Has anyone else ever felt that they are not entitled to a painless and dignified death?

[noalarms]

Over the past few years, I have spent much time searching for a method that is peaceful, dignified and quick. All of this research has exposed me to the horrors of dying, and has made me realise that for most people, death is neither peaceful, nor painless, nor quick. I had never truly thought about what death must be like for the most of history, before the invention of anaesthesia and painkillers. I thought of all the horrific ways that someone can die (burning, bleeding to death, drowning, toxic gases), and asked myself, how many human beings have died in such horrible ways, and how many more have survived such agonising torture? I thought of what it must have been like to have been accused of sorcery in 16th-century Europe, and to have experienced the most awful pain that a human can experience. I thought of what it must have been like to have fought in the many wars of history, and of the young men like myself who travelled to far away places with the apprehension of the misery and death that lay ahead of them, and of the women and children who had war brought to them without having any say in the matter. What gives me, having been given almost everything in life, having never experienced the sort of pain that was a staple of life until 75 years ago, (and still is a staple of life for the majority of humans) the right to experience the perfect death that has been denied so many others? I know that millions before me have stared agony in the face, who have decided for themselves that excruciating pain will not deter them, who have sat awaiting a fate that is horrible beyond my comprehension. Their courage inspires me, as does the courage of the billions for whom the luxuries of modern life were the contents of paradise.

A peaceful death is what I would prefer, but I constantly ask myself, does it respect the sacrifices of those who lived before me? I have already decided to reject the world that was built upon the willing suffering of millions of human beings (and the unwilling suffering of millions more). I have decided that I will not honor the sacrifices made for me by parents, who have spent their lives toiling so that I could have opportunities that others do not. I have been given so much, more than almost anyone who is alive today, and I will reject it all, for no other reason than that life is inconvenient and boring, even when it is not plagued by illness, war, crime, toil and persecution. And yet I expect more: I expect that I, a young, healthy, and affluent person, have a right to a peaceful death. In the light of things, this expectation seems almost pretentious. What right have I to what has been denied to so many others, to what is solely the right of those who, for whatever reason, have earned it?

Finally, I don't intend to invalidate the suffering of anyone who comes from a similar background as me, I am only speaking for myself, and I am still not entirely sure what method I will eventually choose, only that I will die by my own hand. Perhaps I'm am wrong about all of this; perhaps a peaceful death is the right of all.

 

[houseofleaves]

And yet I expect more: I expect that I, a young, healthy, and affluent person, have a right to a peaceful death. In the light of things, this expectation seems almost pretentious. What right have I to what has been denied to so many others, to what is solely the right of those who, for whatever reason, have earned it?

+

 

[Suicidebydeath]

The world is unfair. People that don't have a painless and dignified life could at least have a death.

 

[chyme]

I struggle with this a lot.
On one hand, I feel like I don't deserve to live. On the other hand, I feel undeserving of suicide; what gives me the right to cut my suffering short?
I don't know. When the time comes, I plan on throat-cutting. It's important to my guilty conscience me that pain and discomfort are part of the experience.

 

[noalarms]

I struggle with this a lot.
On one hand, I feel like I don't deserve to live. On the other hand, I feel undeserving of suicide; what gives me the right to cut my suffering short?
I don't know. When the time comes, I plan on throat-cutting. It's important to my guilty conscience me that pain and discomfort are part of the experience.

This is exactly what I'm getting at - although cutting and burning are the two methods that I don't think I could ever do. I still feel like I am not deserving of anything less painful.

 

[Sans]

Yes. To all of the dickheads who pick on suicidal people and others at the bottom of society and brand us as "entitled", you're right this time. I am entitled to a painless and dignified death. Death is a human right as much as life is.

 

[SuzeWantsOut]

You had nothing to Do with the suffering of others. Should you die painfully, you will not mitigate their suffering in any way.

I know nothing about you, other than what you have shared, but I sense some religiously induced guilt: you should suffer because others have.

