Discussion Have you ever had a girlfriend (or boyfriend)?

[tomz323]

And how does this make you feel? I know it really shouldn't reflect our self worth but you know...

 

[Conflicted Cat]

Never had, never will. No one could ever love me that much anyway. I can't even make regular friends. Even so, with my personality, it would never work. Don't really know what to feel. Am I supposed to feel bad about that? I'm lonely as hell, and no one ever understands me, or relates to me, so I guess I'll continue pacing around my house talking to myself.

 

[TheDevilsAngel]

Yes and it made me feel horrible. I wish i never met him now he is making my life hell. We split just over two months ago. My advice stay single unless it is 100% the right person for you .. although its hard to tell, i got very drawn in. Now i want too be alone ........

 

[not_a_robot]

I have had a ridiculous amount of sex partners but I have never had a real close and mutually understanding relationship with a man or woman so, no to both.

Yes and it made me feel horrible. I wish i never met him now he is making my life hell. We split just over two months ago. My advice stay single unless it is 100% the right person for you .. although its hard to tell, i got very drawn in. Now i want too be alone ........

Oh well I've had *this* kind of boyfriend. Tons of them.
They don't count.

 

[Boonks]

I have had a few. Every relationship I've had ended in chaos and disaster. One was a chronic cheater. One was a beater. Two were alcoholics and coke addicts. Each time I was madly in love. Now I'm over all of it. I'm cynical and bitter. I highly doubt I'll ever meet a good person and if I do I won't be there to fall in love with them because of my past. I'll just be distrusting, slow, cautious, severely inhibited.

 

[not_a_robot]

And how does this make you feel? I know it really shouldn't reflect our self worth but you know...

Omg I have said this a bunch of times but tying number of partners to self worth is so insane and unfair.
What, we're supposed to feel bad about ourselves because I've had thousands and you've had none? That's dumb. I only had sex for money to survive being disabled with no help and I regret all the sex I ever had for free but no, I do not feel bad about myself, I just feel bad about the men I didn't make pay me.
I think it's a sick brainwashed tragedy that society makes men measure their worth by number of partners but that is all men's idea to do that to each other. I like virgins, I think it's sweet.
Who do you feel shames men more for being virgins, men or women?

 

[puppy9]

asexual here

 

[marcusuk63]

yes to both and at the same time

 

[not_a_robot]

you cheeky little monkey!

asexual here

I identify as transsexual/asexual/autosexual on form that ask it. asexual and autosexual always have to be written under 'other'.
I still feel capable of enjoying sex or being close to someone but I'm just not equipped for the social requirements of it, I'm weird about it, everybody including me is just much more comfortable if I keep myself to myself.

 

[Final Escape]

I've had many boyfriends but I was unconsciously choosing inappropriate partners who had issues similar to myself. Unfortunately they always started hot and heavy but then reality set in and I would lose attraction or we were unable to work out conflicts. Basically I was attracted to similar broken people whom had also come from traumatic upbringings or otherwise did not get adequately parented or educated. I'm not bitter about it anymore and accept that I made disastrous choices. There's still pain over the failure though.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

Two marriages, and maybe ten girlfriends or so, but it doesn't do much for your self esteem when things keep falling apart. I don't take any of it too seriously anymore. Like the faces change but the situations and problems keep repeating. I know that's pretty cynical of me but you can only do something so many times with the same results before you become a bit jaded.

 

[Sailfisher]

Presently married. Job change and the depression that resulted have taken a toll.

 

[Morphinekiss]

Depends on the relationship. Some were great, most were shitty and I was blinded by love/lust/ the sun at a 52 degree angle. My most meaningful relationships have been with women

 

[Midnight]

I got lucky once in my late 20's ... My depression more or less started over not being able to find a gf. Never got rid of it since. The 2-3 years i was with my ex actually made me less depressed and i could somewhat think normally. Once she took her bags and left it was back to square one.

