Having a boyfriend isn’t helping

[lampshadereally]

I hope this doesn't come across as ungrateful or complaining.

Recently, I began a relationship with someone I've been interested in for a while. I was shocked to find out that he liked me back, and I was initially ecstatic. But very quickly I became sort of repelled by the entire idea of a relationship. I just wanted to break up immediately so I could go back to feeling alone. I'm usually attracted to him, but sometimes I inexplicably feel completely nervous and uncomfortable about talking to him. I don't know why.

I also feel as though he likes me way more than I like him. He's told me that he loves me even though we've been seeing each other for a week. He's quit energy drinks and is sleeping better, our friends say it's the happiest he's seemed. I feel terrible having doubts because the relationship is so important to him.

I like him, and I mostly like dating him. But I don't like feeling an obligation to talk to him, or to treat him differently than I did before. He wants me to call him pet names and stuff, and I try because I know it makes him really happy. But I feel embarrassed expressing affection towards him.

I'm already fantasizing about when we break up. I don't want to break up with, especially since we haven't been dating for long at all, but I just sometimes think this is making me worse.

 

[U. A.]

Even though it seems like you may not have much (healthy?) relationship experience,

He's told me that he loves me even though we've been seeing each other for a week

is a bright red flag unless you were good friends for a while first.
Brace for impact...

 

[ObsidianWatcher]

The fantasy and reality of being in a relationship are very different things. Maybe it just isn't what you actually wanted. That would be okay. It's worth remembering however that when we're accustomed to loneliness and haven't often felt loved or wanted, those things are unfamiliar and we may need time to get accustomed to them. Just because they're meant to be "good" feelings doesn't mean they automatically feel natural.

 

[whywere]

Change is always happening, and it takes time to adjust, as humans, I REALLY do, get in a routine and one of the most wonderful aspects of life is seeing what is around the corner of life and existence.

It will, take some time for you to adjust, but at the age of 69, mention this, as I have seen this aspect before, you will grow not only accustom, but also you will look back and say, "thank heavens he came into my life".

I wish for it each and every day even at my age.

That is why this site is like family, I have never had the experience in my life, nor the experience of walking with someone who I can trust and love.

Have a wonderful weekend and stay the haul, you will grow into it, I bet and look back with love.

Walter

 

[Sardinha]

I feel EXACTLY the same way. I'm also dating and going through those exact feelings. but I think it's a natural brain thing, at least for me. when you're not used to affection and all that after being alone for so long, it can suddenly feel so... restrictive. you just wanna go back to your old life, where it was just u and yourself. but I believe that once we get used to the other person's presence and their affection, that feeling fades and gets replaced by the same love. so even though that urge exists, it might pass, especially if the other person understands your mental health and past. i'm not saying it definitely will, but maybe it's worth sticking it out! who knows, in a few years you might look back and think, 'I'm so glad I stayed!!". it's comforting for me to hold onto that thought when that feeling gets loud