No one should die a painful death. We don't let our beloved animals continue to suffer—why we make human beings live it to the very bitter end, I don't know, but i suspect Jude's Christian dogmatic beliefs have a lot to do with it.

When I go, I hope it's just like going to sleep. I have already suffered terribly, and if anyone should know that emotional-mental-psychic pain is every bit as painful as physical pain, i would think it would be those here, posting.

Your pain will never alleviate or atone for the suffering of others. Try thinking on that.

That said: I myself have wondered about the extreme horror of burning at the sake. Human beings are the worst things tha have ever happened on his earth. Some have burned others to death, on purpose. How horrifying. And again, to me, I see the religiousness at the root of this horror.

 

[On Replay]

Yeah. Only because of the religious beliefs I grew up with though I guess. If someone so perfect who did no wrong died a brutal death, I deserve nothing less right

 

[TydalWave]

Over the past few years, I have spent much time searching for a method that is peaceful, dignified and quick. All of this research has exposed me to the horrors of dying, and has made me realise that for most people, death is neither peaceful, nor painless, nor quick. I had never truly thought about what death must be like for the most of history, before the invention of anaesthesia and painkillers. I thought of all the horrific ways that someone can die (burning, bleeding to death, drowning, toxic gases), and asked myself, how many human beings have died in such horrible ways, and how many more have survived such agonising torture? I thought of what it must have been like to have been accused of sorcery in 16th-century Europe, and to have experienced the most awful pain that a human can experience. I thought of what it must have been like to have fought in the many wars of history, and of the young men like myself who travelled to far away places with the apprehension of the misery and death that lay ahead of them, and of the women and children who had war brought to them without having any say in the matter. What gives me, having been given almost everything in life, having never experienced the sort of pain that was a staple of life until 75 years ago, (and still is a staple of life for the majority of humans) the right to experience the perfect death that has been denied so many others? I know that millions before me have stared agony in the face, who have decided for themselves that excruciating pain will not deter them, who have sat awaiting a fate that is horrible beyond my comprehension. Their courage inspires me, as does the courage of the billions for whom the luxuries of modern life were the contents of paradise.

A peaceful death is what I would prefer, but I constantly ask myself, does it respect the sacrifices of those who lived before me? I have already decided to reject the world that was built upon the willing suffering of millions of human beings (and the unwilling suffering of millions more). I have decided that I will not honor the sacrifices made for me by parents, who have spent their lives toiling so that I could have opportunities that others do not. I have been given so much, more than almost anyone who is alive today, and I will reject it all, for no other reason than that life is inconvenient and boring, even when it is not plagued by illness, war, crime, toil and persecution. And yet I expect more: I expect that I, a young, healthy, and affluent person, have a right to a peaceful death. In the light of things, this expectation seems almost pretentious. What right have I to what has been denied to so many others, to what is solely the right of those who, for whatever reason, have earned it?

Finally, I don't intend to invalidate the suffering of anyone who comes from a similar background as me, I am only speaking for myself, and I am still not entirely sure what method I will eventually choose, only that I will die by my own hand. Perhaps I'm am wrong about all of this; perhaps a peaceful death is the right of all.

Personally, I don't think that wanting a peaceful death discredits anyone before us or rejects the sacrifice of those who suffered in their end of lives before us.

After all, if you or I are going to die by our own hands, it makes no difference to humanity if we suffer or die peacefully. If anything, it should provide peace to those around us to know we at least died peacefully. I think our society glorifies those that sacrifice their lifes for a greater good, i.e. those who die with a message for humanity. In my opinion, that doesnt equate to suffering, and nobody should judge you for choosing a less painful way out.

 

[noalarms]

Personally, I don't think that wanting a peaceful death discredits anyone before us or rejects the sacrifice of those who suffered in their end of lives before us.

After all, if you or I are going to die by our own hands, it makes no difference to humanity if we suffer or die peacefully. If anything, it should provide peace to those around us to know we at least died peacefully. I think our society glorifies those that sacrifice their lifes for a greater good, i.e. those who die with a message for humanity. In my opinion, that doesnt equate to suffering, and nobody should judge you for choosing a less painful way out.