By now i've pissed away any chance of a future on just keeping my needs fulfilled and the boat called "normal life" set sail 10 years ago and i'm standing at the dock. Ready to jump in the water and sink to the bottom. I don't give a shit anymore .. i just want out. Nearly 2 decades of depression is enough... I'm tired.

 

[Final Escape]

Two marriages, and maybe ten girlfriends or so, but it doesn't do much for your self esteem when things keep falling apart. I don't take any of it too seriously anymore. Like the faces change but the situations and problems keep repeating. I know that's pretty cynical of me but you can only do something so many times with the same results before you become a bit jaded.

Lol! Right? The faces change but the same issues keep repeating.

you cheeky little monkey!

I identify as transsexual/asexual/autosexual on form that ask it. asexual and autosexual always have to be written under 'other'.
I still feel capable of enjoying sex or being close to someone but I'm just not equipped for the social requirements of it, I'm weird about it, everybody including me is just much more comfortable if I keep myself to myself.

What is an autosexual? I guess I can look it up.

 

[Tortured_empath]

I did. She was too nice of a person. I felt overshadowed and unworthy, I was jealous and manipulative. She put up with me until she couldn't anymore, and I was too much of a coward to admit guilt. I miss her, but do not blame her for leaving.

 

[Severen]

And how does this make you feel? I know it really shouldn't reflect our self worth but you know...

It has it's Pros and Cons. Nothing is free in this world. People glorify it when it's simply more like a business deal.

 

[tomz323]

It has it's Pros and Cons. Nothing is free in this world. People glorify it when it's simply more like a business deal.

Yeah, I guess it is. I just feel like I'm missing out by being 22 and never having a relationship.

 

[Quinlor]

Never and I fell guilty...

 

[inconsequential]

It makes me feel like society has conditioned me into thinking a partner is necessary for emotional fulfillment.

 

[Severen]

Yeah, I guess it is. I just feel like I'm missing out by being 22 and never having a relationship.

You have your whole life in front of you to experience a relationship. Women aren't going anywhere, anytime soon.

 

[Morphinekiss]

Yeah, I guess it is. I just feel like I'm missing out by being 22 and never having a relationship.

You have soooooo many prime dating years ahead of you. Don't worry!

 

[soda_pressed]

Had a few boyfriends. I know it's easier said than done but the number of partners should never be tied to your self worth.
I know some amazing people who have never been in a relationship, and vice versa.

 

[Oblivion Lover]

Never had a boyfriend (I'm a gay guy), probably never will. It's already hard for me to find another gay guy, and then you add my picky-iness and my mental disorders to the mix and you've got a recipe for loneliness. Plus, I might ctb at any moment, so it would be very egotistical of me if I had a serious relationship. I keep wondering how it feels like, though. It seems great. I had a serious crush on school and it was one of the best feelings I've experienced.

 

[LifeIsNotFun]

Nope, never.

 

[Darkhaven]

Never had a girlfriend. Never even came close to it because the only person i have a close relationship is my mother and even that is slowly degrading.
Never had sex. And to be honest, apart from the natural fantasies a virgin person in their early 20's tends to have, i don't think it affects my sense of selfworth a bit.
What, am i supposed to feel worse because i never engaged in a close and intimate relationship? That's pathetic. I already feel like a loser for other reasons and i don't need another.
I'm not to blame for my lack emotion and empathetic capabilities. I simply can't relate to people and sure as hell can't get close with anyone.
So why bother about something i can't change and i'm not to blame?
Do i crave it? I surely do.
Does it have anything to do with wanting to ctb? Nope.

 

[262653]

I'm feeling confused actually. I never wanted to make children...
What does boyfriend/girlfriend mean?
Its not just a conjunction of "boy/girl" and "friend", right? Something bigger than its parts? What would I do without dictionaries...
Are you essentially asking about romantic and sexual partners?
Ok, sex is quite straightforward... What is romance then? Chemical induced passionate attraction? Anticipation of sex part? Both? Something else?

