Discussion Has your race affected your choice to ctb?

[eatantz]

Being born into a racist society is one of the reasons i want to ctb. I'm not sure if its due to my autism but all the racism I've experienced has been soul crushing for me. I'm biracial [white/black] and growing up in a very white eastern European family has warped my perception of myself.

I've spent my whole life trying to ignore the self hate due to my race but i cant help but look in the mirror and see everything I'm not. I don't want to be white i just wish i didn't feel like i need to be.

 

[sserafim]

I think so, but I'm not sure, actually. I'm Asian in America, and it's a country built and meant for white people. I don't consider myself American even though I'm technically Asian American. I grew up in a predominantly white town, and I was othered growing up. People made fun of my race and the Chinese food that I brought to school. They slanted their eyes at me and said "ching chong" and "ling ling" to me. I asked my mom if I could eat the public school lunch instead because I was embarrassed of my fried rice and dumplings. I was friends with the smart kids; they were my friend group. There were some Asians in it, but we still never fully fit in. People would see us by our race first rather than our personality. I never felt a sense of belonging ever in my life, not even at Chinese school. I moved to the city for high school and I felt better there because it was more diverse, but I still never found my crowd. I never felt like I belonged anywhere, not even with the Chinese international students in college whom I spoke Mandarin with. There was still a cultural disconnect. I have a friend who has similar struggles as me, but she's Korean American. By the way, I think that people are usually covertly racist instead of overtly. It's subtle and under the surface. I honestly wish that I could have been a (Wasian) hapa or white instead of Asian. America was intended for white people, not minorities

 

[WhenTheyCry]

I'm Asian-American. We're like white people but without the white privilege. Due to being seen as "high-status" (totally untrue in reality), others feel that racism against us is acceptable. Asians are seen as smart and wealthy, but personally I'm low IQ and was born in poverty. Whenever I failed at something in public school they would always shoot me with the line, "I thought Asians were smart!". It was humiliating and demeaning. Other POC feel envy towards us because they think we're all billionaires or something. The model minority stereotype is nothing but a gift, it's an absolute curse. Oh, and we do receive police brutality and hate crimes, the media just doesn't give a shit about us and don't bother reporting them. We are a minority within a minority, our population size here is tiny. We have zero support system to back ourselves up. Other POC do have it better in this regard. We are stereotyped as a monolithic hivemind, but we can be the most selfish individualists ever. Asians hate other Asians. The Koreans hate the Japanese who hate the Chinese who hate the Japanese who hate the etc. We're so divided and conquered with no racial solidarity. The media likes to throw shit at our faces and smear us as effeminate small-dicked non-humans, denying us dating prospects. It's weird because in the past, we were seen as savages with "dicks that would penetrate the entire west", because they see how large our population size is and fear being replaced by us. The truth is that we're just ordinary humans. How come Asians are viewed as strange otherworldly creatures when the average person on Earth is Asian? I'll let that one slide because Americans don't typically travel to other countries and don't have much experience in dealing with other countries.

So yes, living in such a country that despises us, demonizes us, really makes me want to rope.

 

[sserafim]

I'm Asian-American. We're like white people but without the white privilege. Due to being seen as "high-status" (totally untrue in reality), others feel that racism against us is acceptable. Asians are seen as smart and wealthy, but personally I'm low IQ and was born in poverty. Whenever I failed at something in public school they would always shoot me with the line, "I thought Asians were smart!". It was humiliating and demeaning. Other POC feel envy towards us because they think we're all billionaires or something. The model minority stereotype is nothing but a gift, it's an absolute curse. Oh, and we do receive police brutality and hate crimes, the media just doesn't give a shit about us and don't bother reporting them. We are a minority within a minority, our population size here is tiny. We have zero support system to back ourselves up. Other POC do have it better in this regard. We are stereotyped as a monolithic hivemind, but we can be the most selfish individualists ever. Asians hate other Asians. The Koreans hate the Japanese who hate the Chinese who hate the Japanese who hate the etc. We're so divided and conquered with no racial solidarity. The media likes to throw shit at our faces and smear us as effeminate small-dicked non-humans, denying us dating prospects. It's weird because in the past, we were seen as savages with "dicks that would penetrate the entire west", because they see how large our population size is and fear being replaced by us. The truth is that we're just ordinary humans. How come Asians are viewed as strange otherworldly creatures when the average person on Earth is Asian? I'll let that one slide because Americans don't typically travel to other countries and don't have much experience in dealing with other countries.

