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Freedom21

Member
May 25, 2019
33
I have tried for so long trying to pass out with partial. I have tried different positions , socks on the arteries, and almost my full weight. I have bruises and broken capillaries all on my neck. Is there a way to test full safely. I really only have a door and a rail above the stairs. I read you can stay conscious for up to 20 minutes if u can pass out. I have also done full once the stuff I used wasn't strong enough and it broke after a few of minutes. It was highly traumatic and the worst pain I have experienced physically.Is there anyone else that are having just a hard of time as me? Is there a way to do full with a out? I'm also not very handy at all.idk I think if I can't do full safely I need another method and that's so anxiety inducing.

I'm legit housebound right now with anxiety and depression. Chronic illnesses also suck but the anxiety is terrible right now. I just turned 25 and for some reason a switch flipped in my brain and now I'm in constant panic mode because of how far behind in life I am. I don't have a job, no friends , and no degree. I just want out now but not if it means absolutely suffering . I'm pretty sure I can buy a gun but because of anxiety I never learned to drive so I would need a driver's license and my own money because my family is actually very anti gun but I actually do live in Florida idk I'm feeling very overwhelmed and cowardly
Does anyone have advice or also have to absolutely pivot? The partial is really taking a toll on my chronic illnesses so I don't think I can keep trying it.
 
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Uber

Uber

Member
Jan 14, 2023
35
@Freedom21 I'm not able to answer your questions, but I wonder if you like to sail?
 
Huntfish34

Huntfish34

Enlightened
Mar 13, 2020
1,619
Sorry I don't have any advice per say but..... You are still fairly young and I think you can have a good shot at life possibly. Probably not quite what you want to hear , I wish you Nothing but the best in whatever you may decide.

Thoughts and prayers to you-
 
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Freedom21

Member
May 25, 2019
33
@Freedom21 I'm not able to answer your questions, but I wonder if you like to sail?
No but I do like to boat in lakes. Oceans kinda scare my because it's so vast and you have to have more skill.
 
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Uber

Uber

Member
Jan 14, 2023
35
No but I do like to boat in lakes. Oceans kinda scare my because it's so vast and you have to have more skill.
Unsure if you're aware, but "Freedom21" is a small sailboat. That's why I asked.

I'm more comfortable with lakes, too. You probably have lots of options in your area.

A few months ago I picked up a used SOT kayak, but I didn't get it out but a couple of times before it became too cold. I hope to give it more use when warm weather returns.

Have you ever tried a kayak or canoe or do you prefer powerboats? I was thinking of trying one of those prop kits on a cordless drill. LOL
 
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Freedom21

Member
May 25, 2019
33
Unsure if you're aware, but "Freedom21" is a small sailboat. That's why I asked.

I'm more comfortable with lakes, too. You probably have lots of options in your area.

A few months ago I picked up a used SOT kayak, but I didn't get it out but a couple of times before it became too cold. I hope to give it more use when warm weather returns.

Have you ever tried a kayak or canoe or do you prefer powerboats? I was thinking of trying one of those prop kits on a cordless drill. LOL
That's funny I had no idea about the sailboat. I have been on and off this site for a while. When I first created my account I was 21 and I just picked a random word I thought fit.

My family owns a small row boat that we attach a motor to. The boat we have is still in great shape and it's more than a decade old. I think it was from bass pro but I can't tell you the model or price. I don't think it was that expensive though.

Motors wear out more quickly and the battery to power them can be a pain to carry and charge. I will say it's worth it if you have the funds.

I'm not very fit so I can't row or paddle very far. I really like powerboats because you can see everything and get a nice breeze.
 
Uber

Uber

Member
Jan 14, 2023
35
That's funny I had no idea about the sailboat. I have been on and off this site for a while. When I first created my account I was 21 and I just picked a random word I thought fit.

My family owns a small row boat that we attach a motor to. The boat we have is still in great shape and it's more than a decade old. I think it was from bass pro but I can't tell you the model or price. I don't think it was that expensive though.

Motors wear out more quickly and the battery to power them can be a pain to carry and charge. I will say it's worth it if you have the funds.

I'm not very fit so I can't row or paddle very far. I really like powerboats because you can see everything and get a nice breeze.
I was actually speaking of a much simpler motor setup for the kayak. It's a shaft with a propeller that connects to a cordless drill.

Are you able to get your boat out on the lake very often? You could practice rowing a little bit at the time if you wanted to get better at it.. Using the motor does sound like more fun, however. What's your weather like there?
buy a thick, strong rope
@Freedom21 Yes, for tying up at the dock or for an anchor.
 
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Freedom21

Member
May 25, 2019
33
I was actually speaking of a much simpler motor setup for the kayak. It's a shaft with a propeller that connects to a cordless drill.

Are you able to get your boat out on the lake very often? You could practice rowing a little bit at the time if you wanted to get better at it.. Using the motor does sound like more fun, however. What's your weather like there?

@Freedom21 Yes, for tying up at the dock or for an anchor.
I probably should get out on the lake more it's pretty relaxing. The weather is always pretty great if you like the heat. I actually do have a thick dock rope just can't find the sweet spot. Idk I wonder if having a long struggle with bulimia made me more resilient around the throat. Forceful vomiting causes so much pressure.
 
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Uber

Uber

Member
Jan 14, 2023
35
I probably should get out on the lake more it's pretty relaxing. The weather is always pretty great if you like the heat. I actually do have a thick dock rope just can't find the sweet spot. Idk I wonder if having a long struggle with bulimia made me more resilient around the throat. Forceful vomiting causes so much pressure.
Use that rope on the boat - get out there and let us know how nice it is. It's too cold here and I could live vicariously through you!
 
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