bullet and become apart of mass social media but I really would rather not

Welp that's enough rambling tonight, back to sleep I go

 

[itsgone2]

Sometimes I feel like I have to bite the bullet and become apart of mass social media but I really would rather not

Do you consider yourself autistic? I also have no presence and recently realizing this may be an issue.

 

[Vlad Tepes]

I feel like this too. Im so invisible. Even in spaces where Im basically surrounded by other "rejects". Nobody wants to talk to me at all, and very few people even notice that I exist. I know Im doing something wrong, but I dont know what Im specifically doing wrong.

 

[woofwag]

I so get it. I hate the fucking algorithms. I want so bad to connect with people too, but I just don't have the energy anymore. We shouldn't have to participate in social media bullshit just to make online friends, but it feels like there's so much pressure to do so these days :/ hey, at least you're on here tho. Even if you don't have a big presence, it's something.

I will challenge the idea that reaching out to people you think are cool will have a low success rate. There are plenty of people out there with bigger followings who will respond and are willing to be friends. And what do you have to lose by trying, right? Just a thought.

 

[OvercastingClouds]

Do you consider yourself autistic? I also have no presence and recently realizing this may be an issue.

If I'm being honest this is something I've thought about a lot lately but after researching, I honestly don't really think so? I mean I understand it's a spectrum and whatnot but I think it's just me having other psychological issues that just so happen to share similar experiences with those who are autistic. Besides me struggling with social interaction, I don't really relate to the other symptoms that's often brung up.

Then again who knows! I do feel like I'm neurodivergent in some way but there's no way for me to confirm unless I get tested, which I'm unable to at the moment, but it's okay!

I feel like this too. Im so invisible. Even in spaces where Im basically surrounded by other "rejects". Nobody wants to talk to me at all, and very few people even notice that I exist. I know Im doing something wrong, but I dont know what Im specifically doing wrong.

Me too! I figured my best bet is to try interacting with others who are similar but even I still feel left out and invisible. But I also know it's partially my fault for not really trying to get out of my comfort zone by barely speaking and expecting someone to come up to me when that's not realistic. I would have to force myself to speak up and be myself more, although it's gonna be hard, I know I have to do it if I want others to notice me.

I so get it. I hate the fucking algorithms. I want so bad to connect with people too, but I just don't have the energy anymore. We shouldn't have to participate in social media bullshit just to make online friends, but it feels like there's so much pressure to do so these days :/ hey, at least you're on here tho. Even if you don't have a big presence, it's something.

I will challenge the idea that reaching out to people you think are cool will have a low success rate. There are plenty of people out there with bigger followings who will respond and are willing to be friends. And what do you have to lose by trying, right? Just a thought.

Literally everything you said is so true
And yeah you're absolutely right that I should just try to reach out regardless and get out of my comfort zone. It's just hella hard for me as someone who's kept to themselves for YEARS so it's gonna be a real struggle, but I understand that's basically the only way. I'd say the only thing I have to lose is maybe my dignity but that's me being overdramatic lmao.

Even if I have little presence, it at least helps to have like a profile that expresses your personality/interests to some extent. That's why I enjoy sites that allow a lot of custom things! Even though I doubt people would come across it, at least it's out there

 

[ernieclementsucks1]

I always feel that I don't have enough to say, even here I contemplated replying for like 5 minutes. When I used Twitter it seemed like everyone had a few hundred followers and I didn't understand how, I felt like I "got" the communities I tried to be a part of but was never really let in. You're definitely not the only one who doesn't have a presence anywhere, it's just that naturally us loners won't be heard.