Wait you're also Asian? What kind of Asian are you? I'm Chinese

 

[eatantz]

I'm Asian-American. We're like white people but without the white privilege. Due to being seen as "high-status" (totally untrue in reality), others feel that racism against us is acceptable. Asians are seen as smart and wealthy, but personally I'm low IQ and was born in poverty. Whenever I failed at something in public school they would always shoot me with the line, "I thought Asians were smart!". It was humiliating and demeaning. Other POC feel envy towards us because they think we're all billionaires or something. The model minority stereotype is nothing but a gift, it's an absolute curse. Oh, and we do receive police brutality and hate crimes, the media just doesn't give a shit about us and don't bother reporting them. We are a minority within a minority, our population size here is tiny. We have zero support system to back ourselves up. Other POC do have it better in this regard. We are stereotyped as a monolithic hivemind, but we can be the most selfish individualists ever. Asians hate other Asians. The Koreans hate the Japanese who hate the Chinese who hate the Japanese who hate the etc. We're so divided and conquered with no racial solidarity. The media likes to throw shit at our faces and smear us as effeminate small-dicked non-humans, denying us dating prospects. It's weird because in the past, we were seen as savages with "dicks that would penetrate the entire west", because they see how large our population size is and fear being replaced by us. The truth is that we're just ordinary humans. How come Asians are viewed as strange otherworldly creatures when the average person on Earth is Asian? I'll let that one slide because Americans don't typically travel to other countries and don't have much experience in dealing with other countries.

So yes, living in such a country that despises us, demonizes us, really makes me want to rope.

This was so interesting I've never actually seen this point of view since I've never spoken to an Asian American before. I used to think 'positive' stereotypes were a blessing but I've learnt that there as bad as negative stereotypes. Its true the media rarely covers the police brutality and hate crimes Asians receive. Its also insane how much POC hate each other within in there own groups like the colourism in the black community makes no sense all we do is hate each other based on white standards of beauty. Thank you for this response it really gave me more insight

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I'm also Asian American but grew up in a part of California that had tons of other Asians so I never felt too isolated for my race or anything like that. My upbringing may have had an effect on my suicidality but I'm assuming I must be a rare case or maybe I just have thinner skin and a lower IQ than most other Asians. My dad mostly beat me up for my grades and him beating on my mom which lead to their divorce also gave me all these anxiety and attachment issues I'm facing today.

I don't really like to dwell on blaming him. My problems are my own and I firmly believe that even if I were white, or black, or Latino, I would still find ways to hate myself because fundamentally I'm just that terrible a person which is why I need to stop myself and die before I hurt others.

 

[eatantz]

I'm also Asian American but grew up in a part of California that had tons of other Asians so I never felt too isolated for my race or anything like that. My upbringing may have had an effect on my suicidality but I'm assuming I must be a rare case or maybe I just have thinner skin and a lower IQ than most other Asians. My dad mostly beat me up for my grades and him beating on my mom which lead to their divorce also gave me all these anxiety and attachment issues I'm facing today.

I don't really like to dwell on blaming him. My problems are my own and I firmly believe that even if I were white, or black, or Latino, I would still find ways to hate myself because fundamentally I'm just that terrible a person which is why I need to stop myself and die before I hurt others.

Im sorry you had to experience a father like that, i can relate with u on that except i blame him all the time and wish my dad the worst. I hope the rest of ur life is peaceful

 

[Throwawayacc3]

I mentioned this in a thread before but race is a factor for normie type people. I explained in another thread that I had no groups at school (like geek, popular, outsiders, nerds, etc) and one friend I had was black but his group wouldn't let me spend time with them in the playground at lunch.

I look white but I'm mixed (south Italy, English, Polish and some other stuff). I tend to go more tanned when in the sun for a bit.

Anyway - the biggest factor for people talking and stuff was autism - having that is WAY worse than race because you can't small talk. If you can't small talk you become a pariah to ANY race - it doesn't matter. Having mental differences is way worse. There are differences to races and IQ and all that but at the end of the day - all people are …. Say it with me!

