Discussion Have you lost relatives or friends to suicide?

[GummyBear!>.<]

Basically the question in the title, if you did, how do you feel about it? I lost a parent to suicide when I was a child and though I miss them a lot and are still grieving and I feel and I KNOW everything would be so much better rn if they were here I don't feel angry at them or think they are guilty or selfish for dying
Ive also lost multiple friends to suicide and feel the same way

 

[RoseGirl]

my girlfriend died last week. I was crying and screaming for hours till medicated.
I really miss her.

 

[offbalance]

yeah my ex boyfriend CTB with a shotgun it was totally unexpected…

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I lost a cousin who partial hanged. Another cousin may have been a suicide (OD), but will never know. I did have an older friend/acquaintance who blew his brains out when I was much younger. Had an ex-coworker kill himself, too, after bad medical news, at least that's the reason I heard, anyway. And certainly there have been several people here on SaSu that I've gotten to know, and although we never met in person, I still consider them friends, especially the ones I've had extensive conversations with.

 

[whywere]

Great aunt used a shotgun.

Walter

 

[flip_bug]

Sorry for your loss. I had a friend complete suicide by heroin overdose. I miss him a lot. There was nobody like him. I found out by messaging people on his friends list.

 

[wishicould33]

My younger stepbrother hung himself last year. It was absolutely horrible. Moreso for my dad and my stepmom than me because I didn't know him very well. We're very far apart in age so didn't grow up together. But no one suspected anything. I have had a lot of mixed feelings about it, ranging from anger to sadness to jealousy

 

[davidtorez]

My mother hung herself downstairs and my brother and boyfriend found her in the morning. She was 61 at the time

 

[gottacheckout]

One brother killed himself by alcohol, talk about a drawn out suicide
Another brother cocaine
Sister stole my dad's morphine
Great uncle drank battery acid
A couple friends by shotgun
One friend handgun
And my Dad did death with dignity

 

[copioushopelessness]

Basically the question in the title, if you did, how do you feel about it? I lost a parent to suicide when I was a child and though I miss them a lot and are still grieving and I feel and I KNOW everything would be so much better rn if they were here I don't feel angry at them or think they are guilty or selfish for dying
Ive also lost multiple friends to suicide and feel the same way

I lost my best friend to suicide and a few others. I haven't been ok since.

 

[Parnate]

Three cousins on mother's side. I feel envious of them. Wish I had that courage to just end it.

 

[that_miqo'te]

Relative I didn't know existed until she died. She was so much like me but was abandoned by my entire family and I'm mad I didn't know about her to offer what little help I could've. I'll probably follow her sooner or later anyway. Maybe we can finally meet then

 

[Jisatsu]

I lost 10 people in my life to suicide.... 8 from the last 2 years ...
I lost a boyfriend last year and I lost a girlfriend last week.
I also lost a friend last week.

You don't ever just move on from it , you carry it and it only gets worse.

 

[vanillamilkshakes]

Nobody in my personal life, but online, I've lost some people I've communicated with. It's a strange feeling. I suppose it's harder to grasp that the person is gone when you've never met them face-to-face, only through a screen.

 

[Goth_tt_B]

My best friend/boyfriend ctb 4 years ago. I attempted a few times before meeting him. It's one of the things we bonded over.
But now that he's gone, I'm too scared to die even though I want to more than I did any other time I've attempted. I'm scared that if there is an afterlife of any sort, I won't be with him..

 

[Tiny Little Tree]

wow it was hard reading all those, I'm so sorry

I've never had even a single one. I guess the closest was a friend from uni, she was nice but we weren't that close. Was a shock when I heard but due to luck she didn't go through with it. She has talked about it since and seems to have made a full recovery, happy for her.

 

[ManOfTheYear]

My childhood best friend ended his life after attempting to rape me for the second time. My retaliation is what lead him to ending his life.

 

[FoxSauce]

Only one but i didnt knew them personally.

 

[hmnow]

Yes a woman I lived with. But long after we broke up.

A high school mate and then a colleague

I was neither sad nor unhappy. My guess I was stunned then wishful I had passed in the same way.

 

[madameviolette]

Yes a woman I lived with. But long after we broke up.

A high school mate and then a colleague

I was neither sad nor unhappy. My guess I was stunned then wishful I had passed in the same way.

how did they die ?

 

[GreaterThanLessThan]

A lot of family - suicide's a recurring pattern on both sides. I also knew a couple of people online who committed, if that counts

 

[traingirl]

Basically the question in the title, if you did, how do you feel about it? I lost a parent to suicide when I was a child and though I miss them a lot and are still grieving and I feel and I KNOW everything would be so much better rn if they were here I don't feel angry at them or think they are guilty or selfish for dying
Ive also lost multiple friends to suicide and feel the same way

My mom committed by jumping out of the window of our house. She was in a lot of chronic pain and had been in multiple psych wards for attempts. I miss her everyday and it traumatized me to the point it's fucked me up for life but I don't fault her because I know long covid is a bitch.

 

[vira]

Basically the question in the title, if you did, how do you feel about it? I lost a parent to suicide when I was a child and though I miss them a lot and are still grieving and I feel and I KNOW everything would be so much better rn if they were here I don't feel angry at them or think they are guilty or selfish for dying
Ive also lost multiple friends to suicide and feel the same way

my uncle shot himself, we think

 

[LetMeOut67]

Several friends from 1985-2012, possibly a few more I knew years ago who've died recently and I'm not sure how they died.
At the time I was upset but now I just feel jealous that they're free from this hellscape.