404
Member
- Jun 14, 2023
- 68
i thought my life was going to be okay and stable and i won't have suicidal thoughts anymore so i left this site a few months but i was so wrong about that assumption lmao
during that time i made new friends that'll support me during (one of) my lowest point and so far everything was fine. slowly but surely that friend group i was in started to fall apart because of issues with other members. im still connected with all of them individually though but i feel so lonely and lost. during that one of my past friends that i genuinely care about so much (i mentioned him a lot in my previous posts) wanted to reconnect with me since i hace changed a lot and he "cared" about me so i agreed thinking that they changed and wouldn't leave me again like before but they never showed me that they cared at all. maybe responding to my messages is caring already but i feel like it isn't enough but i shouldn't complain when a friend who gave me many chances told me that they care about me right? just before new year they told me that they won't be talking to women anymore at 2024 and that made me very concerned. i tried to ask him about that but they haven't replied since. it hasn't even been a month when we reconnected again and he's already treating me like this. they left me a total of 3 times already in the past and i keep giving him chances because maybe we'll get closer if i acted nicely. i hope that one day they'll come back again so i could work on gaining their trust and concern so they'll comfort me again just like before.
also it has been almost 4 years since i felt extremely depressed and i haven't changed at all... as much as i wanted to blame someone else, there is no one to blame except me and me only
during that time i made new friends that'll support me during (one of) my lowest point and so far everything was fine. slowly but surely that friend group i was in started to fall apart because of issues with other members. im still connected with all of them individually though but i feel so lonely and lost. during that one of my past friends that i genuinely care about so much (i mentioned him a lot in my previous posts) wanted to reconnect with me since i hace changed a lot and he "cared" about me so i agreed thinking that they changed and wouldn't leave me again like before but they never showed me that they cared at all. maybe responding to my messages is caring already but i feel like it isn't enough but i shouldn't complain when a friend who gave me many chances told me that they care about me right? just before new year they told me that they won't be talking to women anymore at 2024 and that made me very concerned. i tried to ask him about that but they haven't replied since. it hasn't even been a month when we reconnected again and he's already treating me like this. they left me a total of 3 times already in the past and i keep giving him chances because maybe we'll get closer if i acted nicely. i hope that one day they'll come back again so i could work on gaining their trust and concern so they'll comfort me again just like before.
also it has been almost 4 years since i felt extremely depressed and i haven't changed at all... as much as i wanted to blame someone else, there is no one to blame except me and me only
