• New TOR Mirror: suicidffbey666ur5gspccbcw2zc7yoat34wbybqa3boei6bysflbvqd.onion

  • Hey Guest,

    If you want to donate, we have a thread with updated donation options here at this link: About Donations

apatired

apatired

Member
Mar 15, 2024
19
Sorry for my bad english btw…

I just wanna share my story on how my ctb works and i would document here my experiences

ive been looking for many ways of method how to ctb including resources here like SN, hanging, drowning, N, and many more. I was researching also various of methods outside here and one time I stumbled a news article where a gamer died in taiwan for gaming for 2days i guess which resulted him to die because of heart attack or seizure idk i think his brain went bohoo (im bad with words sorry)

It says there that Its a rare chance and people speculating how he died. So theres this one comment that the way the gamer died because of cardiac arrest and hes been staying still for many hours resulting his bodyor heart failed..

Ive been awake for 2 days now and playing a game and just sitting with the same position.
Sometimes i nap while sitting and waking up again to continue playing game.

I only drink water and only eating biscuits on this journey and i definetly feeling the changes on my body.
I have a minor headache now and my eyes hurt.
My body sometimes feeling very cold.
And also theres this one time when i stand up suddenly to pee, i got dizzy and my vision suddenly goes black slowly and i thought that was it but not..

So yeah.. idk if this works, im doing my best right now until HOPEFULLY i passed out or something major will happen.
Im not planning to stop until i die and i will post my updates here .. lets see if this works. Idont care anymore. I ordered SN from china and it would take 1 or 2 months to arrived and i cant wait any longer.

Godspeed everyone
 
apatired

apatired

Member
Mar 15, 2024
19
I hope you achieve what you are looking for but this just sounds like torturing yourself to me or damaging yourself without dying. Be careful.
Honestly i couldnt care less anymore whats gonna happen, ive been living like this since i got fired and im running out money. This life is too harsh man… i wish i will really die on this one.. thank you for the concern btw
 
dragonofenvy

dragonofenvy

Mage
Oct 8, 2023
516
Honestly i couldnt care less anymore whats gonna happen, ive been living like this since i got fired and im running out money. This life is too harsh man… i wish i will really die on this one.. thank you for the concern btw
If that's the case, good luck and best wishes to you. I hope things work out.
 
  • Like
Reactions: apatired
apatired

apatired

Member
Mar 15, 2024
19
If that's the case, good luck and best wishes to you. I hope things work out.
Thank you so much for the kind words 🤍
Just an update, its been 2 days and half now, in my surprise im actually kinda energetic and positive. Im watching random videos on youtube and facebook right now however my left leg is kinda numb and my left shoulder is stiffed but not painful i think its numb if that makes any sense. Im actually thinking streaming on twitch or any streaming sites and like streaming for dayss, should I? xD
+5 energy drinks for a boost.. hmm
Maybe God is already taking a pity for me now lol
 
Last edited:
  • Hugs
Reactions: SVEN
S

Scythe

Lost in a delusion
Sep 5, 2022
489
Creative way to die, good luck and have fun. What are u playing?
 
R

rozeske

Maybe I am the problem
Dec 2, 2023
2,532
There are relatively a lot quicker, safer and peaceful methods than your choice but if you decided on it I wish you luck and peace.
 
  • Love
Reactions: apatired
Mizu

Mizu

Member
Mar 17, 2024
7
I have to agree with a few others it does sound like torture, but I can respect that you wish to go this way and I hope you best in the endeavor.
 
apatired

apatired

Member
Mar 15, 2024
19
I admit its pretty torturing but im used to this situation as ive done this before. Im really trying my hard to last until ill get fucked up.. im having fun actually so its not really that bad and im really immersed
 
apatired

apatired

Member
Mar 15, 2024
19
Update.. idk how to track time but yeah.. my left eye is twitching and getting watery. And i can feel and hear my heartbeat even with headphones on.. is it near?? I guess i have to find out. Oh and also i sometimes dozed off for a minute and get back to gaming. It recovers my energy a bit
 
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

She wished that she never existed...
Sep 24, 2020
34,102
I hope that you find the freedom you search for, best of luck in your plans.
 
  • Love
Reactions: apatired
apatired

apatired

Member
Mar 15, 2024
19
I fell asleep for 3 hours while sitting down . Man this hard but im enjoying it tbh.. so it goes on
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: rozeske
M

MrShino

Student
Jul 8, 2021
120
I'm sorry you have come to this, man, but I don't think this will really work at all. You said you read in an article that it happened - but that's just a single case and you don't even know what hit him (if it was seizures or smth else). I don't really think it's possible (at least not likely to happen) to stay awake gaming till your body shuts down on purpose. Most likely it will eventuall pass out into sleep because of fatigue. I really wish you peace and freedom and hope you solve things out eventually tho.
 
