Has anybody spoken to a therapist and disclosed their ctb intentions?

[ddutch]

My doctor knows it and my new psychologist knows it now. But i have her now because of the euthanasia process that is starting soon for me.

They know i have my back up to do it myself when the euthanasia wont give a green light. It scared her but it is my own choice and i have patience to wait.
But can leave when i want, they just keep the finger on it. they know i wont accept therapy anymore.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

The only thing we're born into this world with is our body. Thats the only thing we keep with us our entire lives. The fact it's criminalized to do with our one worldly possession what we will with it is the exact opposite of freedom.

It is that is the same reason why it´s so tyrannical to lock people up for drugs, humans has used drugs for tens of thousands of years if not more but in the last 100-200 years they have become illegal and if you were found with drugs on you or let me rephrase that if you were found with illegal drugs on you (not alcohol) then the police will arrest you (kidnap) you and depending on the quantity you might be locked up for years or even life just because a select few in power has made something they didn´t like illegal.

Like in Denmark we have 179 politicians in office so those 179 people will decide the law over 6+ million people, so if they don´t like drugs or anything else THEY don´t like they will make that illegal, that is tyranny that is just having multiple dictators enforcing their beliefs over millions just because THEY don´t like it, that is a fucking dictator, but of course the sheep don´t see this they are too brainwashed they will even defend the people who force these laws upon them.

 

[Roberto]

I guess it's different in Spain, I told 3 different psychiatrists and nurses and noone did anything. I think deep inside they don't give a fuck, they simply do their job and that's it. Besides, I told them I would do it when my parents die and that will take a long time. What I can't say is that I am hoarding amitriptyline cocktails because I will stop getting those, as far as they can tell it's for depression and anxiety.

I'm from Spain also. They don't give me the amytriptiline, I bought it from the internet. I hope they didn't cheat me.

 

[deflagrat]

I'm from Spain also. They don't give me the amytriptiline, I bought it from the internet. I hope they didn't cheat me.

Go to your local psychiatrist, and ask him for amitriptyline and Diazepam. They will give it to you if you give them reasons (anxiety and depression). I don't have any previous suicide attempts, that helps.

 

[Roberto]

Go to your local psychiatrist, and ask him for amitriptyline and Diazepam. They will give it to you if you give them reasons (anxiety and depression). I don't have any previous suicide attempts, that helps.

I thought amytriptiline wasn't used these days because of the quite low lethal dose. Ok. I've just had a visit to the psychiatrist and agreed to continue with sertraline. But I don't need amytriptiline. I'll try with what I bought. Another problem is that it has 10 years old the medication. I hope it doesn't degrade much.

 

[ManWithNoName]

I'm from Spain also. They don't give me the amytriptiline, I bought it from the internet. I hope they didn't cheat me.

How easy would it be to get KCN (potassium cyanide) in Spain? In fact, as I think about it now, since they most likely do not manufacture potassium cyanide in tablets for human consumption, I'm starting to think that the source would have to be from a chemist.

I guess it's different in Spain, I told 3 different psychiatrists and nurses and noone did anything. I think deep inside they don't give a fuck, they simply do their job and that's it.

Maybe they don't care, or maybe they genuinely respect that people have the right to die.

 

[Tabbyql]

I gave date and method to crisis team (uk)
Nothing happened. Didn't care, probably thought I was trying to get attention or sumfin.

 

[Fucking loving it]

Was it traumatizing? My trip to one of those places was horrific and I will never forget it as long as I live.

I have never had a terrible experience in any of the psych wards I have been in. Some hospitals are better than others but I was never traumatized.

 

[GeorgeJL]

I said to my psychologist that I had the mediums already to suicide. I had the amytriptiline cocktail.. She says that it's ok. They can't stop me from doing it. So ... I'm freee!
It's obvious that the state don't care. As long I don't make harm to anyone and follow the laws.

By law I think she was suppose to report you to the police or something because you had the means to end your life. You got lucky.

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

Has anybody spoken to a therapist and disclosed their ctb intentions?

If so, what were their reactions? Did he / she respect that right to die is as valid as the right to life?

I told a "friend" psychiatrist I was suicidal. ONCE. In under an hour the police had broken into my apartment and dragged me into an ambulance. Under no circumstances would I ever tell a therapist I am suicidal. They'd act unperturbed, asking you how prepared you are (to assess your suicide risk). If they feel you're a danger to yourself, BAM! you're a prisoner.

I said to my psychologist that I had the mediums already to suicide. I had the amytriptiline cocktail.. She says that it's ok. They can't stop me from doing it. So ... I'm freee!
It's obvious that the state don't care. As long I don't make harm to anyone and follow the laws.

What country are you in, please?

My trip to one of those places was horrific and I will never forget it as long as I live.

Ditto!

The only thing we're born into this world with is our body. Thats the only thing we keep with us our entire lives. The fact it's criminalized to do with our one worldly possession what we will with it is the exact opposite of freedom.