I'm Asian-American. We're like white people but without the white privilege. Due to being seen as "high-status" (totally untrue in reality), others feel that racism against us is acceptable. Asians are seen as smart and wealthy, but personally I'm low IQ and was born in poverty. Whenever I failed at something in public school they would always shoot me with the line, "I thought Asians were smart!". It was humiliating and demeaning. Other POC feel envy towards us because they think we're all billionaires or something. The model minority stereotype is nothing but a gift, it's an absolute curse. Oh, and we do receive police brutality and hate crimes, the media just doesn't give a shit about us and don't bother reporting them. We are a minority within a minority, our population size here is tiny. We have zero support system to back ourselves up. Other POC do have it better in this regard. We are stereotyped as a monolithic hivemind, but we can be the most selfish individualists ever. Asians hate other Asians. The Koreans hate the Japanese who hate the Chinese who hate the Japanese who hate the etc. We're so divided and conquered with no racial solidarity. The media likes to throw shit at our faces and smear us as effeminate small-dicked non-humans, denying us dating prospects. It's weird because in the past, we were seen as savages with "dicks that would penetrate the entire west", because they see how large our population size is and fear being replaced by us. The truth is that we're just ordinary humans. How come Asians are viewed as strange otherworldly creatures when the average person on Earth is Asian? I'll let that one slide because Americans don't typically travel to other countries and don't have much experience in dealing with other countries.

So yes, living in such a country that despises us, demonizes us, really makes me want to rope.

This is more prevalent in the UK. Rather in then race it's more based on class. So others judging you that you are Asian so you must be wealthy and smart is pretty stupid (I mean most normies are brain dead anyway). But the sticking point is class. If you are rich - race takes the furthest seat back possible. Middle class or lower? Prepare to be checked with a magnifying glass.

 

[Abysicle]

Nah, born into a racist world privileged with white skin. Racism does make me hate the world though, I won't miss it when I become star stuff. But like racism or not humans suck so I'd be suicidal regardless.

 

[eatantz]

I mentioned this in a thread before but race is a factor for normie type people. I explained in another thread that I had no groups at school (like geek, popular, outsiders, nerds, etc) and one friend I had was black but his group wouldn't let me spend time with them in the playground at lunch.

I look white but I'm mixed (south Italy, English, Polish and some other stuff). I tend to go more tanned when in the sun for a bit.

Anyway - the biggest factor for people talking and stuff was autism - having that is WAY worse than race because you can't small talk. If you can't small talk you become a pariah to ANY race - it doesn't matter. Having mental differences is way worse. There are differences to races and IQ and all that but at the end of the day - all people are …. Say it with me!

ok but imagine being black and having autism life is unfair

 

[Throwawayacc3]

ok but imagine being black and having autism life is unfair

It's more of a USA thing from what I see. Government and people in power are OBSSESED with race and it trickles down to all their followers and minds. More division = more control.

If I was black and autistic I would abuse the fuck out of the system because I hate people. So I'd do stuff like diversity jobs and hires and absolutely milk and get disability benefits for the mental side. All this money will end but might as well abuse it.

 

[theJuice818]

Being born into a racist society is one of the reasons i want to ctb. I'm not sure if its due to my autism but all the racism I've experienced has been soul crushing for me. I'm biracial [white/black] and growing up in a very white eastern European family has warped my perception of myself.

I've spent my whole life trying to ignore the self hate due to my race but i cant help but look in the mirror and see everything I'm not. I don't want to be white i just wish i didn't feel like i need to be.

Hey I can kinda relate a little bit, I'm mixed with a couple things from my mom and my father is white. As a kid my darker skin tone and hair has always been commented on and it made me really upset, I'd only tell them that I was just Italian and that's why I was darker. My father's side is Lithuanian so also eastern but they've mostly forgotten their roots. I think I've reached a point in my life where I am comfurtable with my racial identity no matter what other people have to say about it (either them telling me I'm white and not mixed or vice versa). It took me till I was a young adult to really connect with my other identities as I really couldn't understand my feelings till I was older.

 

[sserafim]

It's more of a USA thing from what I see. Government and people in power are OBSSESED with race and it trickles down to all their followers and minds. More division = more control.

If I was black and autistic I would abuse the fuck out of the system because I hate people. So I'd do stuff like diversity jobs and hires and absolutely milk and get disability benefits for the mental side. All this money will end but might as well abuse it.