TheGoodGuy

TheGoodGuy

Visionary
Aug 27, 2018
2,906
I remember that article you´re talking about although I am not sure if the one I read was from Taiwan or South Korea but it´s most likely the same, good luck though.
 
  • Like
Reactions: apatired
T

theEndCH

almost gone.
Aug 29, 2023
64
The world record of sleep deprivation is 11 days 2 hours by Tony Bright. Nourishments and liquids also gives your body what it needs. I more think he had a pre-existing disease or involved substances like caffeine or energy drinks which sometimes causes a heart attacks. Death by sleep deprivation can take months (i read 6 months to 3 years) and before a death you more likely force yourself into sleep disturbances.
 
  • Like
Reactions: apatired
apatired

apatired

Member
Mar 15, 2024
19
Update.. im doing good and im still gaming, its been 5 days i guess and everything is still intact.
I dont have any proper long sleep, all just quick or random naps that i encounter while my head is feeling really tight and my legs are numbing.
Having cold sweats and eye twitches, sometimes feeling nausea (maybe because of energy drinks)

My room is total darkness and have not seen any sunlight since.
Im currently playing mount and blade warband its an old game with medieval setting. Its a fun game i feel like i reincarnated to the medieval times.

im really just waiting that my body will collapse and all my system will fail. I couldn't give a single crap anymore. There's no turning back!
Wish me luck with this impossible journey of mine! ❤️
 
R

rozeske

Maybe I am the problem
Dec 2, 2023
2,532
Wish me luck with this impossible journey of mine! ❤️
Am hoping you can soon succeed in this insane plan of yous without too much discomfort and pain. Good luck @apatired hope you are enjoying your medieval game ❤️
 
  • Love
Reactions: apatired
Z

zzeroo

Member
Mar 6, 2024
51
I also wondered if I played a realistic horror VR game I could possibly have a heart attack and quickly pass. I wish you the best in whatever happens..
 
apatired

apatired

Member
Mar 15, 2024
19
How are you doing apatired?
unfortunately, still alive..
I think this one fails as i always fell asleep sitting down for atleast an hour but goes back to gaming again.. idk if this still works but im still continuing. Im starving but couldnt care less to eat im literally broke now. I really hope to die due to starvation, sleep deprivation or other things that hopefully will resulted to heart attack or cardiac arrest…

stupidly enough, i dont play games rn im just searching web and sometimes here just lurking around.. im trying to find a job also online maybe just to sustain this shitty remaining life.. so yeah.. i hope this suffering will have great results
 
arthurkuzechov

arthurkuzechov

Student
Mar 15, 2024
100
Sorry for my bad english btw…

I just wanna share my story on how my ctb works and i would document here my experiences

ive been looking for many ways of method how to ctb including resources here like SN, hanging, drowning, N, and many more. I was researching also various of methods outside here and one time I stumbled a news article where a gamer died in taiwan for gaming for 2days i guess which resulted him to die because of heart attack or seizure idk i think his brain went bohoo (im bad with words sorry)

It says there that Its a rare chance and people speculating how he died. So theres this one comment that the way the gamer died because of cardiac arrest and hes been staying still for many hours resulting his bodyor heart failed..

Ive been awake for 2 days now and playing a game and just sitting with the same position.
Sometimes i nap while sitting and waking up again to continue playing game.

I only drink water and only eating biscuits on this journey and i definetly feeling the changes on my body.
I have a minor headache now and my eyes hurt.
My body sometimes feeling very cold.
And also theres this one time when i stand up suddenly to pee, i got dizzy and my vision suddenly goes black slowly and i thought that was it but not..

So yeah.. idk if this works, im doing my best right now until HOPEFULLY i passed out or something major will happen.
Im not planning to stop until i die and i will post my updates here .. lets see if this works. Idont care anymore. I ordered SN from china and it would take 1 or 2 months to arrived and i cant wait any longer.

Godspeed everyone
Hello there! How are you doing? Are you still with us? I hope that you plan worked or you are alive and at good feeling. Send you much love.
P.S I also love old games like Shadow Warrior 1997, Flat out 2 and sometime I play Talisman Digital Edition)
 
  • Love
Reactions: grahf
BackToLobby

BackToLobby

Devastated
Apr 9, 2024
35
Any update? I want to try this next week with Vyvanse pills (ADHD stimulants) but idk if it's going to be worth it. The longest I stayed awake with this pills it's 2 days but I didn't notice anything. Maybe I will try this playing league of legends, just chatting, watching films or idk and share it in Kick
 
Last edited:

Similar threads

ringo99
Replies
5
Views
140
Suicide Discussion
an_alias
an_alias
i dont feel real.
Replies
8
Views
255
Recovery
arnxxx
arnxxx
Ociv
Replies
1
Views
83
Suicide Discussion
snailfish
snailfish
lackadazeE
Replies
9
Views
190
Suicide Discussion
Blue Elephant
Blue Elephant