If you're ever really bored and totally alone, pull the blinds on your window, put on the overhead lights, grab a shaving or compact mirror, strip naked and bend over and lie on your back positioning the mirror by your bottom. Grab your left ankle with your left hand so your buttocks are pulled as far apart as possible. Scrutinize the tender inner meat of your left buttock near your groin. You might need a magnifying glass but you can find the tiny scar-like stamp there placed on all children as they clamp off the umbilical cord, "Property of Country X."

 

[ArtsyDrawer]

In a way. My therapist is an online one. I made sure that he's from an entirely different continent and has zero influence in the middle East. It's mostly rant therapy, though he does a great job at catching... Things... And analyzing the fuck out of them until we reach a conclusion that leaves me stunned for two-three days. Kinda Hollywood-y, but it works.

 

[whatever1111]

this thread is really interesting, tnx for sharing.
one part of me wants to try to talk to a therapist, but my suicidal ideation is stopping me - I hate lying, and I'm afraid to tell them the state I'm in.. my suicidal thoughts are ego-syntonic, which means a large part of me thinks death is the best option for me, but I'm also grieving that things worked out this way... would be at least a little bit simpler if I knew I could trust the doctors. its such a complicated situation emotionally

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

this thread is really interesting, tnx for sharing.
one part of me wants to try to talk to a therapist, but my suicidal ideation is stopping me - I hate lying, and I'm afraid to tell them the state I'm in.. my suicidal thoughts are ego-syntonic, which means a large part of me thinks death is the best option for me, but I'm also grieving that things worked out this way... would be at least a little bit simpler if I knew I could trust the doctors. its such a complicated situation emotionally

If you'd ever like to chat privately, please PM me. I feel very, very similar to what you describe here ("a large part of me thinks death is the best option for me, but I'm also grieving that things worked out this way"). And it remains depressing understanding I cannot trust doctors (or any other professionals, thanks to their legal obligations). Peace.

 

[Cookiedough8956]

I said to my psychologist that I had the mediums already to suicide. I had the amytriptiline cocktail.. She says that it's ok. They can't stop me from doing it. So ... I'm freee!
It's obvious that the state don't care. As long I don't make harm to anyone and follow the laws.

what the heck? If I say something like that- midway shes gonna leave the room and come in two damn police officers. No thanks..how embarrassing.

 

[Jean Améry]

Why the heck would anyone willingly admit to what amounts to a crime in almost all societies? De facto, not de jure.

To answer your question: no. I stayed well clear of that subject or remained vague when pressed. Which is why the bastards never got me. Legally they need to hear you confess before they are allowed to lock you up.

At one point I was staying in a mental ward voluntarily (stupid I know but I was young back then and didn't know any better) and the whole mess there (them being unable to actually help me) made me accutely suicidal. Luckily I still had sense enough to keep it to myself. I did tell one fellow patient I was hurting terribly and she urged me to tell the staff. There and then I realized psychiatry is completely and utterly useless: you can't talk about stuff you really want to talk about or they'll be hell to pay. Those people are not interested in your feelings nor your suffering, they only want to preserve your life at all costs so they can cash their paychecks.

If you want to end up in a closed mental ward by all means admit you want to die, even better when you have a specific plan and the means to do it.

 

[Quinlor]

I don't hide of my therapist the fact that I thinking in kill my self. In fact I have angry of her because she always tells me: "if you really wanted to do this we didn't would have this conversation, you already would be dead!" I hate her so much for saying this to me.

 

[Cookiedough8956]

I don't hide of my therapist the fact that I thinking in kill my self. In fact I have angry of her because she always tells me: "if you really wanted do this we didn't would have this conversation, you already would be dead!" I hate her so much for saying this to me.

Omg, I hate this statement so much!! "If you really wanted to die, you'd do it by now." True, I would've, if I can get rid of the damn s.i. and that I'm not scared, I just need reassurance its gonna work!

 

[Quinlor]

Omg, I hate this statement so much!! "If you really wanted to die, you'd do it by now." True, I would've, if I can get rid of the damn s.i. and that I'm not scared, I just need reassurance its gonna work!

Actually in my therapist's head this statement meaning that if I still alive is because I want to live or something...

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

I don't hide of my therapist the fact that I thinking in kill my self. In fact I have angry of her because she always tells me: "if you really wanted do this we didn't would have this conversation, you already would be dead!" I hate her so much for saying this to me.

I'd fire her. That's unacceptable. Very sorry.

 

[Jean Améry]

I don't hide of my therapist the fact that I thinking in kill my self. In fact I have angry of her because she always tells me: "if you really wanted do this we didn't would have this conversation, you already would be dead!" I hate her so much for saying this to me.

Probably some reverse psychology trick. Still rather cold and heartless.

 

[Cookiedough8956]

Actually in my therapist's head this statement meaning that if I still alive is because I want to live or something...

She knows what she said, now shes sugar coating it. Thats how I see it. sorry.

Trust me I know something of saying something cruel, and then switching it around to make it seem like what I said was it good intention, (it wasn't) but worded wrongly so now you can forgive me and I'm a great person. ()

K, maybe I'm getting out of line here..

