Story Guilt is the only thing that's actually stopping me

[ssaaahmo]

My friend says she needs me more than ever right now so I feel like I have to stay around forever so I can help her.
My mother also said one time that if I kill myself, my sibling's children will think "well if aunty ____________________ could kill themselves, I can too!!!!"
So now I feel extremely guilted into staying even though I don't want to .
Does anyone else feel like this?

 

[Kezrina]

My friend says she needs me more than ever right now so I feel like I have to stay around forever so I can help her.
My mother also said one time that if I kill myself, my sibling's children will think "well if aunty ____________________ could kill themselves, I can too!!!!"
So now I feel extremely guilted into staying even though I don't want to .
Does anyone else feel like this?

Yes my ex partner knows how down I am and he says he would never forgive if I killed myself, because of the impact on my daughter, he wouldn't let her go to my funeral or have anymore contact with my family. This plays on my mind alot.

 

[ssaaahmo]

Wow that's a lot
Just to clarify my siblings don't have kids yet but I'm scared of giving people bad ideas if that makes sense

Yes my ex partner knows how down I am and he says he would never forgive if I killed myself, because of the impact on my daughter, he wouldn't let her go to my funeral or have anymore contact with my family. This plays on my mind alot.

I feel like she should get to decide whether she wants to go to your funeral or not (unless she's like 5 or something then maybe that's a different story

 

[NekoNomNom]

I was 11 when I had accepted my fate of a near death experience when I almost drowned. Then when I was 12 I tried to ctb for the first time, so I know that there is willpower in me to die. However, the only reason I hesitate now is because of my son. He is definitely why my SI kicks on so strongly now. It can be a cruel thing to be bound to people we love when it gets to be like this.

 

[ssaaahmo]

I understand that feeling