
finish.me
I need you to feel this
- Jul 14, 2021
- 142
hi. it's been gettingreally hard recently and i've been thinking a lot about the way i used to be, and ive kept this huge detrimental thing that has been progressively making life harder ever since my last attempt to myself, so im finally gonna talk about it. i want to know if anyone has experienced this: when you realized you had survived or more specifically you were found or stopped from being succesful, did anything change with you mentally? I don't have an internal monologue anymore. I don't fantasize or have the ability to think in depth, like i'm constantly in a foggy haze. My attempt was 5 years ago now, and the one thing that satiated me and made me feel good was sleeping and taking Vicodin to replicate that nice cozy feeling. but i have no access to drugs and i can't sleep, so everything is really horrible at the moment. I wish i could feel something that wasn't discomfort or confusion again.