What if you were Asian and autistic? What would you do? I have Asperger's lol; what should I do?

 

[Throwawayacc3]

Nah, born into a racist world privileged with white skin. Racism does make me hate the world though, I won't miss it when I become star stuff. But like racism or not humans suck so I'd be suicidal regardless.

I don't understand this. My skin is considered "white" but what privilege do I have? Cancer? Autism? Bullied? People leaving me due to financial issues (not caused by myself). This makes 0 sense.

 

[eatantz]

It's more of a USA thing from what I see. Government and people in power are OBSSESED with race and it trickles down to all their followers and minds. More division = more control.

If I was black and autistic I would abuse the fuck out of the system because I hate people. So I'd do stuff like diversity jobs and hires and absolutely milk and get disability benefits for the mental side. All this money will end but might as well abuse it.

Exactly what I'm doing actually getting as much money as i can from them just to ctb

 

[Throwawayacc3]

What if you were Asian and autistic? What would you do? I have Asperger's lol

Companies are doing stuff now like classing different races on who should get a job. It's a mess. Even some school didn't accept Asian students because their grades were "always high" and it wasn't diverse enough. I believe it was considered a higher rated school. As I put above to the other person - abuse the system - get benefits. Just play their game because it isn't going to change anytime soon.

Can you imagine politicians saying "those neurodivergent people are causing too many problems - they are critically analysing that all parties are scum and there should be no government like this. We must point this out and purge them". lol

Exactly what I'm doing actually getting as much money as i can from them just to ctb

The UK gets it right (even though it's fucked up). It's not race, genetics or any of this stuff - it's WHO you know and how much money you have. If you land the jackpot of those two things then life WILL become way more manageable.

What if you were Asian and autistic? What would you do? I have Asperger's lol; what should I do?

My reply was more general - for your exact situation - get benefits for the autism. And that's all the "advice" I would have. I don't know. I'm in a similar boat so I don't have the answers and having knowledge on things means nothing without resources. So dead end.

 

[Abysicle]

I don't understand this. My skin is considered "white" but what privilege do I have? Cancer? Autism? Bullied? People leaving me due to financial issues (not caused by myself). This makes 0 sense.

I mean I don't face racism which would suck where I live so I guess I'm privileged? More a lack of being despised for my skin color. I assume not being affected by my race is a privilege on its own. But we live different lives so maybe being white isn't so great where you live? I'm just speaking for myself here

 

[Throwawayacc3]

I mean I don't face racism which would suck where I live so I guess I'm privileged? More a lack of being despised for my skin color. I assume not being affected by my race is a privilege on its own. But we live different lives so maybe being white isn't so great where you live? I'm just speaking for myself here

I don't think you understand me. Me getting cancer because of dogshit genetics. doesn't correlate at ALL with race!

Privilege = having money and options. THATS IT. Not race or anything else. Money allows you to speak to people to assist you and help you with anything. If I had it I could have done 3 biopsies if I wanted to be certain or had different medical opinions.

People are extremely classist in UK and Europe. Some Eastern European countries generally are more iffy about race BUT if you dress well and have money to do things people don't care. You will get ROBBED in Poland regardless of race if you are showing off a Cartier watch walking around at night. They don't come up to you and say "oh I'm sorry, your race isn't X so I can't rob you know".

Edit: it's London. My sexondary school - black, white (English, European, etc), Asian (Chinese, Japanese, Indian, Russian). Etc.

Race means fuxk all here. The first question peope ask is "what do you do for work" or "where do you live" - it's to judge what your class is.

Edit 2: if your race was the issue and you HAD resources for example. Well you have money to go live anywhere else. But you'll still be mobbed becuase of class - if you are white, black, purple, rainbow and dress "funny" in south of Spain (I lived there) you will be called out for it and pariahed.

 

[Endlichkeit]

I'm native European, and seeing how our cities are being swamped with non-european migrants makes me rethink, whether I should ctb. I really don't want them to be here. We'll see what tendency prevails in me.

 

[cosmic-freedom]

My race and the cultural surrounding me will also be a big cause of my ctb.It's a bad place to be born in,if not the worst.Idiots at every turn,and a regressive culture.It's like that saying,"In the country of the blind, the one-eyed man is king"
Except here if you have one eye,the blind will try to poke your eye out and drag you down.