Having a hard day

[anxiousmess0471]

I've been having a hard time these past couple of days and just wanted to vent. Life has been hard lately. It's been hard to be hopeful for a decent future. I keep trying to imagine myself in a state of happiness, but I see nothing. Usually I'm able to imagine/create a happier version of myself in my head even when I'm depressed or miserable. But lately I can't even do that. I used to do a lot of maladaptive daydreaming where I envisioned myself as being well liked and successful. Someone my family could be proud of. But in real life I'm a failure. And now I can't even escape into my thoughts anymore when I feel miserable. It's like my brain doesn't even want to give me that joy. Maybe it's because I don't deserve even a fake sense of happiness. All of this makes me want to ctb more. What's the point of living if everything is just miserable.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Sorry for your misery. I understand what you are going through. Wish I had some good advice but I'm not good at that either.

 

[Chacha]

Always having a hard day without money, friend, job, I am very exhausted, I want to die the sooner the better