Guilt and pets

[burninghill]

I went to feed my trio of rats today and found out that one of them is very sick. I can't help but blame myself, I neglected a lot of my responsibilities over the past month under the belief I would be soon dead, but they're always my top priority. I haven't done more than procrastinate a clean here or there. They're not my first rats and I got them because I thought that having something to keep me occupied and something that depended on me would motivate me to get up on days when I couldn't, and that has definitely been the case.

I guess I'm just making this so that maybe some of you will think of her. She's still alive, but she must have declined quite quickly as I check on them daily and she was fine last I saw her. So, I'm not sure if she will make it through the night. I honestly feel like a massive failure. Maybe if you all hope that she will make it, then she will.

We lost all 3 of our senior, family dogs over the past year aswell which was very unlucky. Pets are so amazing and pure and indiscriminate. It really does feel like some kind of punishment that they're all being taken away from me.

 

[U. A.]

She might end up fine, and if not, it very well could have nothing to do with the very minor drop in upkeep their environment experienced on your behalf. In any case I am sorry. Lighting a healing candle for

 

[burninghill]

Update because I find it therapeutic to continue to talk about it:

She survived the night which genuinely surprised me, but she wasn't doing any better. I took her to the vet and decided the best decision was to have her put down. They said it was likely to be old age with a URI secondarily, so there wasn't much that I could do and it wasn't my fault.
Poor sweet girl. Life is so unfair. I wish I couldn't given her a billion more kisses.

I wonder if animals can ever know how much you love them. It does make me feel more at peace with death though, I guess. I'd never consider that whatever place she's gone to would be scary or uncomfortable, so wherever we go after can't be that bad.

 

[lonergirl_26]

you are an amazing owner!
I know they are very happy to have you and know how much you love them.
I'm sorry for your loss she will be having lots of playtime waiting for you and her buddies <3