Squidward
This is as brave as I know how to be...
- Apr 18, 2018
- 80
Responders/investigators will likely get their first "suicide death investigation form" that's already been filled out by the decedent. (Couldn't really think of what to write to cover whatever they might care to know, so I found and used it as a template.)
My mother will find a page with an inevitably inadequate "explanation" expressing thanks, apologies, and undying love. And a separate page with the passwords, preferences, and practicals that might be pragmatically useful.
Father, friends, and family will receive scheduled texts with even briefer expressions of my loving appreciation.
I may post a recording of Liam Clancy singing "Fiddler's Green" to a Facebook account I haven't used in 5 years.
It's also somewhat possible I will leave a word-trap for the abusive old woman who targeted me as a 19yo dishwasher, specifically because she used her supervisor authority to make me promise her a goodbye in the case of my suicide. While I've always been averse to tainting my self-deliverance with spite, she's obsessively intrusive enough that I know a place that I could post it where only she would ever be able to find by actively looking for it. I don't want to hurt anyone on my way out, but if the most hurtful things I have to say are direct quotes that she has said to and about others, maybe she should be offered the opportunity to remember them? ...Idk, most of all I hate how much of my thoughts she still occupies and if I really needed any revenge it would seem just as mean to leave her with silence... Vindication is not really my thing and it's a grossly impossible situation all around with that particular person...
My mother will find a page with an inevitably inadequate "explanation" expressing thanks, apologies, and undying love. And a separate page with the passwords, preferences, and practicals that might be pragmatically useful.
Father, friends, and family will receive scheduled texts with even briefer expressions of my loving appreciation.
I may post a recording of Liam Clancy singing "Fiddler's Green" to a Facebook account I haven't used in 5 years.
It's also somewhat possible I will leave a word-trap for the abusive old woman who targeted me as a 19yo dishwasher, specifically because she used her supervisor authority to make me promise her a goodbye in the case of my suicide. While I've always been averse to tainting my self-deliverance with spite, she's obsessively intrusive enough that I know a place that I could post it where only she would ever be able to find by actively looking for it. I don't want to hurt anyone on my way out, but if the most hurtful things I have to say are direct quotes that she has said to and about others, maybe she should be offered the opportunity to remember them? ...Idk, most of all I hate how much of my thoughts she still occupies and if I really needed any revenge it would seem just as mean to leave her with silence... Vindication is not really my thing and it's a grossly impossible situation all around with that particular person...
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