Maripoosa
It gets so lonely here
- Sep 15, 2026
- 7
Initially, I was planning to commit suicide by hanging myself at home. However, I live with my parents, and after a few trial runs, I realized I simply can't bring myself to actually go through with it because I keep thinking sadly about my parents' reaction when they see me dead.
So, I was thinking of getting everything ready—setting up the stool and the rope around my neck—and then drinking a lot of alcohol. I've never drunk alcohol in my life, but there's some of my dad's liquor here at home. I figure if I have an empty stomach and drink several cans one after another as fast as possible, I'd get drunk easily, right?
I think that way I'd overthink things less and act impulsively (or maybe even just stumble and fall off the stool naturally).
But after reading some posts here, I realized people don't recommend committing suicide at a loved one's home because it causes trauma and often destroys the household. So, I was thinking that after leaving college, I'd take a bus as far away from home as possible. Then, in the early hours of the morning, I'd go to some random playground with a good anchor point (like a tree, a bar, or a swing set) and do the same thing I mentioned earlier.
The problem is, I'm a woman. I live in a country that's relatively dangerous for a woman to be out on the streets late at night. The last thing I want is to end up being forcibly taken by someone before I even get the chance to commit suicide.
Unfortunately, I don't have enough money to pay for a hotel or anything like that. And even if I did, my parents would find it extremely suspicious and stop me.
So, I was thinking of getting everything ready—setting up the stool and the rope around my neck—and then drinking a lot of alcohol. I've never drunk alcohol in my life, but there's some of my dad's liquor here at home. I figure if I have an empty stomach and drink several cans one after another as fast as possible, I'd get drunk easily, right?
I think that way I'd overthink things less and act impulsively (or maybe even just stumble and fall off the stool naturally).
But after reading some posts here, I realized people don't recommend committing suicide at a loved one's home because it causes trauma and often destroys the household. So, I was thinking that after leaving college, I'd take a bus as far away from home as possible. Then, in the early hours of the morning, I'd go to some random playground with a good anchor point (like a tree, a bar, or a swing set) and do the same thing I mentioned earlier.
The problem is, I'm a woman. I live in a country that's relatively dangerous for a woman to be out on the streets late at night. The last thing I want is to end up being forcibly taken by someone before I even get the chance to commit suicide.
Unfortunately, I don't have enough money to pay for a hotel or anything like that. And even if I did, my parents would find it extremely suspicious and stop me.