In the end, I have chosen jumping as a method, which in theory should not result in much pain, but there is always a risk.

 

[lionetta12]

Over the past few years, I have spent much time searching for a method that is peaceful, dignified and quick. All of this research has exposed me to the horrors of dying, and has made me realise that for most people, death is neither peaceful, nor painless, nor quick. I had never truly thought about what death must be like for the most of history, before the invention of anaesthesia and painkillers. I thought of all the horrific ways that someone can die (burning, bleeding to death, drowning, toxic gases), and asked myself, how many human beings have died in such horrible ways, and how many more have survived such agonising torture? I thought of what it must have been like to have been accused of sorcery in 16th-century Europe, and to have experienced the most awful pain that a human can experience. I thought of what it must have been like to have fought in the many wars of history, and of the young men like myself who travelled to far away places with the apprehension of the misery and death that lay ahead of them, and of the women and children who had war brought to them without having any say in the matter. What gives me, having been given almost everything in life, having never experienced the sort of pain that was a staple of life until 75 years ago, (and still is a staple of life for the majority of humans) the right to experience the perfect death that has been denied so many others? I know that millions before me have stared agony in the face, who have decided for themselves that excruciating pain will not deter them, who have sat awaiting a fate that is horrible beyond my comprehension. Their courage inspires me, as does the courage of the billions for whom the luxuries of modern life were the contents of paradise.

A peaceful death is what I would prefer, but I constantly ask myself, does it respect the sacrifices of those who lived before me? I have already decided to reject the world that was built upon the willing suffering of millions of human beings (and the unwilling suffering of millions more). I have decided that I will not honor the sacrifices made for me by parents, who have spent their lives toiling so that I could have opportunities that others do not. I have been given so much, more than almost anyone who is alive today, and I will reject it all, for no other reason than that life is inconvenient and boring, even when it is not plagued by illness, war, crime, toil and persecution. And yet I expect more: I expect that I, a young, healthy, and affluent person, have a right to a peaceful death. In the light of things, this expectation seems almost pretentious. What right have I to what has been denied to so many others, to what is solely the right of those who, for whatever reason, have earned it?

Finally, I don't intend to invalidate the suffering of anyone who comes from a similar background as me, I am only speaking for myself, and I am still not entirely sure what method I will eventually choose, only that I will die by my own hand. Perhaps I'm am wrong about all of this; perhaps a peaceful death is the right of all.

The only thing that's making me feel that I'm not entitled to a painless and dignified death, is society with how they shame suiciders in every way possible and make every peaceful method impossible to obtain and achieve by putting horrible laws in place that makes it hard or impossible to get assisted suicide for example, to get pure nitrogen, with how difficult obtaining morphine is, and so on.

 

[noalarms]

The only thing that's making me feel that I'm not entitled to a painless and dignified death, is society with how they shame suiciders in every way possible and make every peaceful method impossible to obtain and achieve by putting horrible laws in place that makes it hard or impossible to get assisted suicide for example, to get pure nitrogen, with how difficult obtaining morphine is, and so on.

