tobeistosuffer
To be and to not be
- Nov 19, 2025
- 5
(Full suspension hanging)
Hi.. Sometimes I feel so much guilt, there are so many people who are struggling with illnesses and here I am.. young and healthy, I wish I could just trade my life for someone who wants one. I cannot bear this pain anymore. I want to go through with full suspension tonight, but the only thing keeping me back from this is the fact that when I am on the rope that's it.. I won't be able to get off if I feel my head is about to explode. And I've experienced with partial hanging and I can feel my head burning and like it's about to explode, it would be so appreciated if someone were to explain this process to me as I don't know how to avoid this feeling. I know hanging is painful and I have come to terms with it but I cannot bear the head exploding feeling, it feels like my heads going to fall off. Any advice? I'm going to end it either way, I just wish I could be so sure I will get unconscious fast. I need to finish what I started. Much appreciated, love all. <3 oh and one more thing. I wrote a note explaining my whole situation with my brother and how he SA me, he's currently not in jail and i am being told to leave the past in the past. So I will put the note in my pocket, assuming a paramedic or nurse will find it. in hopes they read my note, because if my family does I'll never get the justice since they are on my brothers side. I so deeply want to live a full life, but that was taken away from me from a very young age. I deserve peace, and that is death.
Hi.. Sometimes I feel so much guilt, there are so many people who are struggling with illnesses and here I am.. young and healthy, I wish I could just trade my life for someone who wants one. I cannot bear this pain anymore. I want to go through with full suspension tonight, but the only thing keeping me back from this is the fact that when I am on the rope that's it.. I won't be able to get off if I feel my head is about to explode. And I've experienced with partial hanging and I can feel my head burning and like it's about to explode, it would be so appreciated if someone were to explain this process to me as I don't know how to avoid this feeling. I know hanging is painful and I have come to terms with it but I cannot bear the head exploding feeling, it feels like my heads going to fall off. Any advice? I'm going to end it either way, I just wish I could be so sure I will get unconscious fast. I need to finish what I started. Much appreciated, love all. <3 oh and one more thing. I wrote a note explaining my whole situation with my brother and how he SA me, he's currently not in jail and i am being told to leave the past in the past. So I will put the note in my pocket, assuming a paramedic or nurse will find it. in hopes they read my note, because if my family does I'll never get the justice since they are on my brothers side. I so deeply want to live a full life, but that was taken away from me from a very young age. I deserve peace, and that is death.
