mold
local fungi
- Jun 25, 2019
- 130
2025 has been hell for me, and if 2025 was hell, 2026 is super hell, lmao. For the past 2 months, I've not felt genuine joy, just mild happiness(? not sure what to call this feeling. Maybe there are better words for it.) and my depression, anxiety, BPD, and worst of all PTSD has gotten to a point where I cannot function. To top it all off, my old drinking habits came back, and I tripped, hitting my head, which then led to a concussion (great!).
However, just a few moments ago I found DSL's website (it took me 3 weeks, I guess I'm either really stupid, or being bilingual with a concussion doesn't really help haha) and I felt so much... joy? Relief? Happiness? I can't explain it. I actually smiled seeing that dumb website that sent me on a wild goose chase for 3 weeks. The fact that death can actually happen and I'll be free makes me happy. It's sad to say/write such a thing aloud. But I'm happy to know death isn't as far or as painful as I thought. Does any one else who decided it's finally time to go feel this way?
(P.S. I know the rules of the forum, I will not be providing access to the website or any hints, sorry... I trust that you are all smarter and healthier in the head than me and won't take 3 weeks to search
)
However, just a few moments ago I found DSL's website (it took me 3 weeks, I guess I'm either really stupid, or being bilingual with a concussion doesn't really help haha) and I felt so much... joy? Relief? Happiness? I can't explain it. I actually smiled seeing that dumb website that sent me on a wild goose chase for 3 weeks. The fact that death can actually happen and I'll be free makes me happy. It's sad to say/write such a thing aloud. But I'm happy to know death isn't as far or as painful as I thought. Does any one else who decided it's finally time to go feel this way?
(P.S. I know the rules of the forum, I will not be providing access to the website or any hints, sorry... I trust that you are all smarter and healthier in the head than me and won't take 3 weeks to search
)