This is why I don't favor drugs or gas as a method. As soons as the suppliers find out that people are using their products to ctb, they will restrict access. There are certain methods that will always be effective, however, and it just so happens that these methods tend to be less peaceful. This was the point that I failed to make in my original post, that ctb is not difficult if your willing to experience minutes or even seconds of pain or panic. Methods such as jumping, hanging and drowning are extremely reliable compared to drugs. The search for a peacefull pill is futile in the world we inhabit; the authorities will do everything they can to make it as difficult as possible to poison or gas yourself. However, there is very little they can do to stop people from hanging themselves or jumping to their deaths. Rope is readily available; as are high places (the erection of suicide barries makes jumping from a height more difficult, but cliffs and multi-storey buildings will always be accessible. The only truly peaceful pill is N, which is difficult to acquire without getting scammed or being arrested for trafficking. SN is the next best thing, but it is in now way guaranteed to peaceful and is quite slow. You also need anti-emetics for these methods, which for most people will involve lying to a doctor to get a prescription, and thus involve others in your death. I'm not shaming people for preferring a peaceful death; I just have the feeling that a lot of people on this site are wasting their time and money searching for methods that will give them a perfect death, when there are readily availabe methods that involve very little pain (jumping being the best example). I personally could not bring myself to ctb by full suspension hanging, but there are plenty of people who will because they have a higher pain tolerance and, more importantly they want it more than I do. I think there are some (not all!) people on this forum who aren't ready to ctb yet, so they spend time waiting to order N or SN and ignoring other methods. I include myself in this category; I only very recently convinced myself that I will ctb by jumping, after spending months trying stupid methods like ODing on caffeine and liquorice. I will probably waver when the time comes to ctb, and will waste another 3 months trying to order salts or drugs. The point of my post was to say that a lot of people (myself included) are kidding themselves about finding a completely peaceful suicide method. People who CTB 200 years ago had no access to the kind of methods that exist today, but they made do with hanging, drowning, and jumping. They no doubt suffered more than someone who takes N or SN would, but only briefly, and then ceased to exist.This option is available to all of us. You could wake up tomorrow and choose any one of these methods and be dead that very same day. I think (some) people who avoid these methods are just waiting around in the hope that something will change that will convince themselves not to CTB, or maybe it's just because of SI. That was the point I failed to make in the post, I think I was tired while writing it and did not articulate myself very well.

 

[TydalWave]

This is why I don't favor drugs or gas as a method. As soons as the suppliers find out that people are using their products to ctb, they will restrict access. There are certain methods that will always be effective, however, and it just so happens that these methods tend to be less peaceful. This was the point that I failed to make in my original post, that ctb is not difficult if your willing to experience minutes or even seconds of pain or panic. Methods such as jumping, hanging and drowning are extremely reliable compared to drugs. The search for a peacefull pill is futile in the world we inhabit; the authorities will do everything they can to make it as difficult as possible to poison or gas yourself. However, there is very little they can do to stop people from hanging themselves or jumping to their deaths. Rope is readily available; as are high places (the erection of suicide barries makes jumping from a height more difficult, but cliffs and multi-storey buildings will always be accessible. The only truly peaceful pill is N, which is difficult to acquire without getting scammed or being arrested for trafficking. SN is the next best thing, but it is in now way guaranteed to peaceful and is quite slow. You also need anti-emetics for these methods, which for most people will involve lying to a doctor to get a prescription, and thus involve others in your death. I'm not shaming people for preferring a peaceful death; I just have the feeling that a lot of people on this site are wasting their time and money searching for methods that will give them a perfect death, when there are readily availabe methods that involve very little pain (jumping being the best example). I personally could not bring myself to ctb by full suspension hanging, but there are plenty of people who will because they have a higher pain tolerance and, more importantly they want it more than I do. I think there are some (not all!) people on this forum who aren't ready to ctb yet, so they spend time waiting to order N or SN and ignoring other methods. I include myself in this category; I only very recently convinced myself that I will ctb by jumping, after spending months trying stupid methods like ODing on caffeine and liquorice. I will probably waver when the time comes to ctb, and will waste another 3 months trying to order salts or drugs. The point of my post was to say that a lot of people (myself included) are kidding themselves about finding a completely peaceful suicide method. People who CTB 200 years ago had no access to the kind of methods that exist today, but they made do with hanging, drowning, and jumping. They no doubt suffered more than someone who takes N or SN would, but only briefly, and then ceased to exist.This option is available to all of us. You could wake up tomorrow and choose any one of these methods and be dead that very same day. I think (some) people who avoid these methods are just waiting around in the hope that something will change that will convince themselves not to CTB, or maybe it's just because of SI. That was the point I failed to make in the post, I think I was tired while writing it and did not articulate myself very well.

My god that is one hell of a paragraph. Break that shit down next time