Things were bad but one little thing just broke through and left you a husk?
hamvil
Wizard
- Aug 29, 2022
- 650
When they fired from the job of my life in 2020, i never really recovered since then.
jodes2
Hello people ❤️
- Aug 28, 2022
- 7,736
My psychosis destroyed me. I got rid of my most treasured possessions and I have nothing left I can enjoy
hamvil
Wizard
- Aug 29, 2022
- 650
jodes2
Hello people ❤️
- Aug 28, 2022
- 7,736
Delusions of persecution, if that answers the question
hamvil
Wizard
- Aug 29, 2022
- 650
I have a bit of that too. I always feel that people have an hidden agenda or that they are trying to trick me or make fun of me. Maybe it is not really the same not sure. I lash out of poeple because of this quite often.
avoid_slow_death
Ready to embrace the peaceful bliss of the void.
- Feb 4, 2020
- 1,356
Hard to say. Have felt like this at several points in my life. First time was age 11 when my Dad cruelly told me that he should have made my mom abort me when she was pregnant because having to raise me ruined his future....
hamvil
Wizard
- Aug 29, 2022
- 650
My mother kept repeating me that I should not have born as well. Often, since I could remember. She killed herself when I was 14.
jodes2
Hello people ❤️
- Aug 28, 2022
- 7,736
It was the most intense shit, I honest to god thought I was going to be tortured by the Americans and Indians and Chinese, one after the other so I was prepared to hurt myself in just about any way to get out of it. Instead I just ended up bashing my head against windows in the psych ward trying to get out. Crazy times
Sorry to hear that mate
Fadeawaaaay
Visionary
- Nov 12, 2021
- 2,160
When my girlfriend broke up with me, My brain collapsed… My will to live disappeared…
Losing my wife of 19 years did me in. Already had a lot on my plate but that did it recently.
Same here. Will to live just vanished.
Same here. Will to live just vanished.
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 44,115
For me there never really was a spirit to break in the first place. I've never really had any interest in being alive, and I've never wanted to be here, but I think that simply just seeing the world for what it really is, and realising how much cruelty and suffering exists is enough to make anyone want to leave. I don't understand how anyone could want to live in a world like this.
InjuredBrainGamer
Member
- Sep 8, 2022
- 27
I hate knowing that my brain is irreparably injured and my family do not understand the depth of its injury and I am expected to continue functioning and act normal when I am injured and cannot process situations correctly and also I have a ton of medical issues including PTSD anxiety tinnitus brain injury memory issues bipolar and multiple personality disorder
HumansAreHell
Member
- Aug 31, 2022
- 58
For me it was when my health turned bad enough that I had to stop doing martial arts. I dedicated 22 years of my life to it across 3 different styles. The only time in my life I have ever been proud of myself was when my Sensei picked me to be a teacher in his dojo. I didn't realize it was the only thing holding me up until I lost it.
there was never a time when you were happy?
A personality altering reaction to drugs broke me decades ago. I should've ended myself then.
SheJumped
Student
- May 14, 2019
- 143
As far as I remember (age 7-8), I never felt 'normal.' I would have moments of happiness but never long periods.
I experienced this feeling through my teens and into my adulthood (over 35 now).
There are moments that I'm happy and grateful for, but I'm reminded of my mistress, who always lurks around me.
There isn't any moment that shattered me, and I had a pretty awful childhood but no direct correlation to how I feel. I've only become more at peace with the idea of catching the bus as life continues to provide one disappointing moment after the other.
I experienced this feeling through my teens and into my adulthood (over 35 now).
There are moments that I'm happy and grateful for, but I'm reminded of my mistress, who always lurks around me.
There isn't any moment that shattered me, and I had a pretty awful childhood but no direct correlation to how I feel. I've only become more at peace with the idea of catching the bus as life continues to provide one disappointing moment after the other.
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 44,115
I don't even know what happiness would be like. I've never seen anything good in having to endure life, I've always found existing to be tiring, with the endless problems and suffering. I just don't like experiencing things. The thought of death has always been extremely comforting even when I was very young. I've never belonged here.
Hiraeth Grimoire
Longing to answer the call of the Void
- May 21, 2022
- 154
I would consider my life a series of unfortunate events, but I would say my relationship did me in.
RainAndSadness
Administrator
- Jun 12, 2018
- 2,178
All my abusive ex-partners probably contributed a lot to my current emotional pain, maybe more than anything else. You could definitely say they broke me. Like, getting backstabbed by people you trust the most(!) over and over again is such a traumatic experience. My entire life has been painted by betrayal and I can't trust people anymore. They promise you the world and in the end they completely suck you until you're dry and empty. I don't know why but for some reason I always ended up with horrible people and I failed to see the massive red flags until it was too late. I'm unable to ever enter a relationship or let anyone close to me ever again as a result of that. I've shut down for good.
make_00
404
- Jul 3, 2020
- 58
friendships that were stronger than blood breaking
I lost trust in friendships, I have no words for how deep the ones that broke were.
I don't think I can ever fully trust again
I lost trust in friendships, I have no words for how deep the ones that broke were.
I don't think I can ever fully trust again
Had a pretty much "perfect" life before the covid "vaccine" completely ruined my health. Now I'm disabled and can't work nor study anymore. 15 months have passed already and nothing is getting better. There's still a few treatments I want to try, but I highly doubt I'll ever recover. It's pretty clear to me that I'm dealing with permanent damaged nerves and possibly brain damage. My life is basically over, it's not worth to live the rest of my life in my bed, I'm only fucking 25 years old.
This x1000. My parents just expect me to function like a normal person. I am literally brain damaged how am I being held at a normal standard?
God.
I believed because God loves me i'd always be ok.
Then time showed me otherwise.
Time.
Now its all empty. No love nor any good, nor faith, nor hope.
'who told you about God?' HaHaHa!
even death is not in my reach
I believed because God loves me i'd always be ok.
Then time showed me otherwise.
Time.
Now its all empty. No love nor any good, nor faith, nor hope.
'who told you about God?' HaHaHa!
even death is not in my reach
Really???
Three little letters: I......R.....S. Those fuckers have broken me. The people that work for that organization are the worst human beings that occupy this planet. They have caused me to live my life in constant anxiety. I don't think I can take it anymore!
MidnightDream
Warlock
- Sep 5, 2022
- 740
Yes. I fell pregnant when I was very young and was blackmailed into making a choice I didn't want to make. It broke me, and I don't think I've ever healed. Something will always be missing from my life, that's just how it is now
Lily (Osako)
Everything all at once
- Jul 30, 2022
- 381
Really? I've been reading up on that.
I've been dabbling with microdosing mushrooms in an attempt to realigning my synaptic connections in hopes it will help with, well, something, anything really that has caused a lifetime of depression and anxiety.
I've also tried ecstasy, dmt, and lsd.
The latest I've been looking at is ayahuasca. There are ceremonies out here in the desert I thought I could try.
Can you tell me about your experience and share any words of wisdom?
Likewise
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the mushrooms and all that stuff is really good. Ayahuasca can be good for some for me it caused a nervous breakdown and I now suffer from psychedelic induced ptsd. If you arent in a good place mentally it probably is not a good idea to do it. I have recently been contacted by a lady who later committed suicide right after ayahuasca because she was crying uncontrollably months after the ceremony. I am not saying not to do it as it can help but please weigh your other options first. Ketamine may be a good choice and its gentle.
