Have any of you considered just leaving your life instead of CTB?

[LittleJem]

been depressed and suicidal in every location I've ever been
even in the carri-bean

lol.

 

[demuic]

Every moment of existence is pain for me. Moving somewhere else doesn't change that. I would still have to interact with people, live in society ruled by psychopathy and narcissism, get money, pay for housing, utilities, food, taxes, etc, and deal with the inescapable human sensations of pain, depression, anger, desire, boredom, etc. All while dealing with incurable conditions which further lower quality of life. I am just fundamentally incompatible with this world, the only way I can leave is through CTB.

 

[CTB Dream]

Ctb 100%, no posbl time bk no posbl any, lif wrng cncpt. Alllife awfl all plc simil, this me injury damage all plc have simil, still say othr plc posbl ltl bttr prblm no able do any. All awfl life, small thing posbl bttr also temp ,simil say all rtn 1 day all awfl, this human life wrng all chemy, go othr plc say wow nxt day no chemy say awfl

 

[charlotte_]

I've had that thought several times. In my moments of high impulsivity, I've packed my shit up and went for a long way, but at the end I always come back. The idea of just disappearing and become someone else - new looks, new identity, new personality ect is desirable for me. I want to escape my current horrible life and wish for everyone to forget abt the horrible me that's still alive. But realistically I'm sure I have no chances to survive on my own out there.

 

[Green Destiny]

Yes honestly I have thought about what it would be like to leave my current life and start my own new one away from my family. Just to be on my own and do whatever I want, hopefully find new friends, get some actual hobbies and get a job that doesn't drain me so much. Grasping at straws but I'd like to think something like this was more achievable going back about 20-30 years. But in this day and age it just doesn't seem feasible given money is significantly harder to come by now and plenty of other factors.

 

[Passersby]

Nowhere to run nowhere to hide! Yes. This can be done for some depending on circumstance but is extremely hard, requires a lot of effort and a multitude of things to make work like lots of money, good body, mind, the want, to actually care etc. We're really just distracting ourselves until we die. The world is changing fast now and we are being squeezed out more and more. It will only get worse. In order to disappear and go somewhere else to be a N.E.E.T costs lots of money because you have to have place to live, internet, food, games, etc etc.

 

[loyalskateboard]

Yep, I definitely considered it. I decided it's far too much effort lmao

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

I guess I was just wondering if any of you have just considered up and leaving as an alternative to CTB, for example leaving to another place or country, travelling around, or anything else similar. For me there's always been the urge or temptation to just disappear, and I know that logically it's no worse than CTB. But at the same time it comes with a lot of fear - it feels like if I'm going to choose life then I'm still bound by the responsibilities and burdens and I should either kill myself or learn to deal with them. Logically this just doesn't seem to hold up though.

So I guess I was just wondering if any of you have had similar thoughts and feelings, and what your views are?

And go where? And are you paying?

 

[SpiderLink]

I guess I was just wondering if any of you have just considered up and leaving as an alternative to CTB, for example leaving to another place or country, travelling around, or anything else similar. For me there's always been the urge or temptation to just disappear, and I know that logically it's no worse than CTB. But at the same time it comes with a lot of fear - it feels like if I'm going to choose life then I'm still bound by the responsibilities and burdens and I should either kill myself or learn to deal with them. Logically this just doesn't seem to hold up though.

So I guess I was just wondering if any of you have had similar thoughts and feelings, and what your views are?

I have, but I'd most likely be still in pain. Plus I'd be even more alone than I already am

 

[ringo99]

If I up and disappear it would put my mother in a terrible financial state. No way I'll ever do that to her after the sacrifices she's made for me. Ctb is my best option. The insurance money from my death will at least remove her financial burdens.

 

[EternalDaydreaming]

Yes sometimes I just want to walk in one direction until I die. I don't know why but it feels ethereal and an end to a story that just fits right with my life.

 

[ncmxm]

Yeah I fantasize about it a lot but I'm too stupid poor and ugly to do it

 

[dreamist]

I guess I was just wondering if any of you have just considered up and leaving as an alternative to CTB, for example leaving to another place or country, travelling around, or anything else similar. For me there's always been the urge or temptation to just disappear, and I know that logically it's no worse than CTB. But at the same time it comes with a lot of fear - it feels like if I'm going to choose life then I'm still bound by the responsibilities and burdens and I should either kill myself or learn to deal with them. Logically this just doesn't seem to hold up though.

So I guess I was just wondering if any of you have had similar thoughts and feelings, and what your views are?

I've thought about this but I just don't have the means to. Besides, relocating myself would not get rid of my problems.. It really sometimes feels like harming myself or ctb is the only way to fix those problems.

 

[tweaka2x]

Yes many times. But my guardians still having a "legal responsibility" over me I have had to go through many courts. Many interactions with police. Many nights sleeping on the floor shivering. Bugs crawling on me. Finding refuge in parking garage staircases where I could at least get a quick charge for my electronics and inside from the elements. I have resorted to ctb I cant go through anymore running away its simply too difficult with many problems to ensue. By ctb I can just be done with everything.

 

[Linda]

I guess I was just wondering if any of you have just considered up and leaving as an alternative to CTB, for example leaving to another place or country, travelling around, or anything else similar. For me there's always been the urge or temptation to just disappear, and I know that logically it's no worse than CTB. But at the same time it comes with a lot of fear - it feels like if I'm going to choose life then I'm still bound by the responsibilities and burdens and I should either kill myself or learn to deal with them. Logically this just doesn't seem to hold up though.

So I guess I was just wondering if any of you have had similar thoughts and feelings, and what your views are?

I have lived in many different countries on three continents. In my experience, living abroad is hard work. If you don't speak the language, it is very hard work. I wouldn't recommend it as a way to try to fix your problems. Moving to a different region in your own country would be much easier. But usually, unless your problems are directly related to where you are living, you take your problems with you wherever you go.

 

[SleepingLessons]

And go where? And are you paying?

Hah! I wish I could, my urges were always to slum it, go vagabond somewhere warm. That life comes with many of its own issues though!

 

[System28]

my biggest enemy is my mind, i cant run away from it