Discussion Has the pandemic/lockdown made you MORE or LESS suicidal?

[WornOutLife]

First months were a blessing for me! I loved staying in my apartment and not going out at all.
Then, life became kinda monotonous and I think it made me more suicidal (I want to ctb for many reasons, but things got worse I guess)


What about you? Has this pandemic made you more or less suicidal?

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

No effect. I believe not being affected by the pandemic is a huge sign that you're going to ctb in the future.

 

[WornOutLife]

No effect. I believe not being affected by the pandemic is a huge sign that you're going to ctb in the future.

Okay, I really like that point of view! So interesting.
I think you're right. If we're gonna ctb, who cares about a pandemic or the end or the world right? lol

 

[Emily_Numb]

Not the pandemic itself, but the repercussions of it have certainly made me worse. The restrictions, the feeling of claustrophobia, the inability to have autonomy over where I go, who I see, what I do. Covid itself doesn't bother me in the slightest (I'm in the UK), it's the police state and what that means for our freedom that does.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Okay, I really like that point of view! So interesting.
I think you're right. If we're gonna ctb, who cares about a pandemic or the end or the world right? lol

Oh, I meant that I never did anything that would increase the spread of covid19 before the pandemic. NEET, no friends, virgin, etc. But what you said also makes sense.

 

[WornOutLife]

Oh, I meant that I never did anything that would increase the spread of covid19 before the pandemic. NEET, no friends, virgin, etc. But what you said also makes sense.

Well, the pandemic actually had turned me into a NEET! I just started to work again 1 month ago lol

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Well, the pandemic actually had turned me into a NEET! I just started to work again 1 month ago lol

haha, alrighty

 

[NothingElseMatters]

My first months were terrible but now I'm used to, even because we are no longer in quarantine.

 

[*Hope*]

I was always an introvert so there wasn't much change. I think I was even glad that now I can stay home where no one can see me lol.
But vape and music shop closing is the one thing bothering me the most tbh.

 

[Fehler]

Not much, I have always been a loner and have continued practically the same life that I did before the pandemic (skating, housework, not going out until tomorrow). The biggest drawback I would say would be the factor of finding a job, the moment I run out of savings I'll ctb.

 

[lucacaro]

I never really left my house before the pandemic anyways so... I was considering taking some classes though but that's been put on hold and I've been getting some pressure about it which has somewhat fucked with my mental health. But for the most part it's ok.

 

[BluesRunTheGame]

More like the idea of suicide (and of everything else) has been put on pause. I keep thinking how great it might be when lockdown ends but then again it probably only will be great for people who already have lives and money. Back to normal, for me = back to terrifying. But still, I can't deny I am a little intrigued about a post-Covid society, and I think this will reveal to me more honestly where I'm at mentally. Cos right now I'm just being a hermit cos there's nothing much else to do.

 

[Polly]

Much much more. The isolation is killing me.

 

[AutoTap]

No real effect.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

the moment I run out of savings I'll ctb.

No gov't help where u @?

 

[botanormal]

I relate to your experience! During the first lockdown last year, my mental health was already pretty bad, and I felt very relieved that I didn't need to go into work anymore. I was on the verge of quitting everything, so getting the opportunity for a break felt like it came at the perfect moment, I almost felt grateful, in a way. But recently, the restrictions have made things a lot harder, there are many things I want to do, but I'm not able to, and it really sucks! The restrictions are driving me crazy, and I feel like there's a long list of things covid has ruined in my personal life.

So I guess, at first it sort of helped things, but as time went on things became a lot worse because of it!

 

[Silver]

It hasn't really changed my life, I was already a NEET who rarely went out. In fact it helped because it took off some of the pressure. Now I can see restrictions are going to start easing and that I'm going to have to start being less of a recluse, it increases my ctb thinking.

 

[WornOutLife]

I relate to your experience! During the first lockdown last year, my mental health was already pretty bad, and I felt very relieved that I didn't need to go into work anymore. I was on the verge of quitting everything, so getting the opportunity for a break felt like it came at the perfect moment, I almost felt grateful, in a way. But recently, the restrictions have made things a lot harder, there are many things I want to do, but I'm not able to, and it really sucks! The restrictions are driving me crazy, and I feel like there's a long list of things covid has ruined in my personal life.

So I guess, at first it sort of helped things, but as time went on things became a lot worse because of it!

As usual, bota chan and me can relate and understand so much!!
This is exactly how I feel! I need freedom! (although here in Argentina, people don't give a f*ck, just wear face masks and spend 24/7 on the streets. That's why we have so many infected)

Anyway, thanks a bunch for dropping by my thread. It's always lovely to read you and remember, you own me some DRINKS! haha

 

[Fehler]

No gov't help where u @?

Spain, they denied me help. I have already exhausted the unemployment so I would have to request another application but I told you that there are people much worse off than me economically and that they are still processing their application from months ago.

 

[EmbraceOfTheVoid]

I already lived in a cave so it made no difference to me.

 

[botanormal]

As usual, bota chan and me can relate and understand so much!!
This is exactly how I feel! I need freedom! (although here in Argentina, people don't give a f*ck, just wear face masks and spend 24/7 on the streets. That's why we have so many infected)

Anyway, thanks a bunch for dropping by my thread. It's always lovely to read you and remember, you own me some DRINKS! haha

You're right about that, I always feel I can relate to you, which is part of the reason I love reading you so much!
I understand the restrictions, because here in the UK the virus has been spreading like crazy, however after such a long time it's starting to drain on me a little. I'm sure you feel the same on that! Hopefully things can improve soon, even if I know it's unlikely!

Thank you for your kindness, it's always so lovely to see a thread from you! And yes, I'll make sure to buy you many drinks, when this pandemic is finally over! Haha

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Spain, they denied me help. I have already exhausted the unemployment so I would have to request another application but I told you that there are people much worse off than me economically and that they are still processing their application from months ago.

And there is nothing else that can make you get by? Family, some other branch of government, etc?

 

[Fehler]

And there is nothing else that can make you get by? Family, some other branch of government, etc?

Of course, my mother would make room for me, but once the freedom of independence has been proven...I refuse to continue without being self-sufficient.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Of course, my mother would make room for me, but once the freedom of independence has been proven...I refuse to continue without being self-sufficient.

No one is self-sufficient, but I get where you're coming from.

 

[ZardozOmega]

It didn't change anything.

 

[AnniesHideaway]

I really liked that I did not have to deal with invites over everyones homes during the holidays ... that was wonderful. Also I have a neighbor that I used to visit like once a month out of a sense of obligation ... and getting out of that for almost a year has been amazing. So for me, it's probably made me slightly less.

 

[sorella santini]

At first the introvert part of me was kinda ok with the idea having to severely limit the places I go and people I see. However over the last 4 months circumstances have escalated. Personal health issues, family members lost to COVID and the endless winter blues- day after day of cold grey and dreary weather. That alone used to be enough. So yeah I'm definitely more suicidal.

 

[unloved]

It wasn't necessarily that quarantining did anything to me or affected me, I don't think, 2020 was just an all around awful year for everyone. A lot of things happened in 2020 that were just cruel and pointless, there was no reason for them to happen, they just did and now I have to suffer for them. Who knows how I would be without this year to experience?

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

At first it made me less suicidal because I really hated traffic during my daily commutes to school and work but now it's not doing me any favors to make me less suicidal from how I feel now because it makes meeting people so hard.

 

[inthemoonblue]

Doing nothing productive in isolation made me want to ctb. But getting a new job and reintegrating myself back into the real world just made it a lot worse.