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oliviarolandomartin

Member
Nov 24, 2022
11
I was wondering, because whenever I sent an ex friend a long text they suspected it was a suicide note or ominous monologue and became annoyed.

Apart from that rumors about me have spread in the past and I don't feel comfortable around people who know this about me and I don't wish to associate with them anymore or for the circle to widen.

Has anyone else been naive and had to learn the hard way to keep such thoughts to themselves in order to enable professional relationships with friends, colleagues, family, and the like.

Obviously talking of something so taboo creates fear in others of what you are capable of naturally everyone including myself would not like to be around a person that entertains the idea of killing themselves.

No I'm not saying there is a resolution, there absolutely is not one in sight. I don't think it should be normal to discuss thoughts as this with anyone at all, it's best to keep it bordered and bottled up inside, with complex locks secured to prevent anyone from having a hint. I really mean that people who hurt themselves are sometimes not far off from making a scene, it's unfortunate, but it's the truth. By nature people are selfish and attention seeking and will go to unreasonable lengths to accomplish what they said out to do.

Talk of suicide should remain taboo, which is of precise reason why I regret opening up about it/making careless comments. This isn't the reputation I wanted for myself.

So where do I go from here? Well personally I'm leaving this place in time and dropping an anchor elsewhere to find new people, the past and the prior relationships held/lost I will bury. I won't repeat my mistakes, as an essential part of life is learning from them. The hardest mistakes though are ones that come at a cost of people's trust and likeness in you.

It makes me wonder if I came across someone in the future who said things like so how I would respond, I don't have any advice to offer up, I would just tell them what others told me - seek therapy. Regardless of whether it's helpful or solvable that is the default appropriate answer to give out to a despondent person. And if they push it, I mean really push it give them a hotline number, after all I'm not going to meddle in their affairs. It doesn't matter whether the aforementioned vices help, (they don't benefit me) It's just what you have to say.
 
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Suicidebydeath

Suicidebydeath

No chances to be happy - dead inside
Nov 25, 2021
3,558
People suck if you're not allowed to talk about it.
 
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Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

Do what's best for you 🕯️ I'm............
Jul 1, 2020
7,031
Me being suicidal is common knowledge. Hell when I was in the store yesterday the first thing I said (with 4 complete strangers around me) was "I have problems and I'm getting stressed". I take the opposite approach. There is the occasional annoying prolifery "just be happy" person but I just stop talking to them, although one is trying to be my friend so I sent them a thing that proves I literally physically can't be happy and they dropped it lol
(bpd comes with emotion induced amnesia. When I'm sad, I literally can't remember happy)
I'm me and I can't help that. I'd rather be alone then fake (plus its really emotionally wearing and anytime I've tried it just causes stress). I find it bs that its even a problem, but that's humans for you 🙄
(tbf I think I'm kinda activist-y though)
 
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LaVieEnRose

LaVieEnRose

Angelic
Jul 23, 2022
4,352
Yup. Most people simply cannot brook talk of it. Of course I've suffered worse consequences than them getting annoyed: having EMS called on me. Yet the urge to reveal it is always strong. Hence the value of places like this. Not like those who oppose it are willing and/or able to hold space for these feelings themselves.
 
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oliviarolandomartin

Member
Nov 24, 2022
11
Yup. Most people simply cannot brook talk of it. Of course I've suffered worse consequences than them getting annoyed: having EMS called on me. Yet the urge to reveal it is always strong. Hence the value of places like this. Not like those who oppose it are willing and/or able to hold space for these feelings themselves.
I've noticed no one likes the idea of a suicidal person possesing a firearm or even something as simple as a device that could utilized as a ligature. I sort of flipped it around though if no one trusts anyone that struggles to own a weapon (that twice has optimization in being used in self defense from outside threats or self defense in whatever one's living quarters may be.) everyone that has a firearm makes me feel uncomfortable as well partly out of spite but also reasonable conclusion that 'hey if this person wanted to take my life, my sole being they could so with the simplistic ease of a trigger pull' and that just dosen't seem fair.
Also I'd like to add I don't make comments on my mood anymore if I feel down or I'm discontent about certain circumstances, I don't want to give off the wrong impression, growing up is really about creating a fake persona, hiding beneath a mask, it's all a masquerade. Negativity cannot persist in a workplace or in healthy relationships with others, so it has to be hidden or success becomes limited, and stressors become exacerbated.
 
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SamTam33

Warlock
Oct 9, 2022
763
I think it's perfectly normal to talk about the plans you have for your life, including ending it. People talk about starting lives (having babies, getting married, etc.).

I can't imagine having a suicidal person confide in me and my response being to seek therapy or call a hotline. Makes me feel dirty just thinking about it.
 
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oliviarolandomartin

Member
Nov 24, 2022
11
I think it's perfectly normal to talk about the plans you have for your life, including ending it. People talk about starting lives (having babies, getting married, etc.).

I can't imagine having a suicidal person confide in me and my response being to seek therapy or call a hotline. Makes me feel dirty just thinking about it.
I think I will want to end my life at a much later date if I start having health problems or cancer, up until then I'm preparing for the inevitable. Old age will meet everyone sooner or later, and what if I don't want to deal with the unasked for consequences that life has forced upon me. I never asked to be born, all I want is reasonable comfort and something to occupy my mind, I don't want pain or misery.

No one talks about life after the marriage dissolves, or the kids grow up or life becomes uncolourful and tasteless, when everyone becomes isolated and drifts apart.

You don't just die, just how in the movies a person can die of a quick stab wound, irl bodies are impenetrable, complex, and capable of bearing shock load. You don't just die, until you're entire internal system becomes weakened and eventually something goes out. What if you don't want to wait for that to happen and to have to lose aspects of your physical capabilities and independence. Maybe not everyone want to give that up or live with illnesses, and just make a quick end of things.

That why methods are important to me, so that I know that if needed I can get there one way or another, if one isn't preferred or optimal in a environment then switch to something else.
 
BornToFail

BornToFail

Experienced
Sep 9, 2022
285
I never truly understood why folks didn't like to talk about suicide with their close friends as strange as that may sound... but then I had an ex who brought it up and told me she would kys if I broke up with her. Through no endeavor of my own, I understand why now.
I think it's perfectly normal to talk about the plans you have for your life, including ending it. People talk about starting lives (having babies, getting married, etc.).

I can't imagine having a suicidal person confide in me and my response being to seek therapy or call a hotline. Makes me feel dirty just thinking about it.
I admit, I've said this before but only when I felt the person was "crazy" have I told them to seek therapy. I didn't actually think therapy would help them, admittedly. It was merely a throwaway line to get them to stop talking about it with me. I called a hotline once for a friend and regret doing that. It was when I was 17. Hopefully this does not make me sound like a prick, but I feel as though
 
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outrider567

Visionary
Apr 5, 2022
2,851
I don't talk about it to anyone--Nobody knows, or will know...until its done
 
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Countdown Kirk

Member
Nov 30, 2022
31
I approached my sister and asked her what she would tell my nieces if I CTB.

She was horrified. She proposed she would tell them the truth. That's how she parents. So I am left in a state of despair. As is she...
 

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