 

[Jean Améry]

I have. I was hospitalized on the spot. The hospital is across the street from where I get counseling. Two security guards walked me over. I was told I go voluntarily or be committed. I went voluntarily. I don't want any judge making decisions for me. Fuck that. BIG mistake.

You didn't really go voluntarily: they forced your hand. It's like saying 'you're free to do what you want but you'll get hurt if you don't do as I say'. A great many people get locked up that way: it's involuntary commitment in disguise and completely scews the numbers. It's hypocrisy, pure and simple and it probably serves to make their crimes more palpatable to them: they didn't really force you, you went voluntarily didn't you?

It might make you get out quicker but imo it also takes away the small measure of legal protection you might have in court proceedings. Of course that's usually bogus too. Psychiatry is an arm of the state and the legal system (also part of the government) is usually in cahoots with it. In most cases it does nothing more but lend an air of fairness and legal procedure to an grotesque, farsical perversion of justice.

 

[Fucking loving it]

You didn't really go voluntarily: they forced your hand. It's like saying 'you're free to do what you want but you'll get hurt if you don't do as I say'. A great many people get locked up that way: it's involuntary commitment in disguise and completely scews the numbers. It's hypocrisy, pure and simple and it probably serves to make their crimes more palpatable to them: they didn't really force you, you went voluntarily didn't you?

It might make you get out quicker but imo it also takes away the small measure of legal protection you might have in court proceedings. Of course that's usually bogus too. Psychiatry is an arm of the state and the legal system (also part of the government) is usually in cahoots with it. In most cases it does nothing more but lend an air of fairness and legal procedure to an grotesque, farsical perversion of justice.

Its true. To me it's a lot better than being told what to do by a judge.

 

[Meretlein]

I told a "friend" psychiatrist I was suicidal. ONCE. In under an hour the police had broken into my apartment and dragged me into an ambulance. Under no circumstances would I ever tell a therapist I am suicidal. They'd act unperturbed, asking you how prepared you are (to assess your suicide risk). If they feel you're a danger to yourself, BAM! you're a prisoner.


What country are you in, please?


Ditto!



If you're ever really bored and totally alone, pull the blinds on your window, put on the overhead lights, grab a shaving or compact mirror, strip naked and bend over and lie on your back positioning the mirror by your bottom. Grab your left ankle with your left hand so your buttocks are pulled as far apart as possible. Scrutinize the tender inner meat of your left buttock near your groin. You might need a magnifying glass but you can find the tiny scar-like stamp there placed on all children as they clamp off the umbilical cord, "Property of Country X."

I'm so glad i'm not alone in being traumatized by those places.

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

I'm so glad i'm not alone in being traumatized by those places.

We're absolutely not alone. Sectioning/involuntary commitment is known to be an independent risk factor for suicide, even AFTER people escape, I mean, um, are discharged from the wards. Anyone can Google the many, many horror stories of people who've suffered through involuntary commitments. They can be so bad that insurance companies have had to design special policies for psychiatrists and clinical psychologists--and some insurance companies no longer carry either.

 

[ShadowOfTheDay]

Omg, I hate this statement so much!! "If you really wanted to die, you'd do it by now." True, I would've, if I can get rid of the damn s.i. and that I'm not scared, I just need reassurance its gonna work!
[/QUOTE

I don't hide of my therapist the fact that I thinking in kill my self. In fact I have angry of her because she always tells me: "if you really wanted to do this we didn't would have this conversation, you already would be dead!" I hate her so much for saying this to me.

Wow. What a shitty, condecending thing for her to say!

 

[Santiago]

Yes, but he just ignored it pretty much by changing subjects. He played it of as if my intentions weren't legit.
Never went back.

 

[Jodes]

I dont know about outside the US but inside if you tell them you plan on killing yourself theyre legally required to do something. (Aka lock you away). If your talking about just casual conversation like "oh ive had suicidal thoughts for years but im handling it" then, at least in my experience, theyll let it slide.

In the UK (I presume to save money ultimately driving the pressure via dehumanising stats) the NHS is increasingly misdiagnosing them as cries for help, mainly patients with borderline personality so turn them away. Increasing numbers are hence killing themselves. In the UK, you can say you're going to kill yourselves, lie in the doorway of accident and emergency for 6 hours and they'll only then get a psychiatrist to talk to you. Then they'll ask what you think if they say nothing's wrong with you.
L-M-F-A-O

Fuck this planet

 

[ManWithNoName]

Just had a chat with my college who is a psychiatrist. It was a chat via Skype - he's in south America and I'm here in the States. He doesn't know where I am exactly anyway. I've known him for years and first time I spoke with him as someone in need of advice. He told me he can't stand any kind of institutions that hold people against their will.

That was reassuring for me anyway. I don't mind confiding in him. If and when I ctb I want to make it the most informed decision of my life - and chatting with him I think will help.

 

[FullCircle]

I can talk openly about my thoughts and my therapist knows I have a plan. As long as I'm willing to make steps to avoid acting on it, she wont call the cops.
Legally, mental health professionals are obligated to report someone who is a danger to themself or others. The trick is finding someone who sees hospitalization as a last resort to keep you safe rather than a safety net for their career.