Having 0 messages in my phone sickens me

[BFishy]

why is it always us going out of our way and checking up on people, and yet, not a single person returns the favor and checks up on us :/.

one-sided relationships suck.

That's what brings us here. We are empathetic and it's taken as weakness and we get screwed over in some way.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

True. I always thought that. Or, there will be time enough later. But before you know it, later is to late. Contact people who you want to contact...please..

That's good advice. I may actually do that. While I have the chance.

 

[Blu_1]

I'm the same. Even my sister is mostly incommunicado. It's sad. I've nearly always been the one to reach out to people and keep communication open, but now I've stopped making the effort, I get little to nothing back. At least people on here respond. SS people get it and make the effort for others. I love that.

Can definitely relate as I have a sister just like that. She could completely disappear for six months and if I don't say anything first she would be silent for a year. We were close friends until a dog enters her life. I am not angry at the dog, I am just frustrated I am under-prioritized.

 

[pole]

I feel so bad after reading this. I'm guilty of being on the receiving end. I'm sorry.

People go out of their way to check on me, and I really don't want to ever respond. I eventually do, because I realize they are making a special effort to care, but all I really want is to be left alone. Sometimes I just reply so they don't try harder and show up at my door or something. Interacting with people I actually know takes so much energy I don't have. I put it off if I can. I'm not the first to reach out anymore, and if they didn't, maybe I'd never talk again.

It's usually harder to respond, the more I care about the person. I don't know why. I do know I don't deserve to be cared for like they do. I think this makes me an awful person.

But also, it gives me terrible anxiety. I hear a text come in, I can't look. The phone rings... panic attack. My neighbor knocks on my door to make sure I'm ok because I'm not answering texts and they haven't seen me leave my apartment in a week, I just want to hold my breath and hide forever and hope they give up.

don't feel bad.

i guess for me, the people were different. you're going through things. it takes ALOT of mental energy to be able to look outside of yourself, and support or even talk to others, when you're going through so much. you feel tired, you're completely dead.

for me, it was helping and being there for really close friends when they were down, and being 24/7 for them until they got better. but when it's the other person who needs helping, everyone disappears.

i guess it's stupid to expect people to be there for you, like you were for them; and to expect everyone to have the same heart as you.

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

My WhatsApp is always empty too. Only messages from groups but not talking to me. I don't care anyway. Being here is better than those groups.

 

[NotGonnaLast]

My dad always said about how no one every came to visit us at our house apart from my aunt and it was always up to us to go to them (they all have cars and we don't, they also have to drive past our house on their way to family members they see regularly). It annoyed him so much and then my uncle started to come by a little recently.

My dad died almost 12 days ago and everyone is suddenly posting on Social Media about how much of a loss it is and how they're going to miss him, but they haven't even contacted me about him or for any news, or even to see how I am. Of the few who have it's mostly about what they are doing and how they are. My family sickens me.

 

[ctb oil for dogs]

During my time b.c. (before COVID), it always sucked to wake up to zero texts, but it was definitely more manageable. It's become a lot harder now because I don't have my usual mundane routines to distract me. Doesn't help that when I'm on conference calls or zoom meetings or what have you, coworkers have expressed amazement at the fact that friends they haven't heard from in years are suddenly reaching out to them. Can't relate, lol

I definitely CAN relate to a lot of the talk around one-sided relationships. There's someone I've been trying to establish a friendship with for almost two years now and I feel like I'm an annoyance to her, at best. Oh well.

 

[NotGonnaLast]

During my time b.c. (before COVID), it always sucked to wake up to zero texts, but it was definitely more manageable. It's become a lot harder now because I don't have my usual mundane routines to distract me. Doesn't help that when I'm on conference calls or zoom meetings or what have you, coworkers have expressed amazement at the fact that friends they haven't heard from in years are suddenly reaching out to them. Can't relate, lol

I definitely CAN relate to a lot of the talk around one-sided relationships. There's someone I've been trying to establish a friendship with for almost two years now and I feel like I'm an annoyance to her, at best. Oh well.

Is there anyone YOU want to reach out to? If there is now might be the best time

 

[almaranthine]

Every once and a while, my department supervisor who I have a relentless and unproductive crush on, actually responds to my messages. Then of course, my mom who I live with, texts me about how much work sucks ass, or alternatively messages me while I'm working, usually only asking me to pick up something at the store I work at. Other than that, I could leave my phone on airplane mode indefinitely and it would not matter or inconvenience a single living soul.

 

[NotGonnaLast]

It would be a bad idea to start something with someone who is your boss. They hardly ever work out right. Sorry, Bud

 

[almaranthine]

It would be a bad idea to start something with someone who is your boss. They hardly ever work out right. Sorry, Bud

I've had a relationship with a former professor of mine, and was also taken advantage of by a boss I had at another job, so I understand where you're coming from... but when someone makes the voices in your head stop, it's hard to not want them in your life. Hah. The irony right.

 

[NotGonnaLast]

I think something to try could be to realise what about them makes the voices quieten and then look for that quality in others

 

[almaranthine]

I think something to try could be to realise what about them makes the voices quieten and then look for that quality in others

True. Unfortunately, all I do is go to work, come home, attempt to sleep, and repeat. This is not a result of quarantine. This has been my life. I don't meet new people/have friends that could introduce me to people. Thanks for the advice though.

 

[NotGonnaLast]

Sorry I couldn't help more

 

[ctb oil for dogs]

Is there anyone YOU want to reach out to? If there is now might be the best time

Not really. Wouldn't make sense to reestablish a relationship with someone before I kill myself.

 

[TAW122]

Same here and sorry to hear about your situation. IRL no one initiates contact with me and the very few that respond (old acquaintances) only do so very briefly and only after I reached out first. To be honest, a friendship should be a two-way street, rather than one party or individual (almost) always initiating contact. It should be closer to either 50/50, 40/60, 60/40. Thus, in short, I've grown used to the feeling of being forever alone since the majority of my adolescence and adult life has been just that. I'm basically invisible to a lot of people IRL and the times people approach me are oftenly when they need something from me or wish to feel morally superior. Anyways, I digress and back to my point is that it sucks having no one wanting/willingly on their own to contact me. I feel as though my connections with people are rather flimsy at best and it's always been like that most of my life. I suppose if there is anything that comes from it is that when the day comes in which I CTB, there will be very few people who (genuinely) miss me except my family and even then, they will move on.

 

[Iamcharlie]

That's what brings us here. We are empathetic and it's taken as weakness and we get screwed over in some way.

I feel that, oh i live in upstate NY too. I'd love to talk to someone near me. PM me if you'd like.