WeirdTheaterKid02
Member
- Jul 1, 2022
- 30
Currently in my head right now after having a couple Grenada's thrown onto my life. My boyfriend is a Canadian citizen and his dad is like a millionaire tgat lives in the states. My boyfriend and I just moved from the states to Canada with a plan to get me naturalized eventually. Now I'm finding out all of the details behind my boyfriends dad having a serious grudge against me holding my partner back and telling my mom essentially all of his annoyances about my behavior that my partner shares no common feelings in.
As soon as we got to Canada his dad essentially let loose all of his issues with how I've been in the relationship saying I'm dragging him down and controlling him to do all of these choices that my partner made on his own.
Now, since his dad is providing for my partner financially to be here, he has every say in my decisions here pretty much. I've always struggled with suicidal issues and just wanting to end my suffering.
I have type 1 diabetes so it will be a huge challenge trying to transfer all of my medical care here.
So it really comes down to a few options.
Stay here as long as possible against my partners dads wishes;
Book a flight for the same week and figure out how to provide for myself in the states and deal with all of my issues alone.
Or I'm just going to hang myself or I dunno… OD on my insulin. I just have never wanted to live an entire human lifespan with all of the issues I'm burdened with every day. I know it would be devastating for anyone that knows me since I'm generally a good supportive and positive person to be around. I'd never want anyone to go through or feel the pain I have to go through every day in my own head.. and now with everything else, I can't live my life under someone else's thumb. Especially someone else's father who is so similar to my narc dad that it only doubles down on the trauma and triggers I have.
I cant ever live up to the expectations I'm given so I feel there's no point in me going on and trying to keep fucking everything up.
As soon as we got to Canada his dad essentially let loose all of his issues with how I've been in the relationship saying I'm dragging him down and controlling him to do all of these choices that my partner made on his own.
Now, since his dad is providing for my partner financially to be here, he has every say in my decisions here pretty much. I've always struggled with suicidal issues and just wanting to end my suffering.
I have type 1 diabetes so it will be a huge challenge trying to transfer all of my medical care here.
So it really comes down to a few options.
Stay here as long as possible against my partners dads wishes;
Book a flight for the same week and figure out how to provide for myself in the states and deal with all of my issues alone.
Or I'm just going to hang myself or I dunno… OD on my insulin. I just have never wanted to live an entire human lifespan with all of the issues I'm burdened with every day. I know it would be devastating for anyone that knows me since I'm generally a good supportive and positive person to be around. I'd never want anyone to go through or feel the pain I have to go through every day in my own head.. and now with everything else, I can't live my life under someone else's thumb. Especially someone else's father who is so similar to my narc dad that it only doubles down on the trauma and triggers I have.
I cant ever live up to the expectations I'm given so I feel there's no point in me going on and trying to keep fucking everything up.