I guess I never had. What am I losing? I see couples everywhere I go, and most people I pay attention to are wearing rings. But I could count the number of RL people (tangible ones) I felt sexually attracted by the fingers of my left hand. Or right, if it does matter. I'm practically asexual, I guess, in a sense of severely lacking
any sexual attraction.
I wonder how having sex with someone else is different pleasure-wise than jerking off?
I've felt bad about it before because people around me put so much emphasis on finding "another half", like I'm incomplete without another.

What is an autosexual? I guess I can look it up.

I guess its a sexual attraction towards yourself. It's when you get a hard on by looking at your reflection. This one is the real nacissism right here.

asexual here

By asexual you mean not having any sexual desire or you have, but disgusted with this very idea? Or something else maybe?

 

[Darkhaven]

I'm feeling confused actually. I never wanted to make children...
What does boyfriend/girlfriend mean?
Its not just a conjunction of "boy/girl" and "friend", right? Something bigger than its parts? What would I do without dictionaries...
Are you essentially asking about romantic and sexual partners?
Ok, sex is quite straightforward... What is romance then? Chemical induced passionate attraction? Anticipation of sex part? Both? Something else?

I guess I never had. What am I losing? I see couples everywhere I go, and most people I pay attention to are wearing rings. But I could count the number of RL people (tangible ones) I felt sexually attracted by the fingers of my left hand. Or right, if it does matter. I'm practically asexual, I guess, in a sense of severely lacking
any sexual attraction.
I wonder how having sex with someone else is different pleasure-wise than jerking off?
I've felt bad about it before because people around me put so much emphasis on finding "another half", like I'm incomplete without another.


I guess its a sexual attraction towards yourself. It's when you get a hard on by looking at your reflection. This one is the real nacissism right here.


By asexual you mean not having any sexual desire or you have, but disgusted with this very idea? Or something else maybe?

Being asexual must be a really big perk, specially in nowadays society where sex is on every corner.
I see it as a kind of invulnerability. It's like being immune to a certain disease.
While most of the world's population lives almost for sex: they dress in order to get sex; they eat and shape their bodies in order to make them more appealing to their potential sex partners, asexual peolple simply don't give a single fuck about it and can just focus on their lives and other objectives. Sounds great! But is it?

 

[Final Escape]

It makes me feel like society has conditioned me into thinking a partner is necessary for emotional fulfillment.

It may feel like conditioning but there's a reason they encourage women to pair up especially. A lot of women are perfectly happy to be single in our 20's and even into 30's but as u get closer to middle age and u failed to land a partner or had kids u will notice it's not a fulfilling place to be. It's not easy to find a guy as u move out of 20's for women because our marriage, sexual, dating value is highest till age 24 and then begins to drop. I sometimes read about women who are single and childless in older ages and I find it hard to believe they are happy unless they are very close to other family or have a large extended family. Women aren't as motivated in career or job as we hit older ages and it can leave u really bad off financially. Unless u have some easy gov created job that pays artificially high wages. Women are happiest when we have security but men are more interested in freedom because they don't get pregnant so they don't have the same worries. That's why men can take more risk and earn more.

 

[262653]

Being asexual must be a really big perk, specially in nowadays society where sex is on every corner.
I see it as a kind of invulnerability. It's like being immune to a certain disease.
While most of the world's population lives almost for sex: they dress in order to get sex; they eat and shape their bodies in order to make them more appealing to their potential sex partners, asexual people simply don't give a single fuck about it and can just focus on their lives and other objectives. Sounds great! But is it?

Sounds great, the way you described it. It has its own advantages and drawbacks. Like everything does.
Then I'd call it insensitivity, or imperceptibility. Invulnerability sounds too cool and not enough dual.
I'd like to play that game out of curiosity... Lives of mostly sex-driven people sound quite entertaining... and it may seem futile to put so much effort just to have a nice fuckage... But it's life-promoting activity and we reside in the realm of living... Sorry, I have hard time putting my thoughts into words and I'm not talking about language barrier... I mean, Its the part of life and we are living things... Its probably normal to feel like missing out when you're not perpetuating life.